Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

anoldsmoothie · 12-21-2011, 02:37 AM

It's bad enough one has to deal with the subtle complications with friends and significant others of the same sex coming into frequent contact with each other in real life. Well, when they are your facebook friends, it gets no simpler.

In fact, I believe it's worse. Innocent or subtle comments online in a social network framework are easily misread as flirts or signs of serious attachment more than they are in face-to-face or gossipy conversation.

I just went through a blow-up caused by an old teen sweetheart who, after 40 years, found me on FB and became a friend to the dismay of my girlfriend. Ended-up losing both. Long story. Reminded me of the South Park Facebook episode.

Anyone else have this happen to them, especially if you're in your mature years of dating?

SouthPark "You have "0" Friends Video" (have to tolerate the scattered ads

You Have 0 Friends (Season 14, Episode 4) - Full Episode Player - South Park Studios

Check out my humble personal blog:

Retiring Gracefully

C33 · 12-21-2011, 06:57 AM

I think Facebook is a tool to keep friendships, but it's certainly not a substitute for intimacy.

It's normal that an old sweetheart reappearing in one's life causes problems, even if the connection is online. The issue with Facebook is that you can't control how other people express themselves, and some mild flirtation from an admirer can be interpreted as something you have initiated.

Personally, I don't like the influence of FB on people's interactions. I think social networking is great for business and keeping in touch, but it tends to isolate people in a scripted online version of their ideal self.

anoldsmoothie · 12-21-2011, 09:31 AM

Boy, you hit that nail on the head. I never got so confused over what to do about the tift than with that experience. Had a hard time sorting-out if their we're any underlying motives to it or it was what it was on the surface.

veragarcia · 12-22-2011, 04:52 AM

“The purity and trueness of love through an Internet relationship far passes that of one based on physical contact.” ~ Casper

cacheborn · 12-22-2011, 05:07 AM

I think you are looking at it from the wrong end. Human beings are complicated anyway, FB just adds icing on the cake maybe.

12-21-2011, 02:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
anoldsmoothie Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 41	facebook complicates relationships It's bad enough one has to deal with the subtle complications with friends and significant others of the same sex coming into frequent contact with each other in real life. Well, when they are your facebook friends, it gets no simpler. In fact, I believe it's worse. Innocent or subtle comments online in a social network framework are easily misread as flirts or signs of serious attachment more than they are in face-to-face or gossipy conversation. I just went through a blow-up caused by an old teen sweetheart who, after 40 years, found me on FB and became a friend to the dismay of my girlfriend. Ended-up losing both. Long story. Reminded me of the South Park Facebook episode. Anyone else have this happen to them, especially if you're in your mature years of dating? SouthPark "You have "0" Friends Video" (have to tolerate the scattered ads You Have 0 Friends (Season 14, Episode 4) - Full Episode Player - South Park Studios Check out my humble personal blog: Retiring Gracefully

12-21-2011, 09:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
anoldsmoothie Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 41	Boy, you hit that nail on the head. I never got so confused over what to do about the tift than with that experience. Had a hard time sorting-out if their we're any underlying motives to it or it was what it was on the surface. Last edited by anoldsmoothie; 12-21-2011 at 03:22 PM.

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12-21-2011, 06:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
C33 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 623	I think Facebook is a tool to keep friendships, but it's certainly not a substitute for intimacy. It's normal that an old sweetheart reappearing in one's life causes problems, even if the connection is online. The issue with Facebook is that you can't control how other people express themselves, and some mild flirtation from an admirer can be interpreted as something you have initiated. Personally, I don't like the influence of FB on people's interactions. I think social networking is great for business and keeping in touch, but it tends to isolate people in a scripted online version of their ideal self.

12-22-2011, 04:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
veragarcia Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 9	“The purity and trueness of love through an Internet relationship far passes that of one based on physical contact.” ~ Casper

12-22-2011, 05:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
cacheborn Family Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6,439	I think you are looking at it from the wrong end. Human beings are complicated anyway, FB just adds icing on the cake maybe.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums