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12-17-2011, 11:47 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Moss point, Ms
Posts: 4
 |  I love her but She a Cheater! I want to leave her but I'm scared!
I love her & we've been together for almost 7 years but all she does is treat me like trash, hurt me, & Cheat on me!  I want to leave her cause I know I deserve better but I'm scared I can't get anyone else because I cant really work cause I was in an accident last year so I don't have a job, I'm 350 pounds, and I have a 4 & 1/2 inch penis!  I mean don't get me wrong I have a wonderful personality, a big heart, a great since of humor, and I am a very caring lover (I always make sure to make the other person orgasms!) & I have NEVER & will NEVER be unfaithful or cheat! but What woman would be with an overweight man with a small dick and no Job? Please help!!! any advice? Should I stay with her & just deal with it or leave her and try to find someone who can except me for me & my flaws, someone I deserve? and if I do leave her how long do you think it would take me to find a woman who Really does love despite all that? PLEASE COMMENT BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
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12-17-2011, 12:13 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 459
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Speaking of someone with similar self esteem issues and lacking of any real relationship for most of my 29 years. I'd say focus on loving yourself. Your personality will not matter if these deep seated fears and feelings control your actions. Love her by letting her be her. If who she is is making you feel this way then you can talk with her more about whats causing it, or focus what you can control which is your own behavior. I'm not going to say weather or not your a penis size matters, but frankly while men tend to associate with their members, they are not them. However, if this is important to you, being 350lbs overweight will not help it any! I believe Dr Oz stated you lose 1 inch of functionality for every 30 to 50lbs. Think of what a being a man really means to you. |
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12-17-2011, 12:53 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Moss point, Ms
Posts: 4
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I tried talking to her about everything and showing her how much i love her and letting her know how much it hurts me when she sleeps with other men but she freaks out on me and says she doesn't want to talk about it and starts trash talking me (and I stay calm and would NEVER talk to her the way she talks to me) cuz she want to pretend like none of it ever happen and like she never did it or hurt me! Then she tells me she sorry for cheating and treating me like that when I try to talk to her about it and she says she gets mean and doesn't want to talk about it because she feels so bad about it and that it hurts her that she hurt me so bad & she Loves me and wants to marry me! but then she go's out and cheats on me again! I just don't understand!!! I could never do that to her or treat her like that! and all I am is good to her & show her all the Love in the world! How could she keep doing this to me if she really loves me? |
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12-17-2011, 01:20 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 459
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Firstly, She is not doing anything to you. You are doing it to you. When she does these things, she is living things through her path to get whatever it is she needs for whatever her motivations. Why she does them obviously means she needs something but odds are she doesn't know what that is. People also have a must to see themselves as good and most likely sounds like she can't face the reality of her actions and the hurt it causes you. Ultimately the pain is yours, you feel it, you think the thoughts and believe the things that cause you the feel the pain. I'd say look again where your not loving yourself. I'm not saying it won't. The ego never lets go without a fight. Can you not judge her? Not want something more from her than you have? Focus on the guy in the mirror. Weather or not she is with you in your life, he always will be, and he is the one you need to make sure is okay, weather you manage to work things out with her or not. |
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12-17-2011, 06:51 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,975
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You're a nice guy. Nice guys finish last. Saying you're loving and would never cheat and are a very caring lover with a great heart has the opposite effect that you're going for, it's a turn off, sorry. It's boring. It makes women feel like they've got you hook line and sinker. Instead you need to cultivate the idea that you have options and that you're gonna weigh your options. Lose weight. Lose at least 100 pounds. With that said, it's not as important if a guy is fat than if a girl is. Enlarge your dick. Amazon.com: Happiness thru the Art of... Penis Enlargement: A 'Novel Guide' to Jelqing, the G-Spot, How to Last Longer in Bed, and Other Sexual Secrets eBook: Cristian YoungMiller: Kindle Store. This works, the guy was interviewed on TV. Find work or go back to school. No excuses, but do something you love. Think about what you have going for you: do you have your own place? Is it neat and clean and nice smelling? Do you have a car? Do you have friends? Stand strong. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, people won't care. Be independent, don't smother her. Explore your options with other women. |
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12-17-2011, 07:04 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas
Posts: 1,855
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Oh goodness, honey. Coming from a woman, your brand of love really is appreciated. Especially by someone mature and secure with themselves. If you are unhappy in your relationship, then leave. Don't be afraid to be alone or whether you'll find someone else. I promise you there is someone out there for you and she'll come along in a healthy way when you are happy with yourself. And, not that it should matter, but if you are concerned about your penis size (from what I understand, 4.5 inches really isn't small, hun. I think it's around average), weight loss will increase that. Well, not exactly increase it, but getting rid of fat around it will uncover more. I've read once in Playboy (  accredited, I know) that with every 50 lbs or something like that you gain 1 inch visibility. So say you make your way to your ideal weight, which is most likely under 200 lb...you'll be packin', sugar.  Will Weight Loss and Exercise Make Your Penis Bigger? | Fitness, Weight Loss, and Diet Blog by Better Body Journal There's an article if you're interested. Good luck to you! If you're unhappy, there is no reason to keep yourself in that relationship. Headgames and changing your personality are not necessary or healthy, so please don't buy into that. Just be yourself, improve what you want to improve, and learn to love yourself and you'll find yourself where you want to be eventually. You don't deserve to be in an abusive relationship. No one does. |
