[ADULT] Women - does it/can it still feel good if you don't Orgasm?

[ultimate]

I am curious

[Ceoarob]

You're on the right path, so here's a quote that will help you out:

"Dear Lover, Before I understood how to open with you, I tried giving you orgasms so I knew I was a good lover. But now, all I want is your surrender. I want your heart's pleasure to ripple through your open body and saturate my life with your love. Your body's openness to love's flow draws me into you, and through your heart's surrender I am opened to the love that lives as the universe. Whether you have an orgasm or not while we make love, your body's trust and devotional openness is my secret doorway to love's deepest bliss."

-AR

[ButterflyWoman]

I'll just turn it around. Does it still feel good if you don't achieve orgasm?

[ultimate]

Ceoarob awesome

ButterflyWoman Yes

I was kinda stressing over my gf not having the big O last time, she did say it was good but I wanted other peoples opinions.

Not sure why I was stressing over it but you have helped me.

Ultimately I guess each time will be different.
I definitely would love to give her an amazing O, she has had ones before although I believe there can be bigger O's and would love to help her feel them.

Ceoarob I will be reading that ebook

[Agota]

Um, that might be obvious, but have you tried asking her what exactly turns her on?

..it's simply that many women have the idea that "he should know it without me telling him" and many men have idea "oh yeah I know what I'm doing so I won't ask her". This results in awkward situations

[GreenStar]

I was told by my friend who is a very wise psychologist that the woman is satisfied by sex once the man comes. But of course I try to please my woman and not just seek my own gratification.

He also told me that the whole of a woman's body is an "erogenous zone" and that women gain great pleasure from the whole act of lovemaking, and not just from penetration.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

I was told by my friend who is a very wise psychologist that the woman is satisfied by sex once the man comes. But of course I try to please my woman and not just seek my own gratification.

He also told me that the whole of a woman's body is an "erogenous zone" and that women gain great pleasure from the whole act of lovemaking, and not just from penetration.

The second part is mostly true.

The first part is BS.

[Agota]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

I was told by my friend who is a very wise psychologist that the woman is satisfied by sex once the man comes. But of course I try to please my woman and not just seek my own gratification.

I suggest testing this in practice: try finishing too early all the time and see how satisfied your girlfriend will be (or how soon she will find a man who knows more about her feminine needs )

[James81]

Originally Posted by ssandra

The second part is mostly true.

The first part is BS.

I think the first part is partially true.

The thing I've discovered is that when I don't cum, there is lots of tension after that. I do think that women derive a certain satisfaction from making a man cum. It may not manifest itself as physical pleasure, but it DOES manifest itself as emotional discomfort if he doesn't cum.

[Agota]

Originally Posted by James81

The thing I've discovered is that when I don't cum, there is lots of tension after that. I do think that women derive a certain satisfaction from making a man cum. It may not manifest itself as physical pleasure, but it DOES manifest itself as emotional discomfort if he doesn't cum.

I assume it's the same with men and women: people don't feel comfortable when their partner doesn't have as much fun as they do, assuming they care about the person they're having sex with

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by James81

I think the first part is partially true.

The thing I've discovered is that when I don't cum, there is lots of tension after that. I do think that women derive a certain satisfaction from making a man cum. It may not manifest itself as physical pleasure, but it DOES manifest itself as emotional discomfort if he doesn't cum.

I agree that there is a certain satisfaction from making my partner cum. However, I do hope that whoever I am with feels the same!!

Having an orgasm isn't important to me, however, that doesn't mean that only my partners pleasure is important. It is still very important for me to enjoy myself and have fun... and if he turns me on, then cums and stops doing whatever... that's just frustrating.
Again, it doesn't mean that it has to end in an orgasm... but it also doesn't mean that his orgasm is all the pleasure I need....

[votoshka]

Just to make one thing quite clear... some women find it difficult to orgasm through penetrative sex alone, and others find it impossible (I am one of the latter). We are all built differently. If your girlfriend doesn't orgasm through actual penetrative sex, it's a nice idea if you try other ways of giving her pleasure and bringing her to orgasm.

No, an orgasm isn't 100% necessary ALL the time. But I also know a lot of women will say the sex was still nice without one (although they would have preferred to have one).

Umm yeah and it's complete rubbish to say that a woman is satisfied once the man has had an orgasm . Most men I know have no problem reaching orgasm...so after the first or second time, it's not so much of an accomplishment for the woman (this is not true of all men I have known though... in which case finally getting the guy to cum may be a relief!!!). However, if you're having sex with a guy who pretty much always cums... there's not a great deal of personal satisfaction in getting him there time after time if you're not getting there yourself . Although, when you love a guy it IS nice that you have been able to give him pleasure!

[Prinie]

NO! lol It doesn't for me. It's just disappointing. If I don't get to the top of the mountain, what was the point of getting me all geared up and having me do the climb if before we even get there, we have to come back down? Take me to the top and push my a$$ over! I want to Kum!

[VinceG]

If you can't give a woman an orgasm you should just quit. Tongues, fingers, hell, Howard Stern used a subwoofer once. Just get the job done, mate!

[newkaren]

Yes it still feels great.

For me there is something about sex that I find more satisfying than an just an orgasm. If all I wanted was an orgasm, I can do that myself.

And oh, yeah, I agree with the other lady's. Just because he finished, doesn't make me feel satisfyed. Total BS.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Howard Stern used a subwoofer once.

That's hysterical! And why does that not surprise me . . .

[Angelique]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

I was told by my friend who is a very wise psychologist that the woman is satisfied by sex once the man comes.

*giggle* Yes, because then he'll fall asleep and she can finish what he started.


Seriously now, it feels good as long as you don't pass the point of no return.

[aelle]

The typical suggestion when a woman doesn't orgasm during penetration is to satisfy her first, then have penetrative sex. Meh. I find it more annoying than penetrative sex without orgasms at all. Some women, like most men, find it underwhelming at best, painful at worst, to keep on humping once they had an orgasm. I like my climax to be just that - the best part of the action, and then I'm done.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by GreenStar

I was told by my friend who is a very wise psychologist that the woman is satisfied by sex once the man comes.

WTF? I take it this "wise psychologist" is male.

It's not particularly sexually gratifying for a woman to have a man come (although I do agree with James that it can be uncomfortable if he does NOT, particularly if he wanted or intended to; that's another discussion, though). Basically, a woman can't even feel it when the man ejaculates (the semen is body temperature), and a lot of (most) guys stop moving at that point and the sex is over. How is this supposed to be gratifying? "Oh, well, HE came, my job is done! I'm a great sexual partner, yay for me, I'm so gratified!"

Originally Posted by GreenStar

He also told me that the whole of a woman's body is an "erogenous zone" and that women gain great pleasure from the whole act of lovemaking, and not just from penetration.

Yes, more or less.

But it can still be extremely frustrating to be building toward an orgasm - this is true for any gender, of course - and have the activity stop. I'm not saying that orgasm is absolutely necessary, but having it denied is extremely unpleasant, in my experience, and the fact that the man has managed to get there when I didn't isn't exactly a satisfying outcome (not that I have this problem at all, now, but it's been known to happen in the past with other partners).

On certain occasions when I've been left feeling less than satisfied, I've generally been able to persuade my partner to engage in digital or oral stimulation until I feel happy about the situation. (Again, this isn't an issue for me now, but I was young once and went to bed with young, inexperienced men sometimes.)

[BillieAnn]

Experience of orgasm is not dependent from partner. Depends of the one who are experiencing!