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07-19-2007, 04:51 AM
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 Signs of low status people (aka losers) There are some people who -- because of their past experiences and upbringing -- have certain behaviors that convey low status. I call this low status behaviors. Low status behaviors are unattractive and it makes the person repulsive to hang around with. It's not the person -- it's his behavior. So you can see the benefit in fixing these low status behaviors. Here are some signs of a low status person: They live in a continuous state of fear and jealousy. They hate what they cannot get and think the world is a scary and dangerous place to life. This include ugly chicks who hate beautiful women, or poor people who hate rich people. They're generally negative people. Just sad people, really. They're very emotionally reactive – small events can trigger anger, despair, and anxiety for them. They bitch, whine and cry but do nothing about it. They take small things and blow it out of proportion. Because small things effect small minds. They're not socially savvy. Because self esteem issues, they might not have a sharpen social skills set, therefore they don't do well in social situations. In fact, some don't socialize much at all because of mental issues. Lack of social skill set means lack of job opportunities and relationships. They don't value their time. People who are low status don't know how to put a price on their time and mental energy, that's why they squander it on petty ****. They think a lot if they're worthy enough of this or that. And because they're low status, they might try to buy their way through things. This means guys who buy women drinks and people who try to keep up with the Jones for social status sake. And if you ever have one of these low status people swear and cuss you out, do realize that they're coming from a position fear, angry and jealousy. What I usually do is give a big laugh at their face, turn around and walk away. Of course, this is just a sweeping generalization. And some people have varying degrees of low status behaviors. It isn’t a black or white issue but many shades of gray. Last edited by ken nubo : 07-19-2007 at 02:40 PM. Reason: Edited the introduction, it was a bit "extreme" as Shamou pointed out.      |
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07-19-2007, 05:03 AM
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| I have a low status person l,ike what you are describing, in my life now. He drives me nuts. He calls me everday to whine about the same stupid **** that he does nothing about. I want to tell him off but I haven't gotten mad enough yet, but he really brings me down |
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07-19-2007, 05:32 AM
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What you say is true... however, the way that you did say it might raise a few eyebrows... And I am totally with you... if you care about who you are... you should be careful about the company that you keep... it's all about that GIGO principle... "Garbage In... Garbage Out." That is, if you are not careful as to what you let in come into your mind... the output will be less than it could be...  . |
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07-19-2007, 06:36 AM
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| I think i fit the description of a "sad, depressed, negative" type person, unfortunately. Though, i think "low status" is a negative label itself. Giving someone who's negative and depressed a negative label is a little less than pro-active if you ask me. Here's how your points correlate to me if you're interested. 1. Yeah, i get jealous, and yes i hate wanting things that i do not have. However, i truely do not ask for all that much generally. Yes, i do believe the world is a scary and dangerous place to live. I'd imagine (as i'm sure you'll see as an excuse) that childhood locale has a lot to do with this. I think if as a kid you'd been attacked by small groups of people you didn't even know while you were alone as a kid, you'd be a little less trusting of the general safety around you. Here's a twist for you- if none of those kids ever bothered me. Perhaps if the one guy didn't have a baseball bat..., they'd be the "low status" people because they wouldn't have been able to kick the snot out of someone to feel better about themselves and become a "high status person." 2. I don't think this is so true of me. I can usually cope with problems VERY well in the moment; even very serious ones. However, it's only a matter of time before everything comes around and kicks me in the butt with depression and anxiety because my angery/frustration only builds up inside me because i happen to be... not that incline to present or share my emotional feelings. 3. Hit the nail on the head. Except maybe the mental issue aspect. According to the MMPI i tested completely within normal range of every mental category except slightly high in the field of aggression. I usually presume it's my overwhelming amount of sanity that makes me seem so strange to other people; people who have mental problems. 4. Not sure how to approach this one, but i'm not sure it's like me. Yeah, i'd buy a drink for a woman, not because i'd expect some outstanding result though; only because it's trudition to some extent. I do think a lot about myself/things related to me- mainly trying to figure how to mend problems. As for a price of my time- i only have the alotted amount, and it's worth more than most anyone could pay for it.  I think i do fit the label, but not so much the description because i'm coming from the other end. I'm negative because i'm a deep thinker, not a shallow one, which to me is a big difference. Also, i do have moral- which it seems the person you describe wouldn't have all that much. If you want to meet anyone like this though, probably 5/10 drug abusers (*HEAVY* marijuana abuse or other substances) would fit the description very well (from personal experience). They can't rely on themselves or anything else for relief from their downward spiral of what seems to them to be misfortune and badluck- not realizing that only they can change it. Not a mind flattening gas, pill or powder. |
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07-19-2007, 06:40 AM
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One of the best ways i've found to identify such low status people is just noticing wether the person smiles offen or doesnt smile much. The 3 reasons i figured (ok i didnt figure it on my own; i read it somewhere ) for one not smiling often are these:1. The person is unhappy 2. The person is trying to appear "tuff" (this reason applies mostly for guys). 3. The person is shy/feeling uncomfortable Either way, not smiling often means the person has some kind of issue going on/has low status.
