delusions without schizophrenia?!

[raineydaze]

i dont know if this is the right place to post this. and i don't know if anybody will be able to answer.
i am thinking about starting a full relationship with somebody i have been seeing for a while. a few weeks ago he started telling me that he had got in too deep with some people where he lived and that his life was in danger, that it was with the people who lived underneath him. kept telling me he needed to get out of the city, and he did in the end and went to stay at his dads.
the other day i spoke to his girlfriend (a whole other story, he is going to leave her for me so id prefer no comment on this, she knows about us.) anyway she told me that the whole thing was not true, that it was all in his head, that the people who lived below them were a nice couple with a baby. one night in the middle of the night he got her up, forced her out of the house thinking people were coming to kill him, and made her jump over fences and bushes for THREE hours. he was put into a mental ward for a couple of days, although he never told me this.
ive also just remembered a time a while ago, when he got in a fight with someone. they started on him, and he hit them and knocked them out. i remember dragging him away, because they were going to ring the police and i remember him saying something like 'theyre all after me now, theres loads of them' when in the situation at hand it was not nor would be like that at all.
ive been reading up on paranoid schitzophrenia, and i was wondering if anybody knows whether you can get these types of delusions without being schhizophrenic, u know, maybe being under alot of stress? this doesnt put me off being with him at all btw, i love and care for him deeply i would just like to know if anyone has any experience in the matter...

[raineydaze]

Ive actually been reading up more on it, and he did say that they said he was psychotic, and ive just read that you can have psychotic delusions which arent permanant...still wondering if anyone has been in a relationship or knows much about this...

[RonSouther]

Does he repress a ton of feelings then explode?

I bet he's actually really intelligent but possibly doesn't think much of himself?

[SkylightMT]

He has a thought disorder (e.g. schizophrenia, paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar disorder with psychotic features, schizoaffective disorder, psychotic disorder NOS, etc. One of those will fit). Also fits under the broad label psychotic disorder.

Once a person has a psychotic break, the psychotic breaks tend to come easier, and closer together. That is, it takes less stress to cause the second psychotic episode than it did to cause the first, and so on. That is one of the reasons they recommend starting anti-psychotic medication early, to prevent future breaks, in hopes that the psychotic episodes won't happen so often that they become medication-resistant or that a person's functioning is severely impaired.

Having a thought disorder doesn't automatically mean a person is dangerous, either. However, the fact that he got into a fight while having a psychotic episode does not bode well. A lot will depend on his ability to trust you to tell him what the truth is, and rely on you to let him know when what he is experiencing isn't based in reality. If he can have that level of insight, then its very possible the relationship can work well.

There are many wonderful people who make great partners or boyfriends or girlfriends who also happen to have a psychotic disorder. It sounds like you love him and he loves you. I wouldn't automatically dismiss the possibility of a healthy relationship just because he has a thought disorder. But I would take a long, good look at how that disorder manifests - does he get aggressive or so paranoid he would fight back? Will he take medication as prescribed? If you tell him his symptoms are getting worse and he needs to have his meds re-evaluated, will he trust you and do what you suggest?

[raineydaze]

ron, im not too sure about the emotion and then exploding, but he has had a very messed up past and i know there must be ALOT of repressed emotion under there somewhere. hes never exploded or been any sort of nasty or violent towards me.
but what you said about him being very intelligent is true - and i know that even though he sometimes acts like he doesnt he has a very low self esteem, he ALWAYS(yes ALWAYS) wears a beanie hat, its like his comfort blanket or soemthing.
skylight, i dont think he was having a psychotic episode when he got into the fight, it just seemed like afterwards he got overly paranoid that there was loads of people after him, when it wasnt like that at all and had no reason to think it. he never told me he was put into a mental ward, he told me about how he thought his life was in danger etc, and then next time i saw him he was saying things like 'they think im psychotic, maybe i am going psychotic but anyone would be psychotic if they had all these people after them and constantly thought they were gonna be killed' which i guess says that he still believed the delusion.
i havent seen him since i heard, and id rather not ask him about it over the phone, we are going to talk about our relationship when we next meet up so im going to carefully bring it up then. but what do i do if he just still believes it? i mean im willing to support him 100% but i dont know how id go about it if he believes these delusions 100%? i wasnt there at the time so i cant exactly disprove it, i mean would i have to wait until he had another one just to carefully point out its not true??i dont know if they put him on any meds, i think im going to talk to his brother a bit more about it as he probably knows more than me right now.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by raineydaze

