Signs of low status people (aka losers)

[Magicinthenight]

I don't get the original post. So there are people who are not as socially adept as some. And? Where does the thought go from there? We don't need guidelines how to recognise a person who's socially inadept but you know what WOULD help: if someone told others how to deal with these people.

People can fustrate us on so many levels but you always have a choice: support the person if they are willing/wanting to change themselves or leave if you find the company insufferable. Just accusing people of this or that without offering any advice how to change/any support for them seems like a way to make yourself feel superior.

[SmartAlx]

Amen!

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by brendannz

So we should laugh in your face, and then walk away.

In case it wasn't obvious, when I wrote this, I wasn't intending to mock McFly, but more how stupid the original post was..

[An1MuS]

Calling other people "losers" is a sign of low status.

[Karmakin]

Originally Posted by Sam988

One of the best ways i've found to identify such low status people is just noticing wether the person smiles offen or doesnt smile much.

The 3 reasons i figured (ok i didnt figure it on my own; i read it somewhere ) for one not smiling often are these:

1. The person is unhappy
2. The person is trying to appear "tuff" (this reason applies mostly for guys).
3. The person is shy/feeling uncomfortable

Either way, not smiling often means the person has some kind of issue going on/has low status.

I can agree and disagree with this post at the same time. I definitely do not have a problem smiling at people who I feel are genuine. I have had my friendly nature backfire in my face though. For example, I can find humor in many things, so therefore I laugh a lot. I have had a couple of men say, "Do you laugh like this with anyone else?" Like they are trying to forge some sort of special connection. So I have to tell them that no, we don't have a special connection, I simply laugh a lot. There have been times when I have been at different places, and I smile at someone because we made eye contact, and I just wanted to. What happens? The guy tries to come hit on me a few minutes later. It's like whenever I be my friendly self, men mistake it as a sign of interest.

Yes, maybe this is something stupid to complain about, but it gets old when men suddenly view you as someone to hit on because you are friendly. Especially when you are not attracted to those particular men. I find that sometimes I cannot be too friendly with men unless I am interested in them, and I want them to hit on me. I just find it really annoying they will take something as simple as laughter and smiling as signs that I am interested in them.

So yeah, when I feel like a guy is interested in me, and I don't have those feelings in return, I make sure I don't smile or laugh too much, which really sucks sometimes because I feel like I am limiting my reactions to certain things. So I guess this is kind of like trying to make myself appear "tuff," or not smiling because I don't feel comfortable.

I have also found that people that smile too much can be hiding their insecurities behind their smiles. I knew a really happy guy who committed suicide. I knew another female who was very smiley but was bulimic. IMO, smiling can mean nothing. It is all about using your intuition, as well as getting to know the person to tell if he or she is truly genuine in their happiness. I find it very disturbing when I feel like a person is smiling to make him or herself appear a certain way.

[Karmakin]

Originally Posted by An1MuS

Calling other people "losers" is a sign of low status.

I call rapists, child molesters, and animals abusers losers. Does this mean I am low status? Yes, I know their behavior stems from hurt in some way or another, but they are still losers.

Maybe I have not matured enough to feel sympathy for these people. I take that back - I can in ways, because I think it would be horrible to live a life in which one cannot find a better way of dealing with difficulties, and that truly is sad. And I actually didn't mean that in a judgmental way.

I don't see how people could not pass some sort of judgment on things such as rape and child abuse. As I stated before, maybe I have just not reached that level of maturity. But then again, I have no desire to.

[SomeRandomGuy]

Originally Posted by Karmakin

I call rapists, child molesters, and animals abusers losers. Does this mean I am low status? Yes, I know their behavior stems from hurt in some way or another, but they are still losers.

Maybe I have not matured enough to feel sympathy for these people. I take that back - I can in ways, because I think it would be horrible to live a life in which one cannot find a better way of dealing with difficulties, and that truly is sad. And I actually didn't mean that in a judgmental way.

I don't see how people could not pass some sort of judgment on things such as rape and child abuse. As I stated before, maybe I have just not reached that level of maturity. But then again, I have no desire to.

There is a difference between believing someone's actions are wrong, and referring to them with a negative term such as "loser". The words that we choose when describing others (whether we verbalize them or only think them internally) say more about us than about the person we are describing. When we use negative words, it is a reflection of the negativity within us.

[Nimue]

My impression about the first post is that he was trying to discuss what is that which makes people look like losers to others, not to mock others. Well, even if I'm wrong, it sure helped me think on why people often look down on me.

1. Jealousy/hate/fear: Totally not. I never hate. Some motivative jealousy, maybe. And I'm often the tougher than guys, except if it comes to social skills.

2. Emotionally reactive: Yep. I'm not actually touchy, just because my life is boring I often overreact at something new. Looks like I send wrong messages that way.

3. Not socially savy/mental issues: Totally yes. Social life is the only thing that can scare me, except a surprise test on quantum mechanics. I'm working on both.

4. Not value their time: Quite much. I use some of it to comment on the list, aren't I? And I thought I had to "buy things" for a long time, I was quite surprised to find out I don't.

5. Not every loser makes a fool of himself by attacking to the others. I never do. Also, sometimes even generally successful people do it

I hadn't thought that overreacting at times or fooling around a little more than usual could make others look down on me, and that being kind could improve my position instead of just making me look like a lamb. Interesting.

