New To Forms, Thought Id give this a try

[kanda]

Hey everyone!

Although I have been reading steves articles for a few years now this is my first time joining the forums so I hope something construtive comes out of it.


Since it appears that most people post on here with issues they are facing, I suppose in this area I do not deviate much from other posters.

So if anyone has any advice that would be appreciated.

Ok, so I have been having difficulty my whole life with sharing with people my hobby (Which I hope soon to come out and work towards making it my profession...) I write and record music and have been doing it the past 10 years or so but not really telling anyone, and I ahve tons of material that I will be soon ready to relase. Consciously I want to release it and share it and talk about it but the moment I try to do something there is this huge irrational fear that someone is going to murder me. I have tried thinking aorund it, going to therapy for years listening to paraliminal tapes etc. And I can't seem to proceed past it. My body literally believes if I share what I love about life and I share my talents that someone will burst thorugh the door with a gun and just end my life. I have no idea why but this always comes up. Needless to say I am a really socially isolated person and this has caused me lots of pain needlessly for years. I had someone I knew recently try to talk me through it. She said things like "no people will really like you for sharing things, people will love you and your work and blah blah" And for some reason I equated that fully still with the concept and feeling and thought of murder and the end of my life and safety etc.etc.

Im trying ot figure out why my unconscious relates that I am sure there is something Im missing..

Any thoughts?
thoughts or advice is appreciated!


looking forward to participating here

[Andrew Wilcox]

I think the first thing to realize is that your fear is a natural fear. In a tribal hunter society ten thousand years ago, promoting yourself would be seen as a provocation, a challenge to the pecking order, and would in fact be a dangerous thing to do and could likely get yourself killed.

There is nothing wrong with you, you're not broken, your fear of retaliation for putting yourself out there is as natural as my fear of heights (even if you are in fact perfectly safe, just as I'm perfectly safe when standing on a balcony with a railing).

My first suggestion is to acknowledge your fear without giving it a whole lot of weight. When the fear comes up, you can say, "oh look, I'm fearful of promoting myself again", but don't think about it a lot or worry about it. I myself find it useful to comfort myself as if I were a small child who has an irrational fear: a kind parent listens to a child's fear and gives them a hug and reassurance without making a big deal out of it.

My second suggestion is to ask friends to promote you for you. Recognize that this is something you have a lot of resistance about, so rather than struggle with it, let other people do it for you. Offer to do favors in return, find out what they don't like to do that's no big deal for you, that you could do in return.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Andrew Wilcox

I think the first thing to realize is that your fear is a natural fear. In a tribal hunter society ten thousand years ago, promoting yourself would be seen as a provocation, a challenge to the pecking order, and would in fact be a dangerous thing to do and could likely get yourself killed.

There is nothing wrong with you, you're not broken, your fear of retaliation for putting yourself out there is as natural as my fear of heights

This is very insightful. I agree. Your fear may be a gift.

Why has your introversion caused you pain? There's nothing wrong with being more introverted of keeping to yourself.