When a love ends

[A mammt]

Hi, i'm from italy,sorry for my bad english but i hope i'll increase my english level by posting on this forum. I'm writing to know how can i put an end to my love for a person who simply doesn't love me. I feel depressed and everything in my life seems meaningless, i spend my day thinking how beautiful was our relationship and I can't study, my university carrer is just stopped and i feel i have lot of things to do to be ok again. Some advices?

[RonSouther]

He (or is it a she?) may have lost his love for you. There is nothing unnatural about that and it is not a reflection about your value. It simply is the nature of love and reveals that the two of you were not a strong enough natural match to continue.

Love yourself enough to let go of him. The beautiful memories are a gift, but not a destiny. More to come as you get to know other people.

"Love" is a combination of the wholeness you feel and the neediness that you depend upon him to fulfill. It feels good to give to another and where we are needy, it feels good to get from the other.

The neediness is the unhealthy part of the relating and really is what changes in a couple. If he was with you for a particular need that he doesn't need anymore, then that's where you find yourself all of a sudden unneeded, unloved.

What you need more than anything in your life is the ability to be content alone....no emotional neediness of anyone. In that way your gift of love is pure and never possessive.

When your love is pure of dependency, then your "emotions" change...they won't be emotions anymore. Depression is an emotion of the mind when the mind isn't getting what it wants. Infatuation is another emotion of getting what it wants. Happiness too. This rollercoaster is mental.

With pure love, there's a deep gratitude of being able to share unconditionally with another and a sadness when you have so much to share but no one to receive. You're still good with life, not dependent or depressed, just eager to share.

Totally different. When you're "love" contains mental dependencies, you're depressed when you don't get for yourself. When your love is pure, you're sad when you can't give of yourself.

This is an outstanding book if you can find it.

Online Store - Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other

Or search this library for free about love... Explore the Osho Online Library

[BillieAnn]

Originally Posted by A mammt

Hi, i'm from italy,sorry for my bad english but i hope i'll increase my english level by posting on this forum. I'm writing to know how can i put an end to my love for a person who simply doesn't love me. I feel depressed and everything in my life seems meaningless, i spend my day thinking how beautiful was our relationship and I can't study, my university carrer is just stopped and i feel i have lot of things to do to be ok again. Some advices?

Just for beginning, start to learn how to release him from you, inside!
Practise your breathing, when you release air try to release the love and the pain .. it will go .. trust me!

[A mammt]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

He (or is it a she?) may have lost his love for you. There is nothing unnatural about that and it is not a reflection about your value. It simply is the nature of love and reveals that the two of you were not a strong enough natural match to continue.

Love yourself enough to let go of him. The beautiful memories are a gift, but not a destiny. More to come as you get to know other people.

"Love" is a combination of the wholeness you feel and the neediness that you depend upon him to fulfill. It feels good to give to another and where we are needy, it feels good to get from the other.

The neediness is the unhealthy part of the relating and really is what changes in a couple. If he was with you for a particular need that he doesn't need anymore, then that's where you find yourself all of a sudden unneeded, unloved.

What you need more than anything in your life is the ability to be content alone....no emotional neediness of anyone. In that way your gift of love is pure and never possessive.

When your love is pure of dependency, then your "emotions" change...they won't be emotions anymore. Depression is an emotion of the mind when the mind isn't getting what it wants. Infatuation is another emotion of getting what it wants. Happiness too. This rollercoaster is mental.

With pure love, there's a deep gratitude of being able to share unconditionally with another and a sadness when you have so much to share but no one to receive. You're still good with life, not dependent or depressed, just eager to share.

Totally different. When you're "love" contains mental dependencies, you're depressed when you don't get for yourself. When your love is pure, you're sad when you can't give of yourself.

This is an outstanding book if you can find it.

Online Store - Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other

Or search this library for free about love... Explore the Osho Online Library

Woa, I've really appreciated your words. I feel good reading it: it seems right, but hard to achieve. So should i work on myself to go through this heavy love? It's very difficoult for me because it's my first love and definitively my first real approach to my sexuality.

[A mammt]

Originally Posted by BillieAnn

Just for beginning, start to learn how to release him from you, inside!
Practise your breathing, when you release air try to release the love and the pain .. it will go .. trust me!

Have you some articles i can read about this? I'll surely try!

[BillieAnn]

Originally Posted by A mammt

Have you some articles i can read about this? I'll surely try!

I tell you from experience .. as I went through the same

[veragarcia]

" Where there is great love there are always miracles." - Willa Cather

[Ishh]

Hello A mammt

I am going through same thing...
I think this might help...
Wish you luck in coping up..........
http://www.lightworkermag.com/pdf/July.pdf

[A mammt]

Thank you all. It's a very difficoult period of my life i hope everything will finish soon, even if i'm still waitinig for his message or to see him at my door, but i know it won't go in this way.

Thanks for the link Ishh, i'm reading.

[Ishh]

I got the book Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other by OSHO
I will be reading it soon after I finish the novel I am reading now... I just cant wait to start it... Mostly I will start on Monday...

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Ishh

I got the book Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other by OSHO
I will be reading it soon after I finish the novel I am reading now... I just cant wait to start it... Mostly I will start on Monday...

AWESOME!!! That book is really special to me!

[Ishh]

You deserve to be with someone who compliments you, who treats you like royalty and lifts you up with great gentleness when you are down. You could call this other person your best friend, dream lover... What is really stopping you from being open to this possibility?

Often the negative unhealed experiences from the past will block your heart from opening again to trust in love. This fear can create a protective wall around your heart that may blind you from seeing if your soul mate was standing right in front of you. If your heart is still holding onto previous wounds and negative memories from past relationships, you might feel that it's TOO dangerous to trust in love and think its safer to hide behind this wall. The interesting thing is that the walls that are formed around the heart will numb the feelings of pain AND any sensation of being loved. These inner walls block both the positive and negative feelings, leaving you completely unable to have a personal intimate relationship. When this occurs there is only one way out. The key is to let down your guard, be real with yourself and trust the healing process of loving you just as you are.

Even though you are a sensitive being and may not think you have a steel blockade around your heart, you can always choose to practice letting in even more love. The melting and healing of the smallest self-sabotaging thoughts that arise can allow for buckets of deep joy to pour into your heart. One of the greatest keys to manifesting an enlightened loving being is radical honesty with yourself. Ask yourself, "How far along am I on my spiritual path?". One simple gauge for this is noticing the level of compassion you have for yourself, your beloved, and everyone else in the world. If you have tremendous love, respect and gentleness with yourself, you are making it 1000 times easier for others to find love for you. A heart overflowing with constant compassion for yourself and others becomes a giant magnet for attracting that enlightened divine lover from your outer world. The greatest blessing of all, is when this inner gentleness becomes a addictive habit, and you become the healing master of your life.

I am taking help from angels for this task... I listen to audio of Doreen Virtue called Angel Therapy meditation... Its for all obstacles that I have... It might be possible that some thing else may suit you... Good Luck

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Ishh

The greatest blessing of all, is when this inner gentleness becomes a addictive habit, and you become the healing master of your life.

Awesome....it's an addiction that ends all addictions....it's an addiction to giving unconditionally which is creative and not destruction!