Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

[Lychee]

Actually, I like geeks. Simple guys are attractive to some girls.

Geeks are alone because girls are drawn to the "macho" guy who looks strong and manly. As Trina said, some girls don't know what they want (but some guys don't know either.)

I personally like quiet guys. Serious men are attractive and I find guys who are very extraverted and active are too much for me. Again, it's about knowing what you want. I don't mind if a guy dresses geeky or nerdy. Don't have an unkempt appearance but a person's style is a part of who they are.

The thing with most guys is that if he is blessed with good looks, he will have girls hitting on him and that'll just inflate his ego. That's why the "handsome" ones are the "jerks." With geeks, they don't care for much for the external so the focus is internal.

I think I can empathize with you guys since I'm a girl and a geek. I'm comfortable with who I am but it feels good to be attractive and to have guys interested in you.

elainevdw- where'd you find your awesome, nerdy hubby?

[Radical]

Originally Posted by Lychee

The thing with most guys is that if he is blessed with good looks, he will have girls hitting on him and that'll just inflate his ego. That's why the "handsome" ones are the "jerks." With geeks, they don't care for much for the external so the focus is internal.

I don't totally agree with this, it all depends on your life experiences. Also, if a guy is handsome and intelligent, then he will likely suffer the problem of being shy and scared of all the superficial girls only interested in one thing. Combined with the problem of people expecting him to have plenty of self-confidence.

[elainevdw]

Originally Posted by Lychee

Actually, I like geeks. Simple guys are attractive to some girls.

I would disagree and say that no man is simple, lol! I could even contend that geeks are even more complicated than the normal male.

Originally Posted by Lychee

elainevdw- where'd you find your awesome, nerdy hubby?

Ha, well, it's a funny story. The short version: A mutual friend introduced us in college. (We went to a Japanese festival on campus together.)

The longer version: He had a total crush on this mutual friend of ours, but she a) wasn't interested, and b) was, unbeknownst to us at the time, agoraphobic. He started asking me to go do stuff together because he figured that, if I came along, he could lure our friend that he had a crush on to go out, too. Well, being agorophobic, she rarely came along, so he and I spent some real quality time together. I found out later that I was one of the first girls that was ever nice to him. (His prom date skipped town without telling him, for example.)

That's actually how most guys have gotten crushes on me. They were always these geeky guys that everybody was mean to, but even if I didn't like them, I was always nice to them. (I just don't understand mean people.) Funny how a little kindness goes a long way. The thing that made my guy stand out from the rest of the geeks was a combination of his self-confidence and our shared corny sense of humor.

I always felt a really good, positive vibe from him, though, too. He's actually the only guy that I've dated. There were a few guys I wouldn't have minded dating, but I didn't get that vibe from them, that we could have a great relationship that was either long-term or destined to end on a good note (and for various, reasons short-term, destined-to-end-badly relationships just never seemed worth it to me). With my current boyfriend, I knew I could happily marry him about a month before we started dating for real. (Runs in my family -- my grandpa proposed to my grandma on their first date. She said no, of course, but he was a persistent bugger!) For clarification, we're not married yet; we've been together 5 years and are planning on getting married in another 2-3.

That's my story; regret asking? A girl just loves to gush!

[Brien]

Originally Posted by Radical

"...Every man is a mob, a chain gang of idiots."

Nice quote. Every man (and woman) is much more complicated than the sum of what your senses give you at the moment when you first meet them.

Again, I think this whole "date a geek" thing is kinda pointless, aside for providing a fun topic of conversation. Generalizing can be useful, but not in this case (because we're neglecting to even define what group we're generalizing!). "Geeks" can be egotistical jerks with emotional issues to overcome just as much as anyone else. They do not magically transform into perfect people just by dating you. It really smacks of ego-feeding.

To tell you the truth, I get the impression that the most attractive qualities for most of these women (men too) is desperation and inexperience. Calling it "geekiness" is a cute non-offensive sugarcoat. An easy, safe way to objectify those you know you could have if you wanted.

[elainevdw]

Originally Posted by Brien

To tell you the truth, I get the impression that the most attractive qualities for most of these women (men too) is desperation and inexperience. Calling it "geekiness" is a cute non-offensive sugarcoat. An easy, safe way to objectify those you know you could have if you wanted.

Nah, I think it comes down to similar interests. A guy could have any number of datable qualities, but when it comes right down to it, a girl's going to date somebody that likes a lot of the same things she does.

And as far as "desperation," if I guy wasn't at least a teensy bit "desperate" for a girlfriend, they wouldn't be looking in the first place, would they?

And yeah, I agree that generalizations aren't very useful, but this is fun!

[Baltar]

Originally Posted by elainevdw

That's actually how most guys have gotten crushes on me. They were always these geeky guys that everybody was mean to, but even if I didn't like them, I was always nice to them. (I just don't understand mean people.) Funny how a little kindness goes a long way.

Yep, I've had crushes on quite a few girls that were nice to me. That's why you have to be careful though -- many guys can confuse courteous friendliness for specific interest in them. I know better now, but when I was younger I was very guilty of this.

And by the way, as you can probably tell by my new signature, I'm a geek and proud of it!