Friends & Drugs: Have I Done All I Can?

[Jes]

Me, my girlfriend, and all of our friends are potheads. Some of them are alcoholics as well, and a few dabble in cocaine, mushrooms, and who knows what else. But they're all really pleasant people whom you probably wouldn't expect to be so ... dependent. Out of everyone in this group, however, I'm the "responsible" one. I never smoke on my own, rarely drink, and have been consciously distancing myself from this lifestyle recently.

So, as a somewhat responsible person, I try to discourage the people I really care about from doing stupid things. Mushrooms, for example, I find to be stupid. There aren't many physical side effects (aside from the normal ones you get from intentionally giving yourself food poisoning), but the psychological ones can be devastating. Especially to those with a history of mental illness. My girlfriend has a very, very long history of mental illness. And recently, I've noticed her becoming more and more interested in tripping.

Tonight I called her out on it, just to be a friend. I said, "look, I know you're thinking about doing them, but I wouldn't be a good boyfriend or any other kind of friend if I didn't tell you I think it's a bad, bad idea." She's smart, and she knows the reasons why it can be dangerous. So I told her, "I think you're a lot smarter than that; I don't want to make your decisions for you, but I don't want to sit here and not say anything either."

She appreciated it, and said she doesn't have any plans to do it in the future. Still, she gives into peer pressure easily, and I know that I am the only friend she has that would not encourage her to do it. Anyway, my question is, have I done all I can to be a good boyfriend/friend in this situation? Is there anything more that I should be doing, or have I already stepped over the line? I'm really concerned for her, especially since she's been hanging around these other people more often lately, and none of them have any desire to do much beside collect a part-time paycheck, get drunk, and pass out.

Thanks. Sorry that was long.

[Shamou]

Jes! I do believe that you have acted as a true friend and that you have done exactly the right thing...

We can only teach by being an example... and help those who want to help themselves... nobody can change us but us...

And, the only thing that I could wish for you is to find some new friends with some better values and outlook on life...

Until then, stay the course and hang on to your own values and principles... you will not regret it...

.

[John Hill]

You could not do more than you have done for your friend. In most cases, especially with drugs, people need to learn their lesson the hard way and unfortunately there is not much you can do about this. If these friends are causing you some grief perhaps you need to ask yourself are they really your friends?

John

www.attractingpeople.com

[Brutha]

How about quiting pot yourself to be a good example that drugs aren't a good thing.
It's about integrity. You have made the decision that drugs aren't benefitial.
Live it.
You influence other people by your actions.

[Jes]

Originally Posted by Brutha

How about quiting pot yourself to be a good example that drugs aren't a good thing.
It's about integrity. You have made the decision that drugs aren't benefitial.
Live it.
You influence other people by your actions.

I would like to, but I'm going through a particularly difficult time and I don't think I have the strength. I wake up so depressed every morning, worrying that my relationship with this girl is going to end. Dating her was probably a mistake from day one, because she certainly has her issues, but I'm in love now, and I only have one other person in my life who doesn't nearly make me as happy as her. I don't go to an office everyday, so the loneliness I'd experience without her would just be too much. ... So, when I'm with her, I get high. Because she likes to do it so much, and if I stopped, we'd have one less thing in common. Ridiculous, right? I dunno. Maybe I'd see things differently if it weren't so cloudy out.

I really wish I had a normal life.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Jes

I would like to, but I'm going through a particularly difficult time and I don't think I have the strength.

Sometimes when we can't forge ahead we must drift laterally... and that is OK so long as we keep on looking for that little crack in the wall that could lead to an opening that we can slip through...

The key is to keep on looking for that escape route that will take out of our undesirable condition...

I do wish you the very best... and may you find that ray of sunshine that you so desperately need...

.

[Jes]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Sometimes when we can't forge ahead we must drift laterally... and that is OK so long as we keep on looking for that little crack in the wall that could lead to an opening that we can slip through...

The key is to keep on looking for that escape route that will take out of our undesirable condition...

I do wish you the very best... and may you find that ray of sunshine that you so desperately need...

.

Thanks, Shamou. I think I may have found it a few days ago, but it will take a few weeks before I know what effect it has on my life. I decided to begin piano lessons again with my old instructor, and I think he's going to force me to get my act together. His training programs are insanely intense, so I'll have to be on top of my game if I want to keep up.

[Brutha]

I would like to, but I'm going through a particularly difficult time and I don't think I have the strength. I wake up so depressed every morning, worrying that my relationship with this girl is going to end.

We got a bit deeper to your real problem.
You can't change some else without projecting energy. How about asking for help with your own problems?

I don't go to an office everyday, so the loneliness I'd experience without her would just be too much.

Perhaps you should.