So, I've been invited to a party :(

[tatemae]

I should feel good that I've been invited -- I've been putting out vibes that I want to be more social for a few weeks now -- it is just that ...

... bluntly, I'm not interesting :( The girl who invited me to the party interprets my reticence to talk about myself as my being mysterious, rather than my having little to talk about :(

I'd rather not decline the invitation, but I'd also rather not be a social liability :(

[Angela]

Why not try hypnosis!

Life of the party hypnosis

[Prinie]

A social liability......this could be the chance you've been waiting for to shine! Your "magic moment" to change that thing you wanted to change and thank goodness you said yes, right? You just took the first step to changing your reality.

[tatemae]

@Angela: thank you, I'll investigate that link -- although at present I'm undergoing hypnosis for a different issue ...

@Prinie: I wish I could share your optimism ;) It is just that the last time I attended anything like this ... well, it was in part responsible for my stepping back from society :/

[Prinie]

Originally Posted by tatemae

@Angela: thank you, I'll investigate that link -- although at present I'm undergoing hypnosis for a different issue ...

@Prinie: I wish I could share your optimism It is just that the last time I attended anything like this ... well, it was in part responsible for my stepping back from society :/

Yeah, I'm almost the eternal optimist but I am also a realist. Here you are seeking to reintegrate yourself back into society and you've been given this wonderful opportunity to do so, you know? You didn't die from the first experience and I'm sure that even if you can't put it into words, you have more understanding of what happened that led to your step back. "The secret to success is to fall down 7 times and get up 8".

Anyways, I'm rooting for you.

[tatemae]

Originally Posted by Prinie

Here you are seeking to reintegrate yourself back into society and you've been given this wonderful opportunity to do so, you know?

Yeah -- I just don't want to screw it up by being ... well, me ...

[Prinie]

Originally Posted by tatemae

Yeah -- I just don't want to screw it up by being ... well, me ...

That sounds like the best thing you can do. What do you think you might do? And what did you do to get invited in the first place?

[tatemae]

Originally Posted by Prinie

That sounds like the best thing you can do.

I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say? (Sorry!)

Originally Posted by Prinie

What do you think you might do?

As I mentioned in my first post, it isn't what I might or might not do, but what I am (to reiterate: uninteresting) ... that, and I do not know how to act in many -- most --- social situations :P

Originally Posted by Prinie

And what did you do to get invited in the first place?

Nothing ;) The girl who invited me -- a friend from school -- just messaged me.

[Prinie]

Well if you are uninteresting and you did nothing to make yourself interesting and yet still got invited to a party that's big, tate! Your "uninteresting" self got invited to a party just by being uninteresting. You got your foot in the door by being you. That is...uninteresting.

Originally Posted by tatemae

I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say? (Sorry!)



As I mentioned in my first post, it isn't what I might or might not do, but what I am (to reiterate: uninteresting) ... that, and I do not know how to act in many -- most --- social situations :P



Nothing The girl who invited me -- a friend from school -- just messaged me.

[Mikennick]

I have a plan for you. Find out who will be at the party. Then, go here and find out as much as you can about them. Use your newly acquired knowledge to dazzle them.

If nothing, you'll scare them and it is better to be scary then to be laughed at

[atwinky]

Originally Posted by Mikennick

I have a plan for you. Find out who will be at the party. Then, go here and find out as much as you can about them. Use your newly acquired knowledge to dazzle them.

If nothing, you'll scare them and it is better to be scary then to be laughed at

stop trolling

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by tatemae

I should feel good that I've been invited -- I've been putting out vibes that I want to be more social for a few weeks now -- it is just that ...

... bluntly, I'm not interesting The girl who invited me to the party interprets my reticence to talk about myself as my being mysterious, rather than my having little to talk about

I'd rather not decline the invitation, but I'd also rather not be a social liability

You either do or you don't!

[Albalida]

To my mind, "interesting" isn't a thing that you are. It isn't even something that you do.

It's a way that other people judge you. And, if someone thinks you're mysterious because you're quiet, and they're interested in the mystery, then whether you have a mystery or not doesn't matter. You are interesting, because they're interested. If you were uninteresting, they wouldn't notice you.

I would take this as a foot in the door, because parties are something you learn best by doing, let them get to know you-- so then it's not your continued deception, but their initial perception that was at fault. If, afterwards, they really do take you as eye-glazingly dull, at least you didn't reveal yourself to be a complete monster.

And, hey, they might not think you're dull. You must have some opinion on the latest music, movies, television shows, books, computer games? If you don't because you've lived in total sensory deprivation, that's still something new they'd like to hear about. If you don't because you haven't done anything to entertain yourself since the 90's, then yay let's all get nostalgic! Fighting with your parents? Can totally relate. Best friends with your parents? That's so cool, how did that happen! Buy clothes at brand name stores? Found yourself in with a clique. Buy clothes at thrift stores or as hand-me-downs? Found yourself in with hipsters. Science geek? We have a go-to person for fun trivia. Into personal development and exploring the boundaries between personal perception and what actually happens? Tell us more.

If you still don't want to talk, you don't have to. Somebody at any big enough party is bound to appreciate a good listener.

No one is totally not worth getting to know.

[tatemae]

@Moriarty: I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say? (Sorry!)

@Albalida: Thank you, that makes me feel a little better -- I suppose the issue is that if I were talking to a clone of myself, I feel I would find my clone uninteresting :P

[Angelique]

Hi, tatemae. Welcome to the forums.

What works for me is deciding to have a great time at a party, no matter what happens. Then, I show up, open to the experience along with the certainty that it's going to be fun and interesting.

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by tatemae

@Moriarty: I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say? (Sorry!)

Maybe I dont understand your OP. In the first sentence you say your putting out the social vibes. In the following sentence your saying your 'applying' has brought you results and now you dont want to move on them.

Thats why I said 'you either do or you dont'. Which is it to be, or why apply it in the first place?

[tatemae]

@Moriarty: Ah, I understand what you were saying now; to clarify, whilst I've been putting out vibes that I want to be more social, I'd rather not begin with a baptism by fire :P

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by tatemae

@Moriarty: Ah, I understand what you were saying now; to clarify, whilst I've been putting out vibes that I want to be more social, I'd rather not begin with a baptism by fire :P

LOL...fair enough!

[tatemae]

So, it seems that my angsting was a waste of time -- the day of the party has come and gone and I never received any messages from the girl after the message inviting me -- I'll assume either that the party was cancelled, or that they realised the folly of inviting me :P

[Faceless]

Originally Posted by tatemae

So, it seems that my angsting was a waste of time -- the day of the party has come and gone and I never received any messages from the girl after the message inviting me -- I'll assume either that the party was cancelled, or that they realised the folly of inviting me :P

*facepalm*

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by tatemae

So, it seems that my angsting was a waste of time -- the day of the party has come and gone and I never received any messages from the girl after the message inviting me -- I'll assume either that the party was cancelled, or that they realised the folly of inviting me :P

If this is your biggest worry then your life if looking pretty good at this stage.

[tatemae]

@Faceless: Yeah :P

@Moriarty: If only it were ... I have far, far greater worries -- this was just a more immediate worry :P