Two German girls are coming to my house

[wanzulfikri]

Well, for starters, I am not that good with girls because I had been schooled in a boys school for my secondary education. What should I talk about since I am not that good with talking to foreigners?

[Jillfisher]

Talk about you and what you like. If they are foreigners they might like to know some things about your country and see some places.

[Agota]

I assume it's either Couchsuring or Hospitality Club?

1. Treat them the same way you'd treat other guests in your house (that's assuming you treat guests nicely ).

2. Give them clean towels and bedsheets or blankets if they need them. Most travelers have their own towels and sleeping bags, though.

3. Make sure to be respectful to their privacy. Knock before going into the room they're staying in, so you'd avoid awkward situations like walking in on a girl without a bra

4. Talk to them about your country and about their country. That usually gets the conversation going.

5. You can offer to take them out with your friends to a local pub/club/attraction if you're not busy with work etc.

6. Really, be very cautious with anything of sexual nature, like do not make dirty jokes, don't offer to do massages, don't get into physical contact if you weren't invited and don't hit on them unless they're clearly into you. Girls who stay in strangers houses while travelling have their guards up and if you send mixed signals, they might think you're creep in the best case and stab a pen in your eye in worst case (yes, people can mistake your intention to cuddle for a sexual assault).

[Alice Hive]

Originally Posted by Agota

I assume it's either Couchsuring or Hospitality Club?

1. Treat them the same way you'd treat other guests in your house (that's assuming you treat guests nicely ).

2. Give them clean towels and bedsheets or blankets if they need them. Most travelers have their own towels and sleeping bags, though.

3. Make sure to be respectful to their privacy. Knock before going into the room they're staying in, so you'd avoid awkward situations like walking in on a girl without a bra

4. Talk to them about your country and about their country. That usually gets the conversation going.

5. You can offer to take them out with your friends to a local pub/club/attraction if you're not busy with work etc.

6. Really, be very cautious with anything of sexual nature, like do not make dirty jokes, don't offer to do massages, don't get into physical contact if you weren't invited and don't hit on them unless they're clearly into you. Girls who stay in strangers houses while travelling have their guards up and if you send mixed signals, they might think you're creep in the best case and stab a pen in your eye in worst case (yes, people can mistake your intention to cuddle for a sexual assault).

Very good tips here!

[Bradshaw]

Originally Posted by wanzulfikri

Well, for starters, I am not that good with girls because I had been schooled in a boys school for my secondary education. What should I talk about since I am not that good with talking to foreigners?

Talk about their lives: What school did they go to? What do they think of the world? What are their dreams? What to they want to do? Do they like teddy bears? Questions invite even more questions, and soon you'll have a nice conversation with most people.

Originally Posted by Agota

Really, be very cautious with anything of sexual nature, like do not make dirty jokes, don't offer to do massages, don't get into physical contact if you weren't invited and don't hit on them unless they're clearly into you. Girls who stay in strangers houses while travelling have their guards up and if you send mixed signals, they might think you're creep in the best case and stab a pen in your eye in worst case (yes, people can mistake your intention to cuddle for a sexual assault).

That would be overreacting. Even slapping would be an overreaction.

They may feel uncomfortable, and if they do they'll either state it, tell you to back off, or push you away.

I find that only woman who are deep down afraid of men will actually behave in such... defensive ways.

It reminds me of Andrew Gubb's previous roommate. It was this french girl. I went to his house and I remember just being completely put off by her and instantly repelled. When she talked and interacted with other women she was perfectly normal, but when she was with men, she was so incredibly defensive, like walking on eggshells. It's like she was already predisposed to be wary, cautious, defensive and suspicious of men.

I've done lots of massages to random women and they all loved it. It's a great way to connect, not a pen-to-eyeball attractor, lol.

[Agota]

Originally Posted by Bradshaw

Talk about their lives: What school did they go to? What do they think of the world? What are their dreams? What to they want to do? Do they like teddy bears? Questions invite even more questions, and soon you'll have a nice conversation with most people.



That would be overreacting. Even slapping would be an overreaction.

They may feel uncomfortable, and if they do they'll either state it, tell you to back off, or push you away.

I find that only woman who are deep down afraid of men will actually behave in such... defensive ways.

It reminds me of Andrew Gubb's previous roommate. It was this french girl. I went to his house and I remember just being completely put off by her and instantly repelled. When she talked and interacted with other women she was perfectly normal, but when she was with men, she was so incredibly defensive, like walking on eggshells. It's like she was already predisposed to be wary, cautious, defensive and suspicious of men.

I've done lots of massages to random women and they all loved it. It's a great way to connect, not a pen-to-eyeball attractor, lol.