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12-17-2011, 11:30 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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She isn't your health and fitness....only you can do that for you. That alone would change your outlook on life as others have already said. Be selfish enough to get yourself mentally and physically fit, then worry about love. Turn from Your Selfish Ways - The Pursuit of Happiness? Profound-Self-Help.com You've got to get your "house" in order. You got a great loving heart but unfortunately there's an innate issue of physical attraction that we all have to deal with too. It is in your power to learn how to have a better relationship with health and fitness and as a byproduct of success there, you will find many opportunities for love later on. You won't have to cling to someone that doesn't love you enough.  |
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12-18-2011, 05:00 AM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Nevada USA
Posts: 143
| Quote:
First, what is wrong with being alone? next.. loose weight, and your penis will get bigger. Weight Loss Surgery | Bariatric Surgery | Surgical Weight Loss Center: Western Bariatric Institute of Reno, Nevada Second, get some training. In short become a man woman will want to date. Like attracts like. Edited to add. The cheating wont change. Can you live with that for the rest of your life? How would be feel about an open relationship? If you love her, and can except her cheating as part of a relationship, then stay.. If not then go. Last edited by newkaren; 12-18-2011 at 05:03 AM. | |
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12-18-2011, 11:36 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Moss point, Ms
Posts: 4
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Thank you all for your comment and a good reality check & a good "kick in the behind" to get my big but up & lose some weight! I really need that motivation! & I've never been more motivated then Now! & momo3bur Thank You So Much! You are a sweetheart! and your absolutely Right! The qualities of my heart and personality are Perfect just the way they are and as far as that go's I'm a catch! I mean people like me are hard to find and there are tons of women out there that would love to be with someone with my qualities! Although I do lack the assertiveness and confidence that I need! But Thats about to change! Cause If I had that along with the personality and qualities I do have & lost some weight and had me a job! I'd be The perfect man! The ladies would be falling all over themselves for me! & I'm gonna make It happen Starting NOW! Thanks for the motivation everyone! & Once my girlfriends sees I'm serious and motivated & after I get a job & start losing weight, I'm gonna sit her down & tell her, "Look, I love you but you have got to stop cheating on me! cuz there are women out there that would love to be with me! & I have other options! So if you love me and want to keep me, then ya need to stop hurting me & and cheating on me, or else we're done and I'll pick from one of the many other women that would love to have a chance with me!"  Thank you guys you've been a big help!
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12-19-2011, 03:10 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 717
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LOL, you weren't trolling are you? If you are being completely serious, then dump her immediately. If she's cheating on you and treating you badly, then you don't deserve that. Don't worry about becoming attractive to other people, you can work on that later – AFTER you have eliminated this fodder from your life. |
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12-19-2011, 11:23 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NEW ENGLAND!!!!!!!
Posts: 1,701
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What are you not able to give her that is causing her to stray? that is a fair question because if you do not get it at home you are going to go looking. I wish you good luck and it is always good to see someone get motivated to activate change in their lives... Onward and upward...
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12-19-2011, 02:32 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 12
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Its very clear. You were/are not in love buddy. Its something else. If it would be love then her happiness must be yours too. and saying size of penis and orgasms? buddy life has many things except those too. and the topics you are saying are not worthy to be worried for. My words may be harsh but that's what really fact is..
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12-21-2011, 03:24 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
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You're not in love with anybody including yourself (and loving and accepting yourself is the first step). You're with her because you're afraid of being alone. You already know you're afraid of being alone and while being with her is somewhat miserable it beats the alternatives. Stop struggling against yourself. Love your obesity. Love your body. Love your imperfections. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made. You messed up a few things with your health but you're still contributing, willing to help others and interested in growth. When you are finally in tune with your real self and stop all this pointless struggling you won't need her. You're trying to confront your weaknesses when in fact you must learn to love and accept them. When you understand them better and in context of your full self they'll minimize themselves naturally. |
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12-22-2011, 03:18 AM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 100
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You sound desperate or like somebody who is making up things to get attention. What bloke actually joins a forum and tells people he has a small penis? Keep that stuff to yourself mate lol. The only thing I can think of that could help that problem involves a brick but seriously you need to stop being so co dependent because it is not an attractive quality to have. A relationship is supposed to be about two people and that is probably why your wife cheated on you. I’m not saying what she did was the right thing. Most people that cheat are cowards for not telling the person in the first place but it sounds like you gave her a reason to do it.
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