Men and Marriage by George Gilder

[anoldsmoothie]

I had heard of George Gilder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia because in the late 20th Century he coined the term convergence which he defined as the melding of electronic mass media, communications and information technology into a single medium during the Information Age. He's known for the expression "becoming free from the "copper colassus" with reference to the emergence of wireless communications in western societies.

Being in the wireless industry, I was experiencing exactly what he meant with the fusion of high powered computers with radio broadcast equipment and network control systems. Today's modern wireless transmitters and networks are more computer than radio equipment. Wireless techies and managers who know of Gilder's work jokingly blame any glitch in their systems on bad convergence.

One day, while I was out doing cell site work in my L.T.D. Budget rental with radio turned to a D.C. area station, El Rushbo mentioned a book by George Gilder called "Men and Marriage." He said he was impressed with the bold and very controversial theme of the book and said he planned to interview him on a later show, something he rarely does. Of course, I'm thinking, "Is this the same guy who is known for "convergence" and his social commentary on the Information Age.?"

There aren't many controversial non-fiction books that have impressed me. A few of them might include Milton Friedman's "Free to Choose," Charles Murray's "The Bell Curve," and maybe L. L Teuling's "Looking Out for No. 1." But, that night on my regular stroll up Wisconsin into Georgetown to eat dinner, I looked for a bookstore that might have the Gilder book and what to my surprise, those that had any copies had sold out, proving the power of having one's book mentioned by El Rushbo.

Back in the hotel room, I called the local Border's (remember them?) in my home town and back ordered it.</P>

When it finally came in, they tucked it way back near the john where the liberal staff always hide books they don't like. And, why did they not like it? Because it explained a lot of what you see going on around you in the modern game of "sexual politics."

In fact, Gilder first released the book in the early 1980's under the title "Sexual Suicide." He had a hard time getting it published not only because of the title but also because of its content. It bombed. An advisor told him to rename it and it still didn't do very well. That is, until Rush mentioned it on the show.

Turns out, Gilder is a demographer by Harvard education and ended up working as an academic defender of the Reagan and later Republican Revolutions. Check his Wiki page link above if you want to delve into his detailed background.

Wanting to know what this guy with his diverse background had to say about men and marriage, I read the quick-read book. Yikes, not only was is generally an insightful book, it also confirmed so much of what I was seeing around me in an era of feminism, devaluation of men, free love and loose ethics in a post industrial age.

Rather than wax elequently about the book, check out the links for book reviews and summaries of content. And, here's some summaries and content quotes to tease you:

1. George Gilder Men And Marriage | Men and Marriage by George Gilder (Pelican: $15.95; 200 pp.) - Los Angeles Times - A negative LA Times review:

In this scheme, anything that potentially lightens the male burden of breadwinning--such as welfare or decent pay for working women--threatens to unleash the primordial male propensity for rape and pillage. As if to give us a sample of the nastiness men are capable of, Gilder snaps that comparable worth (that is, equal pay for work of comparable worth) is "like . . . apartheid." And abortion is bad, he fumes, not because of the loss of fetal life, but because "a man quite simply cannot now father a baby unless his wife is fully and deliberately agreeable.

2. Marriage battle more than a turf war over a word
family/marriage-tames-men-and-in-turn-helps-society-
study/: Marriage tames men and in turn helps society.

"Gilder, in his seminal Men and Marriage, states that “the crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and male biology to the long term horizons of female sexuality.” He argues that females are the basis of civilization and that they are the ones responsible for the future that men usually try to escape from. “Once the man marries he can change,” writes Gilder. “He has to change, for his wife will not long have him if he remains in spirit a single man. He must settle his life, and commit it to the needs of raising a family…He must submit…to the values of maternal morality and futurity.” Gilder also argues that women are more confident in their identity than men because of their physical processes. Thus, men, to a large extent, must learn masculine identity."

3. http://stevenwales.blogspot.com/2006/09/men-and-
marriage-by-george-gilder.html - Men and Marriage by George Gilder - from a blog called Another Pen Western Culture.

from the comments to the blog: "Yep. George Gilder rocks. I actually still have Arrowood's copy of the book when I borrowed from him."

"The overall sexual behavior of women in the modern world differs relatively little from the sexual life of women in primitive societies. It is male behavior that must be changed to create a civilized order." Good stuff.

4. Marriage as a Feminist Institution - Marriage as a Feminist Institution:

"Marriage, Men and Woman George Gilder opens his book Men and Marriage (one of Dr. Dobson’s favorite books on marriage) with this hugethought sentence: “The crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and biology to the long-term horizons of female sexuality.” While there have been rare examples – such as the Flapper of the Roaring Twenties – female sexuality remains largely stable from culture to culture and age to age, requiring little cultural control. This is not true of the human male. His requires consistent control."

5. The Marriage Bed &bull; View topic - Men and Marriage -- George Gilder - Review of book by web page called "The Marraige Bed - sex and intimacy for married Christians."

Gilder illustrates that, if our societies are to recover from much that is broken in them, our men must grow up and become responsible, and for this to happen our women (and the fathers who protect them?) must return to the rigid standard that sex and marriage must be withheld from men until they "earn" it.

Gilder's seminal quote for the book is of anthropologist Margaret Mead, who said "The central problem of every society is to define appropriate roles for men."

There are interesting demonstrations that forcing sexual integration in our institutions (and thus "feminizing" those institutions) contributes to a destructive effect in the development of boys into responsible, confident men. One of his assertions is that fairly rigid social roles for men and women do not need to be enforced by law, but seem to arise and persist naturally in the absence of political/philosophical agitation to the contrary. He provides lots of examples, references, and quotes from respected anthropologists, scientists, sociologists.

Had enough? I told you it was controversial. Given my background in urban poverty programs and the fast-paced wireless industry, here's what struck me about the book:

- I finally understood why devalued men join gangs and practice "wilding" every so often, watch football en masse on Sunday and why there are matriarchial societies in inner cities.

- It clarified my observed understanding of the practice of "goldigging."

- I now understand why when you get divorced at age 40, are making good money and have a pulse, women fling themselves at you at the company picnic.

- Why some women are so snarky with non-feminist trophy wives.

- And, why so many young, good-looking secretaries are willing to break-up the marriages of their older bosses.