Girl walks out during sex.

[absentmindfulness]

So, earlier this evening a girl and I started to do it in a secluded room at school. We had known each other casually before then, and we had been hanging out up until that point. Judging by our conversation and how curious she was about me and about sex, all signs seemed to indicate that she was as ready to go as I was. So I initiated it. I don't think I've ever been so bold in my life, but it just felt like that natural thing to do. It went on for a while, and all of a sudden she asked me to stop. I did, and she put her clothes back on, packed up and left. It didn't hit me at first but it got to me really bad the more I thought about it. I processed it on the bus on the way home, and I think I'm mostly over it now. Now I'm just trying to figure out what to do about her; should I talk to her and apologize for being so presumptuous or should I just let it go and allow her to come to me?

[butterflyeffect]

Talk to her. Who knows why she left and it most likely wasn't to offend or upset you. Be nice about it, maybe she is embarrassed or scared. Whatever the reason, just be really kind and compassionate to her.

[Ceoarob]

Not gonna lie dude, that's pretty ♥♥♥♥ing awesome.

If you apologize, you're probably going to kill the attraction that she has for you (maybe not totally, but it'll go down because she'll see that you're apologetic for your actions).

However, just be cool about it. She might've really wanted you to bang her at school, she just didn't feel comfortable at the time for whatever reason.

Total props to you for doing that at school though, lol.

I tip my hat to you, good sir.

-AR

[wstein]

Applause for showing respect. There is no need to apologize for boldness when also showing respect. FYI, many girls like boldness.

There are many possible reasons many of which have nothing to do with you. If the ‘problem’ was with you she likely would have said something negative or offered some excuse to diffuse the situation.

My guess is that she was curious and that curiosity was satisfied. If so, that does not indicate anything about how she feels towards you.

I would give it a couple of days then go approach her ‘casually’. If she does pull away, then she is not ready to face you. If she does not pull away then just be friendly and do not bring up the situation. If she mentions it then talk about it with her. Otherwise, let it go and bring it up the next time you are alone. Let her know you are curious why she left.

The point here is if she does have an issue, give her time to work it out. If there is no issue don’t create one by demanding answers.

[TinaC]

I would be kinda worried if I were you Darl. I mean when a gal walks out during sex it usually means you are no good. Maybe this girl had some other reasons but obviously the guys congratulating you on this thread are seriously lacking from experience. I’ve never walked out on a guy when we were having sex but I had a friend who did 'cause he had a small penis lol

Talk to the girl like NOW

[Curious cat]

It sounds like she's inexperienced but curious about sex. She probably thought she wanted it but then stopped when she realised she didn't. People can change their mind.

I wouldn't take it personally, but don't apologise either as she seemed like she was willing up until the point when she said stop. If you're still into her, try hanging out with her again and then later down the track, you can then bring up this subject with her if she seems open to it.

[MiBeloved]

Back off for a while. Show little interest. Don't bring it up in a conversation.

Let the lady mention it when she will, and let her explain why there was an inhibition but on her own terms and in her own time.

Just be friends for the time being without pushing yourself into her association.

It isn't necessarily you. There might be other factors within her which caused the sudden turn-off. It does not have to make sense. And it does not have to be you as the cause of it.

There is also the fact, that it is not abnormal for this to happen.


Even set out to to some place, like the library for instance, and then suddenly you remember something and you stop dead in your tracks and turn about. In that case is the library at fault or anything?

[danas]

I would definitely talk to her. Ask her if she's ok and why she walked out. Simple and caring.

[dogstar]

Well, I am presuming that you are talking about high school since you were thinking about it on the bus ride home. My guess is that while she might have been excited about the prospect and using her teenage hormones at first, at some point she came to her senses about either having sex with you or having sex with you at school and was probably ashamed of herself.

A good person would then approach her and apologize for your forwardness and mistake.

I wouldn't take it personally. She most likely just realized she went too far. Been there done that.

[absentmindfulness]

Thanks for the advice everyone At first I felt like I had done something really wrong and that she walked away thinking I was a creep, but now I feel like it was more an issue with her that wasn't my fault. After reading all your suggestions, I've decided that I'm going to play it cool and talk to her if I get the opportunity, but only to set things right. I'm not going to try to take things any further unless I get the impression that she wants to try again. Either way, I feel a lot more confident now, and regardless of the outcome I now have an experience I can learn from.