__________________ All that matters is results. Last edited by Sam988 : 07-19-2007 at 07:58 AM. |
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07-19-2007, 08:44 AM
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these are all three reasons that i don't smile much around strangers (though i smile plenty around friends, family). unhappiness is a possible given for anyone who doesn't smile. appearing "tough" is indeed true as well; something that i also developed -intentionally- because of once again growing up in a rough area. Just happens to be something that stuck with sort of like a habbit. As for feeling uncomfortable- this goes back to social anxiety which was listed in the first post as a trait. i do agree, this is the best way to spot an insecure, depressed sort of person- as i've read articles on this before myself. i do think though, the true test involving smiling is smiling at someone and seeing if they'll smile back. not just expecting a smile for any reason. |
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07-19-2007, 09:11 AM
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| I can identify with some of the characteristics of the opening post and I have to say that this whole issue is alot more complicated than its made out to be. (Also, some of the points raised are actually contradictuory.) I have some very good friends and to be honest if we started treating each other like this then I wouldnt have picked them as friends to begin with. You dont just dump friends when they've outlived thier usefulness - in evlating you to some higher plane. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is everyone is different, some people want to change, to pull themselves up and create a better life for themselves ... cutting them off is a selfish thing to do. Why not try and point them in a different direction? Also, on the subject of smiling ... I smile ALOT, and I'm shy, and I can also get pretty unhappy at times (then I identify it, and force a state change) I smile when I'm nervous and when I see people around. Whats going on on the outside is not always representative of whats going on on the inside. |
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07-19-2007, 09:22 AM
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^my girlfriend is the same way- i think although being shy could be defined as being uncomfortable with people- the term 'uncomfortable with people' is a much more broad and different idea, at least the way i consider it. i'm uncomfortable with people a lot of the time, but i'm actually quite outspoken. no smiles here. it is a much more complicated topic than it's presented here. someone who seems "low status" could be that way for a 1,000,001 reasons. sort of uncaring, unbecoming, selfish, etc to just give them all the same red sticker and throw them out the window without making individual considerations. maybe some of them can't be helped- then again, maybe some can. we can't help ourselves if we can't help eachother, no matter how hard it is. to form a bold opinion like the one this topic seems to illustrate on the consensus that you've had a number of bad experiences in the past is a little selfish in some ways if you ask me (afterall- everyone is different). Which, i don't believe selfishness- and not helping other people just because you're afraid they'll pull you down- is so much more a desirable trait than depression or low self-esteem. Last edited by Ak47 : 07-19-2007 at 09:29 AM. |
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07-19-2007, 11:46 AM
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Maybe you invested too much in trying to help the one or two person you tried to help. Maybe there are ways to help them in small ways while limiting your exposure to them and without getting dragged down to their level. Last edited by seeker5 : 07-19-2007 at 11:48 AM. |
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07-19-2007, 12:08 PM
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| I think it is about degree's... some of your post in my opinion is touching on extremes (ism) and red flags are flying , we al have personal bounderies, and when those bounderies are ignored, not heard, attacked repeatedly then you are in a position where you do need to take action when you are dealing with people who are of the extreme end of the spectrum your life is effected greatly, and action must be taken to ensure personal safety, we live in a world where there are emotional vampires, there are people with no conscience "sociopaths" who experience no remorse or guilt, there are different types of sociopaths , high functioning ie) Ted Bundy extremely charming, very social , there is healthy selfishness and then there is the extreme, "narsasim" there are different types of abusers....... different types of depression, some are just depressed some are depressed with other* things going on.......... there fore we might be in the extremes again not all people who are insecure "are dangerous", but some deffently are* so again it is about degrees, I have a different deffenition of how I see or understand the term - "low status" /and or what "danger" to my personal bounderies mean Last edited by Old Soul : 07-19-2007 at 12:13 PM. |
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07-19-2007, 12:39 PM