ron, im not too sure about the emotion and then exploding, but he has had a very messed up past and i know there must be ALOT of repressed emotion under there somewhere. hes never exploded or been any sort of nasty or violent towards me.
but what you said about him being very intelligent is true - and i know that even though he sometimes acts like he doesnt he has a very low self esteem, he ALWAYS(yes ALWAYS) wears a beanie hat, its like his comfort blanket or soemthing.
skylight, i dont think he was having a psychotic episode when he got into the fight, it just seemed like afterwards he got overly paranoid that there was loads of people after him, when it wasnt like that at all and had no reason to think it. he never told me he was put into a mental ward, he told me about how he thought his life was in danger etc, and then next time i saw him he was saying things like 'they think im psychotic, maybe i am going psychotic but anyone would be psychotic if they had all these people after them and constantly thought they were gonna be killed' which i guess says that he still believed the delusion.
i havent seen him since i heard, and id rather not ask him about it over the phone, we are going to talk about our relationship when we next meet up so im going to carefully bring it up then. but what do i do if he just still believes it? i mean im willing to support him 100% but i dont know how id go about it if he believes these delusions 100%? i wasnt there at the time so i cant exactly disprove it, i mean would i have to wait until he had another one just to carefully point out its not true??i dont know if they put him on any meds, i think im going to talk to his brother a bit more about it as he probably knows more than me right now.

Can you see if he'll read these articles....a couple I wrote and another was written by a friend that went through psychosis.
ADHD Self Help - A Story of Healing - Profound-Self-Help.com
Living With Bipolar Disorder - An Alternative View - Profound-Self-Help.com
Bipolar 1 Disorder with Sean Blackwell - Profound-Self-Help.com

Highly intelligent people are thought to be retarded by the masses that don't recognize higher thinking. And that highly intelligenct person doesn't see this and instead gets takes the daily rejection by society as a value statement. He gets a negative belief system about himself. It becomes like a religion and no one can tell him differently.

On top of that, he sees all the contradictions around him and in him and this confusion is horrible, leading to escapism to try to trick the mind into relaxation. All the addictions and misused sex are part of this escape.

The first article share my story of this process of confusion to clarity, from self-loathing to self-acceptance. It was THE turning point in my life to see the real problem.

[SkylightMT]

Originally Posted by raineydaze

but what do i do if he just still believes it? i mean im willing to support him 100% but i dont know how id go about it if he believes these delusions 100%? i wasnt there at the time so i cant exactly disprove it, i mean would i have to wait until he had another one just to carefully point out its not true??i dont know if they put him on any meds, i think im going to talk to his brother a bit more about it as he probably knows more than me right now.

I think the best tactic is to work on developing trust, rather than confronting him about reality vs. non-reality. You be true to your own reality, but don't try to talk him out of what he perceives as his reality. Being true to your own reality means you say things like:

"I can see that you are really scared of those people right now. I don't see those people in the same way that you do and I am not scared of them. What would make you feel safe right now?"

But you really only get into these kinds of conversations when he is experiencing something that other people aren't, or perceiving a situation in a way most other people would not.

As for talking to him about the past psychotic break, I don't think you should try to get him to process that previous event. He probably has some confusion about it, and has probably been forced to talk about it so much that he just digs himself deeper into the position that "my life was in danger." You can't talk him out of his version of events. You can't use logic with a person to dissuade them of their hallucinations or paranoia. It would be better to simply talk to him about how he is feeling now: "Are you still frightened? Do you feel your life is in danger right now? Who are these people?" And then move on to: "What can I do to help you feel safe?" if he is still paranoid. If he is not frightened and can say, "I'm not sure what happened, but I feel safe now" that is probably the best answer you can get right now; in that case, all you really need to do is be supportive of him, continue to develop trust, and be watchful for an increase in delusional or paranoid statements.

Its understandable that you would want reassurance that this was a one-time event and it is not likely to happen again, but he is not the person who will be able to provide you that reassurance. He simply cannot. Even if its true, he has no way to know that.

It is not that easy to get a diagnosis of psychosis or a psychotic disorder. Psychiatrists these days are far, far more likely to suspect temporary drug-induced psychosis or an Axis II disorder with psychotic features. If he has gotten a diagnosis of psychosis, the psychiatrist had good reasons for making the diagnosis, since its considered a progressive and chronic disorder that they will not give arbitrarily.

[raineydaze]

thank you so much for your replies. ron i will read the articles later tonight, i am meeting him this week so i shall be careful with what i say to him about it. thanks guys x