Can't move on.

[JeanKitten]

Hey all!

I'm new here, but I am pretty involved in another forum which I can't post any of this in because my ex is on big there too. Just looking for a new way to be interactive without being constantly reminded of the goings on in his life.

We have been broken up since August, but we still talked every day and were sleeping together up until my last trip to his area (he lives in another state), in early November, when things became unbearable and we made the decision to go no contact.

I should say that he broke it off and I still have a lot of feelings for him and it has been EXTREMELY difficult for me to deal with the breakup.

I didn't even start calling him my ex until recently because it was so tough to say.

I am finding it impossible to not constantly look at his Twitter. I mean 20+ times a day. I did defreinded him on Facebook, but his twitter is public and even though it kills me to see I can't stop looking.

Every day I wake up and tell myself "today is the day I don't go to his page" and I don't make it 10 minutes into the day.

I feel like I'm never going to get over this.

[BillieAnn]

Try to return him back. Do everything in your power!
If you can't, tell yourself that you had do yours. That is no longer your responsibility. Every day get up and think how to make some useful new thing for you personally. I went through it. I know exactly how it is. But time heals everything! Now I see him with his new girlfriend. Strangely , but that do not bother me!

[Ishh]

Dont lose hope... If your love is true... he will feel it... I can relate to you when you say you cant resist looking in at his twitter page... Its hard to deal with small small things... I know this so well.... But you can always talk here... It really helps....

[JeanKitten]

I made the mistake of breaking NC and texting him today. The back and forth wasn't good.

I feel ♥♥♥♥ing horrible. Why am I so weak that I would text him knowing the outcome would be awful? Really hate myself right now.

[Ishh]

It happens, I understand..... It happens.... Really.... trust me on this... I am same as you are... It happens With me too and then I regret it... I will suggest you divert your mind for sumtime and do something else that interest you ( though I know nothing else would seem interesting ) but we need to try.... I spend most of the time here so that I would not think about us,... and even if I think I will keep reading some articles and try and try to forget..... If you find some other way please share.....

[DarthVader]

Originally Posted by JeanKitten

Hey all!

I'm new here, but I am pretty involved in another forum which I can't post any of this in because my ex is on big there too. Just looking for a new way to be interactive without being constantly reminded of the goings on in his life.

We have been broken up since August, but we still talked every day and were sleeping together up until my last trip to his area (he lives in another state), in early November, when things became unbearable and we made the decision to go no contact.

I should say that he broke it off and I still have a lot of feelings for him and it has been EXTREMELY difficult for me to deal with the breakup.

I didn't even start calling him my ex until recently because it was so tough to say.

I am finding it impossible to not constantly look at his Twitter. I mean 20+ times a day. I did defreinded him on Facebook, but his twitter is public and even though it kills me to see I can't stop looking.

Every day I wake up and tell myself "today is the day I don't go to his page" and I don't make it 10 minutes into the day.

I feel like I'm never going to get over this.

Hello Jean,
You have no idea how SHOCKED I am right now. I am going through the same thing as you are . Except the twitter and facebook part every damn thing is similar! I did not defriend him and all but i deleted my facebook account. Broke up in the month of August and patched up after 2 months and again broke up in November (and he too lives in another state)
I have no idea why he broke it off, we never had any fights and I am finding it extremely difficult to get over it and I have exams going on

I was about to post this in the forums but decided not to because I will end up spending a lot of time here and won't study!

[DarthVader]

Originally Posted by JeanKitten

I made the mistake of breaking NC and texting him today. The back and forth wasn't good.

I feel ♥♥♥♥ing horrible. Why am I so weak that I would text him knowing the outcome would be awful? Really hate myself right now.

This is totally strange! I don't understand.

I did the same thing! I switched off my phone because I don't wanna read his text

[Agota]

Maybe people could give you a better advice if you'd share more details about your relationship and the reasons you broke up?

It would also help you, because when someone breaks up with you, it's easy to see them as the best thing since sliced bread only because they rejected you, but this perception often is flawed and it helps to remember what you weren't happy about in your relationship.

[cicadajones]

Saying that break ups can be tough is an understatement. I think that everyone (at least, most women I know!) go through the creepy stage - still wanting to check into their ex's life. Maybe subconsciously we are trying to get a feel for what their life has turned into without us, and see what has changed. Texting him does not make you weak, it makes you normal. When someone is a part of our life for a given time, suddenly cutting contact can be difficult to adjust to.

There really is no great break up cure, and no great way to get over someone. Personally, I always try and pick something about myself to work on so that I can have an accomplishment to be proud of myself for (ex: like working out more and getting in better shape). A great dessert, a sappy chick flick, and a good cry are also good therapy (just don't make it a habit!). Really, it's just about time, time, and more time to realize exactly what it was in your relationship that wasn't working, perhaps figuring out incompatibilities or bad timing, and realizing that you are an incredible individual that deserves more happiness than you are currently experiencing.

[JeanKitten]

There really wasn't a concrete reason we broke up. It was a mix of a few things.

The distance caused some jealousy and controlling behavior on both sides. I would get kind of snippy when he went out with his friends, but mainly because I didn't have much of a social life myself. I was just jealous that I couldn't be there having fun with him and his group.

And after about 8 months of us being together, I wanted to start making plans for one of us to move to the others city but he was/is in a bad place financially and my situation was always more stable (I have a steady job and my own apartment). He told me ever since we started dating he would move here (to my city) and that just never materialized. I never really pushed the move because I didn't want to force something he wasn't ready for, but he knew its what I wanted. I don't think he really wanted to make that kind of commitment, even though he said he would.

He had a big problem with lying. He lied about all sorts of things that I ended up finding the truth out about later in our relationship. Not about other women, but about damn near everything else.

He is also super moody. Like happy one second and pissed the next type. It was very hard to respond to his mood changes.

I still don't understand what reason he had to break up with me. I was great to him. Even when I ask him he just says "You never did anything. I just don't want to date you anymore."

Its amazing to me I even feel as awful as I do about him. I should be happy to get him out of my life, instead I feel like I will die without him. Shows what kind of self respect I have. None.

[Prinie]

Don't beat yourself up too much. At the end of the day, you have to reach a point where you just decide that you're not going to bother with him and find other things to do. Leave the forum, take some space, delete his number from your phone, go for a run, read a book, write, talk to friends, watch a movie alone, go to dinner. Whenever you go online, have specific places you'll go to and only go to those places. It took me one year before I realized that I wasn't making the decision to cut him off. But I had to find other things to do. Maybe that'll be the case for you. I just had to decide to stop obsessing about the relationship, what happened, what didn't, what it could all mean. It is what it is and then eventually you'll realize it's been 3 months and he hasn't crossed your mind since. You actually forgot he existed.