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| Sounds like you feel you have a lot of experience with losers. While I do agree with a lot of your post, let me respond with my opinion of a few of your points: 1) "think the world is a scary and dangerous place to life." It is currently the 200th day of the year. In Baltimore, MD, there have been 181 murders so far this year. Yes, it is a scary place. 2) "This include ugly chicks who hate beautiful women, or poor people who hate rich people. " Does it include people who bash others that they think are ugly? 2) "They take small things and blow it out of proportion. Because small things effect small minds." Ever think that there are instances where the small things will become big things in the future, and you have to have enough brains to be able to see the big picture? (example of a pet peeve of mine... people who flick cigarette butts on the sidewalk, or out of their car windows) 3) "They're not socially savvy." Yes, I would consider bizarre things like projectile vomiting after kissing someone to be not too savvy. 3) "Because self esteem issues, they might not have a sharpen social skills set, therefore they don't do well in social situations." I would think that saying essentially "Here's how I define a loser. Avoid them, because losers suck. They just rain on your parade." is a sign that someone might have less than sharp social skills. 4) "People who are low status don't know how to put a price on their time and mental energy, that's why they squander it on petty ****." So, because I have stuff, and you choose to live out of a backpack and dufflebag, I'm a loser? (note: the profanity filter ate the url. it's: kennubo.com/2007/07/13/sell-your-s*** with the actual word) 5) "This means guys who buy women drinks" I always buy women drinks when I am out and about with friends. I also have at least one smoke/barbecue/picnic event at my house per year that I invite all of my past co-workers to. Does that make me a loser? 6) "If you encounter a low status person, don't bother trying to help them. Let them be miserable, those sad, sad creatures. I tried helping one or two, but they just try to drag you down." Thanks for the tip. I won't bother suggesting that you take a look in the mirror. Last edited by Doku : 07-19-2007 at 12:56 PM. |
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07-19-2007, 02:05 PM
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| I understand your frustation at being dragged down by a few negative people, but have a look at that telling penultiamate paragraph "I tried helping one or two, but they just try to drag you down. " I'm guessing that you saw them as broken and needing to be fixed, rather than seeing them as people who were doing the best that they could. Did they want your help, ask for it? A lesson it has taken me a while to learn is that it isn't our business to fix others (I've been reading Bryron Katie who says if you are busy taking care of someone else's business, who is taking care of your own?). People resent others interfering in their business, however well intentioned! Instead of sending these people your scorn, try sending them your love. Love doesn't mean sorting out their problems for them (otherwise how will they grow themselves?) It means treating them with respect and understanding, even if you don't agree with their choices. You don't have to be their best friend, but you don't have to pour scorn on them either. They might hate rich people or beautiful people, but you are pouring hate on them. How are they going to turn things around without a postive example? The more you focus on how awful negative 'low status' people are, the more you will attract them into your life! Funnily enough I found that some of the negative people in my life just drifted away easily when I stopped focusing on how negative they are and started focusing on being positive myself, the others who stayed became more postive themselves. The best thing you can do is be a shining example of yourself. I know you think you helping that process by rejecting all 'low status' people and yes while I agree spending ALL your time with negative people can be detrimental to your personal wellbeing, the things that bring up the strongest negative emotions are the things we need to face in ourselves and work through, not run away from. |
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07-19-2007, 02:32 PM
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| Hmm, a person shouldn't be define by their behaviors. So instead of "signs of low status people", it should be renamed to "signs of low status behaviors". I apologize to all the losers people out there, there is none. Just low status behaviors. Last edited by ken nubo : 07-20-2007 at 02:27 AM. |
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07-19-2007, 07:02 PM
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| Posts like these are polarizing because either you identify the people in your life who are "losers", or you identify with the characteristics of being a loser. Once you put that label on yourself, you're basically screwed. It's very hard to change your behaviors if you think you're a loser. The point is, nobody is a loser. Nobody really has "self-esteem issues", either. We're all raised a certain way and with certain experiences. These experiences determine how we'll act later in life. If you're constantly beat up as a kid, you'll probably find other people threatening. However, imagine if you hadn't been beat up. Imagine if everyone was exceptionally nice and respectful to you. It's easy to see that you'd probably be acting differently today. And so it is with any behavior. When you identify with that behavior, you're making a fundamental mistake. That behavior is simply the result of past experiences. Those experiences are not you, and you could imagine yourself having different experiences, different behaviors, yet still being the same person. Once you realize this, it's a lot easier to drop those negative behaviors. Nobody really has any problems, they just have past experiences that affect them in a certain way. |