[180]

Increasing status

Higher status is the ability to influence

Postively - having resources/ depended on
Negatively - Harming you

Most of us are not in the mafia, so negative sources are high status can mostly be ignored. In order to have high status Let them KNOW that you have something that they can use or they need. An example of this is being

1) Well connected
2) Having money
3) Being artistic
4) Doing things that nobody else wants to do

#4 is a funny one. Surprisingly it can be one of the easiest way to gain status AND it increases your self esteem. For example, none of my friends wanted to call for pizza. They don't like talking to people. So I'd always be the one to order pizza. I was... pizza caller... and it actually raised my status among my friends, as lame as it was.

You'll see this in workplaces. The person who does the things that nobody wants to do. He/she is the higher status because they do what you can't. Although, you get off by being lazy... that person becomes important to you because without them YOU would have to do the work. They just proved to be important to you. This is kind of what leadership innately is. Although most of us WANT to be leader, we don't want the responsibilities of leadership.

We all think it's glamor and glitz, but we never stop to realize leaders put up with the most crap and do the most crap. That's why they are the leader. Their abilities to motivate people and get them moving is just part of it. They also take the bad things that come with being in charge.

Most of us are too lazy to be leaders, we all want to become one but in the end if really offered the choice and knowing full well what being leader is, most of us would rather stay at home and scratch our balls.

[rei]

Originally Posted by 180

most of us would rather stay at home and scratch our balls.

definitely how i love to spend my high-status evenings!

[Nimue]

Originally Posted by 180

Increasing status

Higher status is the ability to influence

Postively - having resources/ depended on
Negatively - Harming you

Most of us are not in the mafia, so negative sources are high status can mostly be ignored. In order to have high status Let them KNOW that you have something that they can use or they need. An example of this is being

1) Well connected
2) Having money
3) Being artistic
4) Doing things that nobody else wants to do

#4 is a funny one. Surprisingly it can be one of the easiest way to gain status AND it increases your self esteem. For example, none of my friends wanted to call for pizza. They don't like talking to people. So I'd always be the one to order pizza. I was... pizza caller... and it actually raised my status among my friends, as lame as it was.

You'll see this in workplaces. The person who does the things that nobody wants to do. He/she is the higher status because they do what you can't. Although, you get off by being lazy... that person becomes important to you because without them YOU would have to do the work. They just proved to be important to you. This is kind of what leadership innately is. Although most of us WANT to be leader, we don't want the responsibilities of leadership.

We all think it's glamor and glitz, but we never stop to realize leaders put up with the most crap and do the most crap. That's why they are the leader. Their abilities to motivate people and get them moving is just part of it. They also take the bad things that come with being in charge.

Most of us are too lazy to be leaders, we all want to become one but in the end if really offered the choice and knowing full well what being leader is, most of us would rather stay at home and scratch our balls.

Nicely put, 180!
#4 puts my hopes high, too. I'm usually the weird one who does what others don't. The question is, how to do it by becoming a leader instead of the kid who gets the garbage out.

And the last line...I wonder how immature phrases can sum up the meaning of life so well XD LOL

[Cochonette]

oh, forget this post... don't like no more! (edited)

[180]

Yeah #4 is kind of simplified fact of the matter is that thin line between peon and leader.

It does translate in how someone views them self and carry themselves as they do it. Body language is everything in this world.... so is tone. Strange how the words themselves don't carry as much weight.

Like when I do grunt work, if I do it and it's not important or required "I'm the peon". An example, in one of my work places I like to organize the paper cups and donuts symmetrically. I've had people comment like... "Oh you don't need to do that". Things LIKE that. Not exactly as quirky or stupid as that but you get the picture.

Or doing work that NOBODY asked you to do. Sometimes I do that, it looks really debasing, especially if it's something trivial. Another example, I'll say "Hey mike, I'm headed to the photocopier, let me do that for you". surprisingly, that's actually very low status. I don't know why. But it's always perceived like that. A very logical way to save time and energy but if it looks like I'm trying to garner favor... ug. So I don't offer to do anyone's work anymore. Because it looks like HIS time is more valuable than my time. So now I try to look like I'm building some GODLIKE TPS report and the top CEO of the company needs it ASAP. Sometimes looking important is more important than actually being important.

But in cases where something really needs to be done like I have to find the biblograhy for the paper and compile it and no one else can or won't do it... I'll kind of voice it out like... "Oh jesus jesus fine fine! I'll do it. Christ people. It's not that hard". It's kind of how I get that air of leadership. because I make it clear that it's something so easy they should be able to figure it out themselves and not need someone like me to do it. It works really well and I can feel everyone go like "Oh **** we suck".

[Nimue]

lol it must be a nice feeling!
That was a very insightful post... I'll keep your words in mind!

[nicbrahms]

Do you know that each and every person you stand in judgement of is YOU.

People are people in their beautiful, perfect and varied way.

I have less than desirable people come into my store, I know they are me and I want to clutch them to my bosom in such love.

If there are people that you consider 'low status' which I would say are possibly low vibration. Then it is your vibration which needs altering if you keep encountering these so called 'low status' people and it makes you sit in judgement and be condescending of them.

We are one, and thank God for variety and for everyone who does things in their own inimitable style.

Choose unconditional love instead of judgement or consternation and you will see the change and love reflected back.

Peace