|12-01-2011, 06:07 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NYC, Miami
Sorry for you
There is nothing wrong with you and you don't deserve that sort of abuse. It's completely normal to have a lock on your door, in roommate situations I've always had a lock w a key. Just stay positive and I would have a talk with your bf about his family's awful behavior. Lay down the rules to him that it's ether you and the baby or them. There is no room in you relationship for such nasty people, even if they are his family. You are lucky to have grown up with such a sweet and caring foster mom and sister. Keep in mind though that his dysfunctional family is "normal" for him, but try to push them out. Cheer up and good luck
|12-01-2011, 06:47 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern California
Hi there Grace,
Seems like your boyfriend's family is majorly dysfunctional and your boyfriend still has a foot in that door. The family probably hates you because they feel their bad behavior is being looked down upon (as it should be) and that you are taking one of their dysfunctional members away... as in "she made him quit smoking crack and loaning us money". The not holding your son thing is weird since why were they even there at his birth in the first place if not to show their support and their love for the baby? Nevertheless dysfunctional covers it and heads could spin trying to figure out their behavior. In short they have big issues that you are not likely ever to resolve.
If it was me i would completely dissociate with the family, awaiting forever if necessary some kind of change on their part in the way they are willing to treat you before re-evaluating this. If your boyfriend wants to visit them that's great, it's just something you wouldn't be doing together.
Sounds like your boyfriend is less dysfunctional than his family and maybe even moving in a positive direction, but still messed up nonetheless. You have to decide for yourself how important it is to get more support from him where his family's behavior towards you is concerned. Honest communication is a good place to start, such questions as how do you feel about me and our relationship, what's going through your mind when your family treats me the way they do and why do you not say anything to them when it happens?
Not that you don't have to make your own resolution about your boyfriend's family independent of whatever he decides... you do... but in a healthy relationship there would be a lot more support than this from a man who loves and cherishes you.
Aside from this specific issue, ultimately you will have to decide if you are happy with the way you are being treated by your boyfriend overall and if this is the man you want to be with.
edit: ok great the original post is gone and i didn't include it
Last edited by MightySunTzu; 12-01-2011 at 06:53 PM.
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