Dating norms question

[davidv90]

For a girl to be your girlfriend, is it the norms that you have to ask her to be your girlfriend or is assumed when you have been dating for +4 months?

[Prinie]

Originally Posted by davidv90

For a girl to be your girlfriend, is it the norms that you have to ask her to be your girlfriend or is assumed when you have been dating for +4 months?

Why don't I know this? Ask her. Just be straight forward. Say something like, "Soooo, just to clarify....you are my girlfriend, right?" And if she says yes then you can say that it's normal to assume that. And if she says no, ask her to be your girlfriend and if she says ok then you can assume you took the normal route of asking her to be your lady.

[butterflyeffect]

In my circle of friends, you ask. You do the whole "we're an item now" thing. Can be as short as above poster said. Its never just assumed, no matter how long you've been dating. A bit weird, but hey it works.

[SireneB]

I thought you had to be "in a relationship" together on Facebook

[wstein]

Never assume, that just leads to misunderstandings and heartbreak down the road.

Not really good form to ask either. When it seems that you are gf/bf, slip it in a conversation with someone else when she is there. Something like “ I was at my girlfriends house the other day when the game was on” or “I’ll have what my girlfriend is having”. If she’s not your girlfriend, you will know it soon enough.

[Ceoarob]

Originally Posted by SireneB

I thought you had to be "in a relationship" together on Facebook

this.

must be facebook official.

[Albalida]

Originally Posted by wstein

Never assume, that just leads to misunderstandings and heartbreak down the road.

Agree.

Not really good form to ask either.

Disagree. Putting someone on the spot about that in front of a third party, can also be taken as underhanded and cowardly, and just make some people really uncomfortable. I vote just ask.

Originally Posted by SireneB

I thought you had to be "in a relationship" together on Facebook

That certainly makes things easier!

[reekah]

There are no norms in dating terms.

[cheesedip1]

Okay, what concerns me is, if I don't somewhat imply something about us being gf/bf and all I do is ask her out somewhere to "chill" and "hang out", how will I know that she's my girl and that doesn't just want to hang out as a "friend"?


-Maybe I'm over thinking this, but this is what came to mind for me.

[cheesedip1]

Originally Posted by Albalida

Disagree. Putting someone on the spot about that in front of a third party, can also be taken as underhanded and cowardly, and just make some people really uncomfortable. I vote just ask.

What if it's just you and her tho, and you want to know where both of you stand?

[Brutha]

how will I know that she's my girl and that doesn't just want to hang out as a "friend"?

How about talking directly to her about her expectations?
Talking with each other is a quite simple process.

Heaven forbid, you could even say things like "I love you". If she wants to be your girl friend she will appreciate it if you tell her that you love her.
If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend she will probably

Okay, what concerns me is, if I don't somewhat imply something about us being gf/bf and all I do is ask her out somewhere to "chill" and "hang out",

Most relationship's include more than hanging out. They include physical imtimicy such as kissing and having sex.

[Bradshaw]

Have you had sex with her?

[BillieAnn]

It is individual ! You need to see and feel!

[Agota]

I think it's best to ask girl to be your girlfriend (..it might turn awkward if she thinks she's already your girlfriend, though ).

Also, if you only ask girl to "chill" or "hang out" and you don't make any moves, she will really get a signal that you're interested in her only as a friend

[Rivka Weinstein]

In my opinion, the very fact that you are unsure means that you are not communicating clearly. She might be wondering the same thing. I wouldn't suggest that you make a statement in front of a third party, because if she doesn't think she's your girlfriend, or is not ready to go public with it, it will make her uncomfortable. (and could be disasterous- I once knew a couple that got engaged that way. The guy said they were getting married to his sister and the girl decided to go along with it. They split up in a matter of days.) You should sit down somewhere private and talk to her. Tell her how you feel and find out how she feels. Take it from there. She might be liking you a whole lot, but not ready to cross into gf/bf territory...