i dont want to like her

[idkwtd]

im a 17 year old guy and im in 12th grade. i have a friend who is a girl and she has a boyfriend that goes to another school. the girl and me are really good friends. we always text and we talk at school and we sit together at lunch and we sometimes hang out on weekinds. the problem i have is that i really like her a lot. i cant stop thinking about her. shes even in my dreams. how do i stop liking her? she has a boyfriend, though he goes to another school. i really like being this girls friend but i cant stop liking her. i know im not supposed to like her because she already has a bf. even if she didnt have one she still wouldnt like me like i like her cuz im not to bright, brave, or fit. how can i stop liking her but still be her friends?

[sexibabidoll]

Try and distance yourself from her little by little. starts hanging out with other people. Be smart with whatever you decided to do cause I dont want you to end up hurting her and makes her feel like crap if you just completely ignoring her.

[idkwtd]

ive tryed. when we are walking with other friends i try to make sure im not walking right next to her but once she notices she moves to walk right next to me.

[MightySunTzu]

Originally Posted by idkwtd

even if she didnt have one she still wouldnt like me like i like her cuz im not to bright, brave, or fit. how can i stop liking her but still be her friends?

Originally Posted by idkwtd

ive tryed. when we are walking with other friends i try to make sure im not walking right next to her but once she notices she moves to walk right next to me.

Hey idk,

What qualities in you do you think she does like?... because she does seem to like you a lot at least as a friend. You're sure she's looking for bright, brave and fit in a romantic interest and that she sees you as not possessing these qualities? Out of curiosity, how did you become friends?

[idkwtd]

we became friends when one day at our school i was telling people about a concert i went to and i told this one girl i knew and the other girl heard me and she saied she had gone to the same concert. after that i found out that she likes the same music as me and likes to cook like me. i know the kind of guy she likes cuz when we where sitting together at lunch a kid came over and jokingly said her type of guy has one that looked like a cow because cows are her favorite animal and she took it seriasly and said her type of guy was strong, athletic, tall, brave, good looking, fun to be around, smart, and likes the same kind of music as her. im definatly not strong, smart, athletic, brave, or good looking. we are really good friends and i wouldnt want to lose her as a friend but i really would like to stop liking her and thinking about her.

[bigsexyteddybear]

Man to me it sounds like you really don't want to stop liking her! It sound like you want her to dump her boyfriend and be with you and like u the same way u like her but you already have that as an impossibilty in your mind! but It very well could happen! I mean it sound like she already likes you! I mean when you tried not walking with her she notice and made it a point to ask u to walk beside her! and she probly said she wanted that type of guy right then because she was imbaressed but even then, in the middle of what she was saying she said she wanted a guy with the same type music and was fun to be around & she loves hanging out with you and you both have the same taste in music so that could of been a hint! plus just because you don't see yourself as strong and stuff doesn't mean she see you the same way! She may see you as attactive and strong and really like you! and to be honest, to me, it sounds like she does! and it sounds like she's been dropping u hints but your too judgmental of yourself so you've been missing them! and lets face it man, I've been in your shoes, when you like or love someone you can't help it! So just sit her down & tell her u have something very important to tell her & make her promise that no matter what it you can't let it ruin our friendship! then tell her exactly how you feel and ask her if she feels the same! If she says yes then you have yourself a girlfriend and if she said no (and I promise if she does say no she'll be really sweet& nice about it) then you can just keep being friends! but at least you'll never have to spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?" & don't feel bad about her having a boyfriend cuz long distance relationships never work when ur young anyway plus if she really want to be with him she'll just tell you no but if she wants to be with you like it sound she does she'll leave him for you but It won't be your falt, it would be hers for liking you! so don't feel bad! Its not like your dating her while she's with him! anyways I say go for it and Good Luck!

[BillyTheAdult]

I don't have any specific advice about what you should do per se. But I wanted to say that it is natural to be attracted to a girl (or whoever) and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I agree that sometimes we like people that maybe it would be better for us if we didn't, like if someone is in love with someone who is abusive towards them. But these situations should be worked with from within the framework of accepting that attraction is natural and innate and you are never bad for feeling the way you feel, it is just that there are other circumstance that sometimes make it a less desirable situation.

I would also encourage you to put your own needs first. There is no need to change or censor your own behavior because of a perceived need on her part, such as not walking next to her, or even the belief I am not supposed to like her. Worry about you and let her take care of herself, if she is uncomfortable walking next to you (or whatever other circumstance)
she can remove herself. You are projecting a perceived need on her part and then trying to fill it (by removing yourself oddly enough) in order to earn her approval because you don't feel good enough for it just being who you are. Learn to recognize this now, and perhaps find some books on self esteem, confidence, having a positive attitude, because trying to buy others love through actions, will lead to a lifetime of pain. Try to realize that no matter what you do, even if you make some big mistakes you are always worthy of love.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by idkwtd

im a 17 year old guy and im in 12th grade. i have a friend who is a girl and she has a boyfriend that goes to another school. the girl and me are really good friends. we always text and we talk at school and we sit together at lunch and we sometimes hang out on weekinds. the problem i have is that i really like her a lot. i cant stop thinking about her. shes even in my dreams. how do i stop liking her? she has a boyfriend, though he goes to another school. i really like being this girls friend but i cant stop liking her. i know im not supposed to like her because she already has a bf. even if she didnt have one she still wouldnt like me like i like her cuz im not to bright, brave, or fit. how can i stop liking her but still be her friends?

No one is "owned" by another. Don't let your logic get in the way of your heart.

And you can't stop what is given to you by nature. Attraction is beautiful, not ugly. It's life! Enjoy it!

Is she interested in you? Or are you "just friends" in her eyes?

This is an excellent book on intimacy and people being an object... Online Store - Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other

[scotthegeek]

get your self a girl friend. If you have never had a girlfriends before its something that will help you discover and understand dating like nothing else will do.

Love Friendship and sex is very confusing at times and I'm just starting to figure it out but I still feel confused at time.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by idkwtd

how can i stop liking her but still be her friends?

You can't, because then your relationship will be based on self-imposed limitations. A relationship should expand your existence, not restrict it. A restrictive relationship is a bad one, ipso facto not friendly.

[el insoportable]

haha, its ok to be attracted to her even if she has a bf. and it doesn't matter if you aren't tall, brave, or whatever she thinks she wants. what the point of "how to stop liking her"? this looks like you want to quit without even trying

[scotthegeek]

the more time a spend feeling like know one would want me the less I feel like trying but when I started reading on the forums the more I realized I'm not alone you sound like a normal teenager that wants to be loved but is so stuck on one girl feel that is your only option. I can love several girls at the same put that creates another problem all together.

You never said if you have dated or had a girlfriend before?