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| Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1
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I love my boyfriend(well i just broke up with him yesterday) very much and i believe he loves me too. I think that its normal to fight, and for sure i am not perfect,i have my own faults but one thing i always try to do is to fight fair i don't say hurtful things,if i am the one at fault i apologize but i have never not even one said anything disrespectful to my boyfriend.Because i believe in respecting others and let them hold their dignity. My boyfriend on the other hand, he says mean things and does disrespectful things.I used to believe that he really didnt think what he was doing was a big deal but now i cant anymore.For example he will answer me " what is it you wanted to say yesterday that was so important you cant repeat it now?" (If i ask him why i called him several times but he didnt pick up the day before), or we are having an important conversation on the phone,he puts me on hold five minutes later he texts me saying "call you right back" then like an hour later he tells me" my friends kidnapped me,i am out at the pub with them,what are you up too" ,which i find very disrespectful,if it was just a nonsense convo then yes but something important its just wrong. The next day he says if he knew it was going to get me sad he wouldn't have done it.what i don't understand is , how he cant see that his kind of behaviour is just wrong before handy?I know its unfair for me to be putting things together but things have been happening like this a lot lately.Like girls posting pictures of him holding them on his lap on facebook and tagging him, or pretending to be sleeping on the couch with them(he asked the girl to take off the pictures but she refused,but the damaged was done anyways),or him going to the movies with another girl and dinner without me knowing and yet i always make him know what am up too and make sure he is comfortable with it. At first he would say that he doesn't see anything wrong in what he does then later he would come to me apologizing but how can someone not think that taking pics with other girls with those kind of positions is plain wrong?I don't blame the girls i blame him,he should have refused ,or movies and dinner with another girl without their girlfriend being aware of it? yes i have to give him points he didnt hide it for me when i asked him who he went to the movies with but he should have told me first. The last fight we had, he posted my pic on his facebook for few hours on my birthday then took it off,i was upset that he did that since so far i've had 3 pictures of him and each has stayed for at least a week as my profile,thats when he said that i was too annoying and he did it to make it happy, that i was ungrateful,that i should be happy he put it there in the first place and i could get mad all i want he wouldn't care.But i have had his pictures for the past year and it was his first time to have my picture. I remember one day he sent me pictures he was with a lot of girls and he had a purse of one of the girls then i said"sometimes you act younger"he said why?Then i went on and on explaining,he got upset,he said you are calling me immature" i said no,i dont think you are 5 years old,but its just that things you do sometimes are not things i would do even though am younger than you" he got pretty upset then i said " okay the words were wrong chosen but here is what i meant,i explained again" but he got so upset he refused to talk to me for 3 days, at first i really didnt know he was upset,but after i emailed called texted and met on msn and once i wrote to him he just log off, i knew he was mad.After 3 days he picked up and said "do you have anything you have to say to me?" i said " yes , why are you ignoring me" he said because you called me immature, then i said " i didnt call you immature and i gave you my reasons but if thats how you took it am sorry, and i said i gotta go to class i will call you tomorrow" he then said" i dont know if i will pick up,i haven't been picking up your call and i dont know if i will pick up tomorrow" then i told him" alright call me".I would never answer someone like that,its inconsiderate of someone's else feelings. Don't get me wrong i am not saying he cant have female friends because thats would be wrong i do have more male friends than female myself but i know where to draw the line and i guess he doesn't. I told him before that i dont like how he talks to me, and yesterday i repeated it again for the 3rd time and i asked him if i deserve to be talked to the way he did then he answered not everday but you got me mad and you were being annoying and i had to tell you that,in other words at that particular moment i deserved it. Then i told him we were done,that i was ending the relationship,he just said " okay". Sometimes i think that i was too lenient with him,but i really used to believe that everything he was doing he never saw any hard in them until i pointed out, but thats the problem,why can't he think about it first? Do you think that i overreacted?Ps we are attending different colleges right now. |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: FL
Posts: 10
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I think that you definitely did the right thing by breaking up with him. You seem like a really wonderful and thoughtful person and deserve to be treated so much better than he treated you! Respect is one of the absolute most important things in any relationship and if he doesn't respect you then he absolutely does not deserve you. Also, in order to have a long distance or semi-long relationship (since you said you went to different colleges), two people have to really, really trust each other and it seems that he has done nothing to earn your trust or respect. I understand that you really love him and sometimes we fall hard for the people who are worst for us and we really want to make it work and forgive them for all they do wrong, but in the end you'll feel so much better if you can stay out of this relationship and move on. If you can move past your feelings for this guy who clearly does not treat you like a girlfriend at all or respect you, you'll be able to find a new guy who loves you and shows how much he respects you by treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Don't ever think that this no good guy is your best option, you are a wonderful person and you can do much better!
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| | #5 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Southern California
Posts: 775
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