Odd Emotions

[OpDagger]

Hey everyone, I'd like a little advice. I'm 19, and a guy, for reference. Until about a year ago, I was completely anti-social. I had very few friends, and preferred it that way, and I really disliked everyone for the most part. I had some crushes throughout my younger days of course, but I never did act on any of them. About two years ago I actually asked a friend out, and we went out for a few months, but eventually broke up(for perfectly normal reasons, I got over it pretty quick; she dumped me, by the way). About a year after that, I started attending college, and that is when I really started making friends. I definitely could not survive all alone all the time now like I once did, and I have lots of friends, both guys and girls. Things are pretty great. I dated one other girl during this first year of college, but subsequently dumped her because she cheated on me and wouldn't ever fess up to it(until weeks later). That hurt, but I really was beginning to wonder if I could trust her by the time I found out she was cheating, so it softened the blow a bit. After all those years of childhood being completely anti-social, life seems incredible with all of these friends, and I am far more happy than I've ever been before. I should also mention that I am a Christian, and about a year ago is also when I really realized that I take my faith seriously, and that's when I started praying for friends, and boy did I get them.
After dumping the cheating girlfriend, I swore off dating for a while, and focused on school. It was around this time that I started realizing what I actually want in a girl, and it was not anything that any of the many(two :P) girls I have dated had. There are a lot of qualities I started looking for in the girls I met, and the ones I already knew. This kind of discouraged me, because I realized I knew only a couple of girls that fit my criteria(it's not some strict written list or anything, just qualities and such that she has got to have; I guess for the first time I have standards, and that seems like a good thing) Of the girls I knew who fit in with my requirements, none of them had any interest in me, which was fine, it's all good. This left me with some other girls who would certainly be interested if I brought it up, but they were simply not my kind of girl at all. So I decided to wait a while and just keep making friends. This brings me pretty much up to present day, where I recently was reacquainted with a friend from when I was a very young child(3 or 4, maybe 5, I don't really remember exactly). She just so happened to be quite good looking, and seemed to be everything I wanted. This didn't really change much for me, though, it only perked my interest in getting to know her better. I should mention that in the past, I have had real problems with becoming instantly obsessed with a new crush or whatever, and in my mind I make things far more serious than they are. I've learned through experience that I do this, and now for the first time, I really realized what I was doing subconsciously and immediately began making a conscious effort not to read anything into a nonexistent situation. We were simply friends who didn't even know each other very well yet, but she was certainly intriguing. Then not long after this, I was to meet up with her and hang out with some other people. She spent most of her time talking to some other guy though, and they eventually left. I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. This is why I have come here, asking for help. It makes no logical sense to me to be feeling upset and, dare I say it, jealous, about this, and yet I am. Very much so. I know that from an outside point of view it is downright weird, I have no right to be jealous, this girl and I are just getting to know each other. But for some reason that I cannot fathom, I can't stop these emotions from raging around inside me. Is this normal? The way I figure it is, either I'm quite weird, or I'm just immature, and this is something that will get better as I continue to mature(I kinda hope it's this second one, ha). So, is it one of these possibilities, or something else entirely? I'm still pretty new to a lot of these emotions, so I am really unsure of how to cope with them(although I will say that I have felt this way before many times in the past, and each time I seem to deal with it better than the last).

EDIT: Oh, I also just thought to add: Seeing as how I have been both dumped and cheated on in the past, I know what the whole heartache/breaking up thing feels like. I have had to get over girls that I really liked(or at least thought I did) in the past, and so I am familiar with that feeling. The odd thing is that this current thing feels just as if I just broke up with this girl. In reality, I don't even know her all that well yet! It doesn't make any sense to me, I hope someone here can make some sense of it.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I don't think it's that you are weird or immature. This kind of situation, where you begin to be intrigued by someone and the possibilities they represent, can leave you feeling down when it doesn't go the way you imagined. I think your feelings right now are perfectly natural. I know that it feels bad, but the best thing to do is to realize that she's not the only person out there with the qualities you are looking for. At this point, you may or may not go any further in your relationship with her, but you will find the love you are looking for.

I know the feelings of jealousy well. They crop up when you least expect it and like you said when it seems illogical. This is coming from a 26 year old woman who has just ended her first relationship...I can tell you in no uncertain terms that the emotions are overwhelming at times. Lying, cheating, uncertainly, jealousy and the loss of what you think you really want are hard to deal with. You will be just fine. Don't lower your standards. Keep your head up. Take good care of yourself, be a good friend and remember you are young. Everything will work out in time. I know the waiting stinks sometimes, but the payoff is better when it's right...not just now.

I don't know how much I have helped you I know lots of people here will give you better advice. I wish you the best.

[OpDagger]

Thanks for the reply, aspiring. It's good to hear that my feelings are more natural than I thought, and yes, I've already begun to feel better after really thinking things through to type them up on here. Same principle as talking about your problems, but online, I guess Your advice sounds a lot wiser than me, so thanks again for that. It seems like it's really hard to realize that you're young, until you aren't anymore. Then it's hard to realize that you're getting older, life can be confusing, haha.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Life certainly can be confusing. Usually, I find that people can give me the best advice or words of wisdom, but until I am "ready" for them, they don't do much. One day it clicks and everything falls into place. I just want to encourage you that all of these things will work out. Even if you can't feel it at the moment, have a little trust in life .

Good luck with university and all your relationships. You seem like you have your head on straight.