Self-Worth + Self-Esteem Building Resources?

[GreenStar]

Hi Folks,

One of the main themes that keeps cropping in my life are issues that are rooted in low self-worth. I've meditated for years, quit alcohol and drugs a few years back, and have transformed my life from being depressed most of the time to being pretty happy - though there are still issues there, especially in relationships, that I can safely say are still caused by the olde nugget of low-self worth.

I'm currently studying Christian Pankhurst's excellent Heart Intelligence online course, and it's helped me tremendously to "feel into" the body feeling of unworthiness and thus dissolve the charge around it, so that it now affects me less and less though still there is an intangible element, a question mark in my mind on to how to effect real change in this regard in order to transform my self-image to that where I'm not always automatically judging and discounting myself and my actions (and therefore feeling hurt and fearful over even minor issues).

I have yet to see a resource / master / teacher that has dedicated to and created an effective teaching dedicated to this issue - anyone got any resources to share which address this core issue?

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

how to effect real change in this regard in order to transform my self-image to that where I'm not always automatically judging and discounting myself and my actions (and therefore feeling hurt and fearful over even minor issues).

The way I did it was I took the self-judgment and made it purposeful. The problem isn't that you're saying bad things about yourself, it's that you're not doing it on purpose. So, if your mind makes up a judgment about yourself, say something like "That's right, that's who I am." If your mind says that you're a bad person, then agree. Say it yourself and mean it.

The voices are saying you're a bad person based on who you are, so agreeing won't change anything. You won't suddenly start doing evil deeds, since you're obviously already bad enough to warrant judgment. You'll just be admitting to a different label on the exact same things you always do.

Don't deny anything bad your mind says about you. Don't try to stop the voices, tell the voices that they are right. Show the voices that they aren't even worthy of defiance, that you can give in to everything they have to say and come out unharmed.

[irunthereforeiam]

Search ' Nathaniel Branden's Sentence Completion' exercises. It's simple yet effective and free.

[GreenStar]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

The way I did it was I took the self-judgment and made it purposeful. The problem isn't that you're saying bad things about yourself, it's that you're not doing it on purpose. So, if your mind makes up a judgment about yourself, say something like "That's right, that's who I am." If your mind says that you're a bad person, then agree. Say it yourself and mean it.

The voices are saying you're a bad person based on who you are, so agreeing won't change anything. You won't suddenly start doing evil deeds, since you're obviously already bad enough to warrant judgment. You'll just be admitting to a different label on the exact same things you always do.

Don't deny anything bad your mind says about you. Don't try to stop the voices, tell the voices that they are right. Show the voices that they aren't even worthy of defiance, that you can give in to everything they have to say and come out unharmed.

Is this because if I try to resist them and turn them around, I will merely give them energy, thus ensuring their survival? And if I agree with them it will take the "charge" out of them?

thanks v much by the way

[GreenStar]

Originally Posted by irunthereforeiam

Search ' Nathaniel Branden's Sentence Completion' exercises. It's simple yet effective and free.

This looks very interesting, thanks, I will certainly check it out.

[quiethumir]

I think you would benefit from watching these series of videos on youtube:

Self Acceptance - problem and solutions part 1 A - YouTube

[Maya2066]

Yes Nathaniel Branden's sentence completion exercises are very powerful.

[rei]

You could also try the free self-esteem workbook package from CCI: Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI) - Psychotherapy, Research, Training

A little more left-brained maybe

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

Is this because if I try to resist them and turn them around, I will merely give them energy, thus ensuring their survival? And if I agree with them it will take the "charge" out of them?

Not quite. You actually end up taking them and their energy as your own. "They" aren't an enemy, they are you. Their energy is your energy. Resisting them is like telling yourself you don't like your arm and getting angry every time it does something for you.

Every time your voices sabotage you, they prevent you from doing something in a way that you shouldn't be doing it. They're trying to help, and they're right, or at least they are no less right than the rest of you. It's easy to look at the voices as antagonists, and I wrote a bit like they were in my first post, but ultimately they are working for your benefit and will gladly accept your help.

Edit: That's what I meant when I said to make your self-judgment purposeful. When something is purposeful, it means that it's you that is doing it. The voices are you, so making them purposeful isn't an action so much as it is an admission of the truth.

[GreenStar]

Originally Posted by irunthereforeiam

Search ' Nathaniel Branden's Sentence Completion' exercises. It's simple yet effective and free.

Thanks very much, I have started the Sentence Completion exercises, day 3 today, and I think they are helping already. Thanks!

[irunthereforeiam]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

Thanks very much, I have started the Sentence Completion exercises, day 3 today, and I think they are helping already. Thanks!

Awesome.