Help with my parents

[GaryMichaels]

Here's the deal.

My parents are struggling with money lately. They’ve never had this problem before but they have a lot of bills coming in and my Mother is worried she won’t have enough money to buy presents for family and friends for Christmas. My Father currently works as an electrician and he usually gets paid a decent amount of money every week but only when he gets overtime. With the new boss at his work the overtime has been cut off and he has even had to give his vehicle in because they don’t trust the workers taking them home anymore because a few people were driving them out of work hours so they didn’t have to pay for the fuel with their own money.

My Mother doesn’t work and can’t. She has been through over twenty different operations over the years and some of them have gone wrong and left her stomach in a horrible. She has a ball which we think is a cyst the size of a watermelon sticking out of her and it looks like she is pregnant so it would be impossible for her to get a job at the moment and help my father pay the bills. I am wondering if it would be a good idea to give my parents some money to help get them back on their feet.

I have discussed this with my Fiancée and she thinks it would be a really nice thing to do especially with Christmas coming up but I have been worried how my father will take it. Do you guys think I should give them some money to help them with their bills or perhaps just lend it to them?

[atwinky]

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

Here's the deal.

My parents are struggling with money lately. They’ve never had this problem before but they have a lot of bills coming in and my Mother is worried she won’t have enough money to buy presents for family and friends for Christmas. My Father currently works as an electrician and he usually gets paid a decent amount of money every week but only when he gets overtime. With the new boss at his work the overtime has been cut off and he has even had to give his vehicle in because they don’t trust the workers taking them home anymore because a few people were driving them out of work hours so they didn’t have to pay for the fuel with their own money.

My Mother doesn’t work and can’t. She has been through over twenty different operations over the years and some of them have gone wrong and left her stomach in a horrible. She has a ball which we think is a cyst the size of a watermelon sticking out of her and it looks like she is pregnant so it would be impossible for her to get a job at the moment and help my father pay the bills. I am wondering if it would be a good idea to give my parents some money to help get them back on their feet.

I have discussed this with my Fiancée and she thinks it would be a really nice thing to do especially with Christmas coming up but I have been worried how my father will take it. Do you guys think I should give them some money to help them with their bills or perhaps just lend it to them?

Hey this sound like a really nice idea. Im not to sure how your father would take it because i dont know him but hearing his situation it sounds like a good idea. Mabye just talk to him about it first to make sure he wouldnt be offended or enything but make sure he knows that u will always be able to help out if need be. It sounds like u really care for them so good on you for doing this mate

[JSB]

Yeah, maybe just tell him you'd like to give them a Christmas present to pend on something for themselves and don't phrase it as "helping them out" or anything if his pride is too strong.

Sometimes parents have a hard time accepting help from their children, but if this issue comes up, you can always say something like: "Dad, you and Mum have done so much for me throughout my life and have taken care of me and provided me with many opportunities. I'm very grateful to you, and I'd like to do what I can to help you out; we are a family and the way you raised me has taught me that families stick together and love and help each other, just like you helped me so many times."

[MovingForward]

For sure you should ask both your mom and dad how you can help to make things easier for them. You should offer money if you can and also offer support. Your mom should really get her medical situation under control and take some stress off of worrying about giving gifts. Could you help out?

[Criseyde]

I think it would be nice if you gave them money with a card that said "I wanted to let you choose your own gifts this year." I wouldn't actually say "this is to help you out" -- I think my mom, for example, would be humiliated if I ever had to help her financially.

It might also be worth asking your mom to put a spending limit on the gifts for your family, so she doesn't feel pressured to spend a lot of money that she doesn't have. Maybe $20?

[ssandra]

How about suggesting this year not doing presents and going back to the Christmas spirit of just enjoying each others company?

That way it isn't just them, nobody gets a present. (except your little girl, maybe of course!) and they don't have to feel bad about it.

You can also offer to host the Christmas dinner at your place, so you take care of most of the cost of the food and drinks.

[GaryMichaels]

Thanks for the help

I have been talking to my Mum about her current situation with money and I am going to lend them some money but she has told me they will be paying it back. She is going to put a limit on Christmas shopping this year but she wants to get gifts for everybody. My parents like to have big gatherings for Christmas every year and they spend a lot of money on gifts and food. We are actually hosting the lunch and dinner at our house for the first time this year but my parents are having some other Christmas gatherings with their friends.

As for my Mum’s medical condition my Fiancée and I have both tried to talk her into going to the hospital but she is afraid of going again.