Should I move on ?

[SaborWolf]

This is a spin off of my other thread, "Wife Walked Out".

But I'll keep this one short.

Since my wife walked out of our marriage... and has ZERO desire to get back with me... should I move on ?

At what point should I sincerely hang up my hat & move on ? I seriously don't want to, on one side... because I do love her, I'm willing to forgive her, & we just had our first son 18 months ago & 98% of our marriage had always been nearly perfect, I thought.

On the other side... I'm almost happy to see her leave because she was always so combative about everything & not very stable. And I've been very good at handling her "combative" side & instability... but it is taxing as hell, I won't lie.

The other part to this dilemma is that I sincerely DON'T BELIEVE in divorce. I mean... I really don't believe in it to a very extreme degree. She could have cheated on me, and there's a good chance that I would have tried to make it work out anyways.

And so... moving on is an extremely difficult concept to grab ahold of.

There... I kept this short. Sorry that the other was so long, but there's no short story to it.. that was as story as that short could have gotten.

Any intelligent thoughts ?

[Clint Cora]

Why would you want to remain in a relationship or marriage with someone who doesn't feel the same for you? That would be an awful existence to be in. You deserve better.

[SaborWolf]

Originally Posted by Clint Cora

Why would you want to remain in a relationship or marriage with someone who doesn't feel the same for you? That would be an awful existence to be in. You deserve better.

Love & commitment is the only thing I can really say. Her giving up on our relationship is due to a psychological issue she's having. And so... though she is taken seriously by everyone, including her family & "our" friends... she's suffering from transference of the loss of her mother (which has completely blown her away) and transferred this pain onto me... and has this left field hate for me, when I've done nothing to deserve her hate.

So I guess I'm hoping she'll snap out of it.

[The Cloud]

If you don't feel strongly either way, it probably doesn't matter whether you move on or not. When you have to ask a stranger for the answer to a question about your own personal feelings, you're asking the wrong question. So forget about moving on or not moving on; that's a dry well that'll leave you thirsty no matter how deep you dig. You need to find a question that has a meaningful answer, one that can be answered by your inspiration alone.

Maybe instead of moving on, ask yourself whether you should get out of China, or whether you should find another way to take care of your wife and baby, or anything else that makes sense to ask. This won't be easy, because it relies on your ability to accept the answer your mind gives you, which can be very difficult when you have a lot to lose. It's one thing to ask whether or not you should leave your wife in the abstract; it's quite another, and quite painful, to be inspired to leave her. Inspiration leaves you a lot less wiggle room to change your mind. But it's better to be guided by an answer that inspires you than by strangers on the internet, no matter how painful it is.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by clint cora

why would you want to remain in a relationship or marriage with someone who doesn't feel the same for you? That would be an awful existence to be in. You deserve better.

+1

[wanzulfikri]

Either you be with her and accept her through the issues she is having or you have to let her go.

It is true that love and commitment are good qualities. But sometimes...it wrecks us apart.