It obviously would be over-reacting, but as I said, girls who are travelling alone have their guards up and you never know what kind of ♥♥♥♥ they had to go through in the past, so it's better to be safe than sorry when hosting someone you don't know. Someone who was raped before but is trying to get back to normal might easily mistake a normal guy making a move or simply being friendly with sexual assault and snap like that. Most people wouldn't think about this, but as a martial artist, I have this habit of evaluating situations, that's why I included this

I made an emphasis on being cautious with anything of sexual nature because if this is a first time hosting someone wanzulfikri should be aware of that, especially since he mentioned that he's not that good with girls and guys who are not very good with girls might come off as creepy without no bad intentions whatsoever simply because they tense and don't know how to act around women.

Oh, and massages, it's simply that many girls might mistake offering a massage for trying to get them into bed (..clearly, many guys mistake saying yes to massage for saying yes to sex and then get confused as well). I remember reading a profile of one guy who had a very negative review from a girl he hosted, who called him a creep and wasn't impressed with his massage offers.

Again, note that poster doesn't have much experience with women NOR with hosting, so what would be obvious to you, might not be so obvious to him, that's why it's worth mentioning

Just for the record, I like massages and do not consider guys who offer a massage to be creeps, nor would I slap (or pen-stab ) a guy who would try to make a move, assuming he understands word no

[Agota]

It reminds me of Andrew Gubb's previous roommate. It was this french girl. I went to his house and I remember just being completely put off by her and instantly repelled. When she talked and interacted with other women she was perfectly normal, but when she was with men, she was so incredibly defensive, like walking on eggshells. It's like she was already predisposed to be wary, cautious, defensive and suspicious of men.

Women like that annoy me as well, to be honest. I know some women who express disgust when men are attracted to hot women (because clearly, women are not attracted to hot men), are repulsed by the fact that women in Hollywood movies are hot because sex sells and men like to fantasize about hot women (because clearly, Brad Pitt's success has nothing to do with how hot he is and how many girls have fantasies about him) and are terrified by male masturbation because men are just animals (because clearly women never masturbate). Then, women with this "men are animals and we are pure angel-like beings" attitudes wonder why they can't get a guy.

However, usually attitudes like that come from sexual trauma experienced either by women holding these attitudes (whether in this or past life) or sexual trauma experienced by female relatives that unconsciously pass this onto young girls, so as hilarious as these attitudes might seem on the outside, it usually indicates very serious underlying issues.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by wanzulfikri

Two German girls are coming to my house

"Coming to my house" is pretty damn vague.

What's the occasion?

[wanzulfikri]

Thanks for the tips, everyone. Now I might have something to say to them.

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

"Coming to my house" is pretty damn vague.

What's the occasion?

There are coming here because of a program called as AFS. The Chapter Leader who is should be organizing the event said that the two girls need to have a place to stay for two days until their host family will take them in.

[hervens]

Ohh my, I can only imagine how many guys wished they were in your place right now =p
Whatever you do, just try to relax, and be natural. Just go with the flow. You might also want to practice some of Eckart Tolle's teachings, just to try to be a little more "grounded".

I know Agota mentionned not to go too far, and I completely agree with her. But hey, a little flirting here and there sure can't hurt! You need to spice things up, at least a little, as long as you're not receiving any negative signals

And also, watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JYxr...eature=related

And watch it to the end. Hillarious! Reminds me of me and my friends (theres no nudity or anything, despite the title)
Might help to put you in the mood, but also show there's always a dark side.. :p

[aelle]

Ooh, AFS rocks! Third generation AFSer here (my grandparents started hosting in the 60s), it's a brilliant program
For other posters, AFS is geared at middle school & high school students, so in all likelihood, considerations of flirting, sexual tension and possible hookup are off the table.

If they're taking part in this program, surely they are interested in experiencing a new culture, so that makes a great topic of conversation. Ask them how the stuff they are experiencing with you and your family differs from how things are done in Germany. Offer to answer their questions about your culture, your daily life, your education, your hobbies...

Mostly though, if it's the first 2 days of their program they will likely be tired from the flight and maybe a bit overwhelmed (how young are they? is it their first time abroad?) so give them some space. Don't feel like you need to be talking to them and entertaining them round the clock. Don't hover/hang around them if the conversation runs out, that's a bit creepy. At any time, you can simply say "Well, I'll let you catch some rest / settle / freshen up, I will be in the living room (or wherever) if you want to chat some more."
You might feel a bit self-conscious in your own home at first, especially if you are not used to hosting, but it will very likely go away quickly. Enjoy!