What makes a great relationship?

[ultimate]

This is my first real relationship (F*$@ knows what happened in my past)

I think I need to do other things to keep the relationship on a good level.

If you are or have been in a great relationship:
- What made it so great (what did you do, say to each other, experience?)
- If a past relationship went bad, why do you think it went bad/ended? what would you have done differently?

I just want to be at my best, make the relationship the best ever as I like my gf

[reekah]

Mutual respect, trust and support. IMO, once any or all of these factors is compromised, it leads to break-ups and divorces.

[GregD]

@ultimate
it only works when both sides always keep adding value and experiences into the relationship. one side always will fail.

@reekah
i'm not sure you are right. there are couples where both are busy with their completely separate lives and they just enjoy the chemistry together. There are also other elderly couples who are what I call "companions" and they dont necessarily trust/support one another. There are couples where there is no respect, just each side is gaining something they like in the relationship so they are happy, e.g. a hot babe and respect from friends for the man and lots of money for shopping and great life for the woman.

[nothuman]

I have no idea what makes a relationship work......other than when it does it is a thing of rare beauty....all the best bro

[VinceG]

Hehehe, you're finally starting to ask good questions, ultimate!

[aelle]

My partner truly is my best friend. As friends do, we make each other laugh, we understand each other, we find the other's interests fascinating, we trust each other, we believe the best of each other, we support each other, and generally enjoy being around one another.

On a more practical consideration, we do spend far more time together than people who are just friends do, so there are frictions. As a rule, whenever I feel annoyed by him I stop before bickering/picking a fight to consider why I feel that way. 95% of the time, the real reason is hunger, hormones, fatigue or work-related stress. Then I tell him that I feel stressed or whatever and apologize in advance if I am short, and could he kindly put away the peanut butter, please.

When he does something that genuinely bothers me, I push myself to bring it up, in a non-confrontational way and non-punishing way. What I mean by that is that I won't be cruel to him because I felt hurt, or I won't exhort apologies out of him, I just want him to hear me. That was way harder for me to learn than not picking fights. In past relationships I simply tended to bottle up and detach myself - I felt these were irreconcilable differences because I didn't put them on the table to be reconciliated.
These have happened 3 or 4 times in our 4 years together.

[bodi]

Originally Posted by reekah

Mutual respect, trust and support. IMO, once any or all of these factors is compromised, it leads to break-ups and divorces.

yep.