[Adult] My Daughter is a Porn Star

[Le Roi]

Originally Posted by machoman

It looks like some people sign up to this forum only to reply to a thread...

This thead comes up as number #2 when doing a google search for "Daughter doing porn". So it seems normal some people facing that hugely challenging situation to come onto this thread.

@Lubella: I moved your post here: Daughter doing porn

[FeelForYou]

I have not spoken to my dad since 2006 when he found out I was doing adult movies. It really didn't bother me till recently. As he and my mom are divorced and I have no idea what he is doing, what he is up to.

In a way you should feel thankful (sorry not the right word but am at a loss0 that she is only doing solo and girl girl work. And not boy-girl work which is often much more physically demanding on the girls.

I am not sure what to say at all. Only because of when this email was dated and because of my googling "my daughter is a porn star" lead me here and even though you posted this a year too late to be my dad, I had the desire to reach out to you.

I was raised in a very affluent family, with very conservative Christian values. My mother and father where both lobbyists connected to the California Republican party and did their best to give me an amazing life.
I want to let you know, as much as you blame yourself she is her own person, and especially if she started at 18 (which is when i started doing nude modeling) it has less to do with you and more to do with the fact that 18 year olds (regardless of what the law says) are kids with a newfound sense of freedom.

Now at the age of 26 I continue to do this. Though I know my days are numbered as I get older I have real estate, investments, property and my own company and am making sure that once I retire I have something to fall back on. (I learned the importance of networking from my parents lol)

I guess I am here to make you feel better, but also to try and maybe explain to you why your daughter would do this. And it's really very simple. The money. One of the few advantages to being a woman in this society is, that if you are good looking (and even if you are not) if you learn how to use your sex appeal, it can take you very far. (financially) My parents wanted me to work my way through school without help from them (I do not blame them at all, and hope adding that caveat doesn't make it seem like I am) and I had a choice between McDonald's or retail...or stripping. And I chose stripping.

Many females, although we like to think of women as either saints or whores, posess a lot of the same sexual characteristics that men do. Some of us are just very sexual. So many men say that if they could be given teh chance to do porn, they would. We like to think of women as more emotional, and less sexual, and although there are more women out there than men who are not so sexual, many of us are.

I don't know if you'd feel better if I told you that your daughter, with her own website and her own "brand" is enjoying your work, or if you would feel better if I told you she was suffering. Nobody wants to think of their baby girl "enjoying" this, but she probably is. The only girls who do not enjoy this are the ones who are so desperate that they do porn out of desperation. When you do porn out of desperation a lot of the time you are not mentally prepared for what you are about to do, and the fat cats at the porn studios can smell your desperation and try to get you to do as much as you can for as little money as possible. For me, never being at the point where I was going to starve if I said no for a job said no to many many offers and shrewdly, was able to negotiate a six figure contract from one of the higher end 'couple friendly' studios that paid me well for what was about two weeks worth of work every month.

That kind of money, is very hard for some people to turn away. Especially if it's for doing something that you enjoy. After my contract was up I tried to negotiate for more money. When I didn't get it. I retired and made a site like your daughter. And then, due to demand and popularity was offered another contract with another studio for even more money. I am now with my third studio and make 7 figures.

That is not bragging. But money makes our world go round. And there is a reason why countries like the USA and Czech Republic have booming porn industries. We all want to be the big stars on TV with the nice houses and the bling bling etc etc but wages have remained flat, and a college education no longer guarantees a high paying job. Being in this work has allowed me to go to school, for what seems like forever. Because that is actually the life I want to live. I am not a 9 to 5 person 30k a year kind of person. Not because I am spoiled but because I dislike struggle. And it's true, I dislike hard work. So I found myself a loop hole.

I have an MA, a BA and two associates degrees lol. That's how much I enjoy the student life and learning. I never want to stop learning. And this career suits me fine.

So I feel like I am tlking to my own dad, defending myself. But if you think porn is degrading, or horrible to women, that is your opinion and I have to say that I can't disagree with you much there. Porn is about objectifying women. And men's fantasies. But every man who watches porn has no right to judge for it's mens continued interest in porn, and continued buying of porn, and visiting porn sites (even free ones) that keeps the industry going. And not many women will do porn for cheap, so the money you give these companies (even if it's by accidently clicking a link) is actually contributing to the industry and keeping it going.

This is a very rambling letter. With no point really. Other than I hope that she uses her money wisely, that she learns that the less she does the more she is worth. And that you love her no matter what. You should not pretend to agree or support her. I am against that. Because every porn star knows that their parents SHOULDN'T approve of what they do and if they do, it's almost like saying in a weird way, that you don't care about her that much (I know sounds strange, but you should never tell her you are 'cool' with it)

This is her choice. It's not a sexual orientation that needs to be accepted. Being a porn star IS a lifestyle choice. And you have the right to be angry. You have the right to tell her you think it's horrible and a waste of her talents. You have a right as a father to be against it and not want her to talk about it. But at the same time, do not shut her out completely. Reverse psychology isn't going to work. Especially if shes very young. When my dad closed the door on me, I didn't run out and quit, I called his bluff (which wasn't a bluff) and like a bratty teenager I pushed on. Gave him the middle finger. And said "fine be that way, i dont need you."

Anyways, if your daughter is still in porn than we would have entered at around the same time (minus a year) let me know how it went. How are you guys? Are you guys ok? Is she still in? Etc etc. I kind of NEED to know. And I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.

-FeelForYou

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by FeelForYou

Many females, although we like to think of women as either saints or whores, posess a lot of the same sexual characteristics that men do. Some of us are just very sexual. So many men say that if they could be given teh chance to do porn, they would. We like to think of women as more emotional, and less sexual, and although there are more women out there than men who are not so sexual, many of us are.

Bingo! You're speaking my language. You put in perfectly.

Originally Posted by FeelForYou

So I feel like I am tlking to my own dad, defending myself. But if you think porn is degrading, or horrible to women, that is your opinion and I have to say that I can't disagree with you much there. Porn is about objectifying women. And men's fantasies.

I have to disagree with you there. I'm a stripper and I don't feel degraded. I'm bisexual so I have to watch girls doing porn in order to masturbate and I patronize other strip clubs. So it's not just men's fantasies. It's my fantasies too.

Originally Posted by FeelForYou

You should not pretend to agree or support her. I am against that. Because every porn star knows that their parents SHOULDN'T approve of what they do and if they do, it's almost like saying in a weird way, that you don't care about her that much (I know sounds strange, but you should never tell her you are 'cool' with it)

He said they were best friends. I would love it if my mom supported my bisexuality or my stripping. She would be my best friend. I would be thrilled if I had a daughter who made six figures as a stripper or a nude model. (I'd be worried about diseases as far as porn).

I make good money stripping, but it seems I can be making more. How were you able to make millions from the sex industry? Any advice? Are you concerned about AIDS? Because if it's a matter of contracting an STD, it's not worth it and I would much rather fall back on the 9-5 30K. That's not a struggle if you live a simple life.

[Ceoarob]

Just got back from the strip club,

had some in depth conversations with some girls about this. It's not really that big of a deal. Most of them enjoy what they do - it's just the media's portrayal of everything and other people's stereotypes/non-acceptance that makes such a big deal from these things.

You might think it's degrading, she might think it's liberating. But it's her reality, not yours. Ergo, she wins.

Cheers.

-AR

PS: Feelforyou, I love your writing style. If you're ever in Austin, TX, let's grab coffee