butterflyeffect: Duly noted. I feel like she didn't have the confidence to match her curiosity, so I'll be as compassionate as I can. I'd like to be friends with her even if she doesn't feel like getting intimate again.
Ceoarob: Haha thanks man, it was actually really exciting up until when she backed out. Something to try if you're still in school, just be careful
wstein: Words of wisdom once again. You're right; I don't want to scare her off, but at the same time I don't need anything from her. I'll just go with the flow and see where she's at emotionally before I take any further action.
TinaC: Thanks for the input, but I think I'll wait
Curious cat: Agreed, I think she was less experienced than I gave her credit for. I'll remember that and be more cautious the next time something like this happens.
MiBeloved: You make a good point. That library metaphor helped me put the situation into perspective; it's not that she doesn't like me or what I was doing, she just didn't want it at that particular time. I forget sometimes that even though women want sex as much as men do, they don't always want it the same way that men do.
danas: Good thinking; the less pressure the better.
dogstar: I'm actually in university, but what you're saying still makes sense. I appreciate your educated opinion

Thanks again for the insights everyone, you're the greatest.

[Orator]

In fact both of you can sort this type of problem out through a discussion and in fact both of you had this as your first encounter and maybe she feared something, maybe she took it ethically. Sex is a destination we come upon after a long run of trials and it is no game and it has emotional quotients and some of the greatest issues, personal, social and moral and one has to prepare for it and the girl might have been infatuated by something at first and maybe by the passion and in a while the passion might have subsided and she might have thought that was too early for the act of sex

[Brutha]

If up to the point that she said "no" everything with consensual with her there's no reason to apologise.
For her the fact that you respect her wish to stop is the thing that matters.
You should also be discret about it and not tell your friends that you nearly had sex with her.

There the chance that she had a lot of fun and it was a positive experience for her.

I once apologized to a girl for dancing very sexual with her in front of her boyfriend.
She didn't saw any reason for me to apologize and the conversation was quite awkward.

[Apresto]

absentmindfulness, it will be very interesting to see how things will go after you talk to her with having had that experience, gonna subscribe to the thread. What I can say as a suggestion is to be as more man as you can, it sounds like she left because she was very firm at what she was going to do. And as you may know girls are always looking for those who can best fit her expectations. If you act as a man and be straightforward it will probably make her give you a clear view on what she wants. And that my friend is a gem.
Then you'll know what to do. Good luck!

[Mikennick]

You need to talk to her ASAP, especially if you like her and would like to make something out of it.

[Fred Tracy]

That's awesome, dude. I wouldn't mention it. If it's an issue for her, let her bring it up. Otherwise, carry on about your merry business. Don't take it too seriously. The fact that that happened at all means good things for you.

[wolfgang]

Did you have protection?
I'm assuming you didn't finish and she wasn't on the pill.
She may have realized the possibility of getting pregnant.

Or maybe she got off or was otherwise satisfied since you said it went on for a while...

[strawberryShaker]

Originally Posted by Orator

In fact both of you can sort this type of problem out through a discussion and in fact both of you had this as your first encounter and maybe she feared something, maybe she took it ethically. Sex is a destination we come upon after a long run of trials and it is no game and it has emotional quotients and some of the greatest issues, personal, social and moral and one has to prepare for it and the girl might have been infatuated by something at first and maybe by the passion and in a while the passion might have subsided and she might have thought that was too early for the act of sex

Exactly,

[strawberryShaker]

Originally Posted by Ceoarob

Not gonna lie dude, that's pretty ♥♥♥♥ing awesome.

If you apologize, you're probably going to kill the attraction that she has for you (maybe not totally, but it'll go down because she'll see that you're apologetic for your actions).

However, just be cool about it. She might've really wanted you to bang her at school, she just didn't feel comfortable at the time for whatever reason.

Total props to you for doing that at school though, lol.

I tip my hat to you, good sir.

-AR

As a girl I call BS. Apologizing wouldn't kill my attraction to him. the initiation is already a good enough set-up, drawing out the tension is fun though.

[abcbac]

Talk to her about it and how she feels but don't apologize. If you apologize, then she will think you did something bad.

[Ceoarob]

Originally Posted by strawberryShaker

As a girl I call BS. Apologizing wouldn't kill my attraction to him. the initiation is already a good enough set-up, drawing out the tension is fun though.

eh...

Originally Posted by abcbac

Talk to her about it and how she feels but don't apologize. If you apologize, then she will think you did something bad.

yehhhhh

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by absentmindfulness

It went on for a while, and all of a sudden she asked me to stop.

So you were having sex rather spontaneously on school premises which means (1) you probably didn't have a condom, and (2) both of you could get into trouble if you were seen.

Hmmm, I would ask you to stop too.

[BillyTheAdult]

Originally Posted by abcbac

Talk to her about it and how she feels but don't apologize. If you apologize, then she will think you did something bad.

I have to say this doesn't make any sense.
Don't you think she capable of making up her own mind on this. Free of the context of whether or not he apologizes.