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07-19-2007, 07:28 PM
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07-19-2007, 07:51 PM
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Also it reminds me of what my grampa george used to say when someone would say "this may be a stupid question, but.....": "There are no stupid questions, there are only stupid people!"  |
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07-19-2007, 07:58 PM
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| I don't think status is an absolute value. A lot of it is relative to the other people you are around. If you are surrounded by people of perceived higher value than you are you will tend to display signs of lower value and vice versa. I really think we need to get rid of this fear of labeling people. Most people here are smart enough to understand that a label is representative of something rather than an absolute term. Nitpicking language to death is a sure fire way to limit conversation. example: Quote:
I agree with the idea that you shouldn't try to change people. They need to change themselves. I've been watching the Dog Whisperer for a while, and I think a lot of his techniques should be applied to humans. More leading and less commenting (inaction or critquing). It does no good to tell others that they should change, but at the same time it does no good to just ignore the whole situation. You are who you are surrounded by. Part of being a social animal is that you absorb the traits of those around you. Part of being unable to fulfill yourself is that you must look outside to fulfill yourself. We all project our own beliefs about ourselves onto other people and we all absorb the beliefs of others and incorporate them into our own model of reality. I don't think it is unreasonable to come to the conclusion that "... they just try to drag you down." This does happen if you aren't consciously aware of it. I wouldn't consider myself high-status yet, but I'm working on it. I feel very aware of how much effect low status people have on me, because I'm constantly flipping back and forth between low and high status states depending on who I'm hanging around with. It takes a little while to regroup and isolate your state from their state if you weren't consciously aware of it. |
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07-19-2007, 08:22 PM
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I get what you mean. Maybe i should change it a bit; instead of just "not smiling often when interacting" as representing a low status person, i should change it to "not genuinely smiling when interacting". If you're shy and smile a lot, you're trying to get people's approval by meaning that you're no harm to them. Often displaying "not genuine smiles" will, IMO, make people lose the respect for you. How to distinguish a smile from a genuine smile? There are some ways, like: 1. If the person contracts one's eyelids while smiling, or in other words, the person "smiles with the eyes" while also smiling with the mouth, thats a sign of genuine smile. 2. A genuine smile is often shown when the person is feeling comfortable. So if you're shy, and you smile and at the same interaction you display signs that you're uncomfortable, the other person will probably unconsciously realize that your smile wasn't genuine, it was just to get the person's approval. 3. Rapid, upfront smiles are often seen as not genuine. Genuine smiles are often more slow, like your mouth is turning into a smile more slowly, it takes some seconds, instead of an upfront smile that takes less than a second, which is more likely to be considered not genuine. I hope you got the point, because i cant think of abetter way to explain it. Here are the points i remember now, later i might remember some more. Edit: Just remembered one more thing; some people try to look "tuff" because they're afraid that if they smile it will seem like a sign of insecurity, because smiling can be a two edged sword; if you're not congruent with your smile and act comfortably, you will look like you're displaying a sign of insecurity, you're seeking approval. So the people who try to look "tuff" don't want to take that risk because they're afraid of not acting congruently if they smile. Last edited by Sam988 : 07-19-2007 at 08:32 PM. |
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07-19-2007, 09:19 PM
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You would do well to learn from this quote: Quote:
Might do you better than conducting bogus social experiments like cutting in line at a bus stop and concluding that no one confronted you too much about it as proof of "social pressure." Regarding that, though, did you ever stop to think that no one pushed the issue at the bus stop because no one wanted to run the risk of personal injury or trouble with the authorities? I know I would have ignored you cutting in line, solely because I don't want to make dealing with a punk with attitude problems the highlight of my day. I don't want to get in a physical confrontation with someone who may or may not be armed, and I do not want to spend the rest of my day explaining myself to the police. You didn't get away with cutting in line because of social pressure. You got away with it because of implied or interpreted threat, either from you or the police. This is running long. But I hope you take the time to read it, and hopefully broaden your awareness, both of yourself and others. Good day to you, sir.
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