Girls and your definition of a relationship

[tomtomtom]

I am at a point in my life where I really dont know what to do with females, I dont know where they fit into my life. I can really get any girl that I want which takes out the "I cant believe i got her" aspect. I also really, really like most all girls they are all really fun to hang out with. When im with a hott girl having a good time its a hard decision weather or not to take it out of the friend zone, of course I would love that, but the complications can be great. I feel like there could be a very large amount of girls I could be happy with for a long time and dont buy into the soul mate thing. I guess I was wondering how you guys view relationships, a lifelong partnership, these ideas may relate to your meaning of life and such. I am hoping one just makes some kind of overwheling sense and I just go with it. If not I would just have hundreds of meaningless but fun realationships

[frosting]

"I can really get any girl that I want which.." also "If not I would just have hundreds of meaningless but fun relationships" That makes me think you are really young or maturity wise are still very young.

It just doesn't sound as if you've ever been in genuine love the way you talk about it. For me relationships are great with the right person. Not just any person will do. You need to connect on a lot of levels to make it work, be willing to compromise for the other person's needs, ect.

I think whenever you actually fall in real love, you will see why relationships are precious. Nobody will have to spell it out for you when you get there.

[tomtomtom]

I never said "any" person. I only said there are many in which I could do that with, I am young but mature. You are projecting yourself onto my question and assuming we are alike, which we are not. I am saying I am not sure about genuine love, how would you describe that? For me genuine love is very easy to get, the whole trust, love for the person, ill take a bullet for you kind of thing. Just look at the divorce rate. Love is when you love being around a person so much, love is that your willing to do anything for them. I am saying that this is a concept I am not sure about because its not hard to obtain. I am saying that you think you "love" somebody until the next one comes along then you forget all about the first.

[frosting]

How am I projecting myself onto your question?

You asked what people think about relationships, I answered.

If you think genuine love is easy to get, that shows me you've never been in love. This statement confirms it " I am saying that you think you "love" somebody until the next one comes along then you forget all about the first."

[tomtomtom]

Genuine love or co dependence?

[tomtomtom]

you were projecting by saying that my statement that "i could get any girl" was false and flawed, you then assumed i was immature off that statement allthough it was not proper rational because you have no reason to believe that statement to be false other than your own experiences

[frosting]

Nobody wants to hear they come off immature, I get that. Of course you take offense to that but the truth based on your original post is it does come off that way. I'm only being honest with you when I hear the statement "Ooooh I can get ANY girl" typically comes from younger guys with big egos. Many women would agree with me there. You can take offense or you can step back re-evaluate how you may be coming off to people and grow. The choice is yours, I'm not trying to offend. It may very well simply be cultural difference. Maybe where you are from acting "macho" is awesome.

As for the genuine love or co-dependence... I know the difference and I'm not talking about co-dependence.

[tomtomtom]

Well I was not offended at all. I dont see how telling the truth is immature. I dont have a big ego, how else do you want me to state the facts so that people dont think I am immature? Do you want me to say that my success rate from the reality I have observed is extreamly high in comparison to the general population? Do you think I cant?

[tomtomtom]

When did I ever tell you how I act. I never said i was macho or acted in that way. You are over assuming everything.

[frosting]

I didn't say you act macho, I was referring to the fact there may just be a cultural difference here.

You seem offended so not much more I want to say here. Maybe in time you will understand what I have said. Hopefully you get the answers you are looking for.

[tomtomtom]

Yeah nothing you said was remotely helpful or accurate or logical and I was not offened by anything though you kept insisting i was, and you did say i was acting macho indirectly.

[tomtomtom]

So should I stay away from relationships, should I get into one with the first girl I like? Should I just hook up with random girls to avoid complication. I would like a Girlfriend but am afraid that she will become to attatched expecially if she has emotions

[nistacular]

Well what do you want to achieve? Does the idea of having a long term relationship, someone that you can intimately trust with everything, appeal to you? Or if you are having a hard time dealing with complications having to do with girls, have you thought about like, focusing on another part of your life? What other goals do you have? You don't have to settle down with a girl now, of course, so I think you should focus on other parts of your life until you find a girl that really appeals to you, in a way that most other girls don't. Being able to get girls easily doesn't mean anything - that's a SKILL, and doesn't have much to do with emotions, although it might say something about how much you enjoy being with girls. That's a good thing, generally. But that's not love. Just wait for the right girl... 'overwhelming sense' as you described it.

Also most people don't want to have meaningless relationships - so yes, you'll run into lots of girls that will want to be attached. Of course they have emotions, everyone has emotions... you have emotions. If you really like the girl, why not stay with her? It may have more to do with her opinion of you, than of your opinion of her, as you'll probably find more and more.

[Clint Cora]

A hot girl doesn't make a soul mate. If relationships are based solely on looks, remember that in time, pretty well everyone will lose their looks in some way. So how are relationships going to last over time if they were based just on looks?

[tomtomtom]

Originally Posted by nistacular

Well what do you want to achieve? Does the idea of having a long term relationship, someone that you can intimately trust with everything, appeal to you? Or if you are having a hard time dealing with complications having to do with girls, have you thought about like, focusing on another part of your life? What other goals do you have? You don't have to settle down with a girl now, of course, so I think you should focus on other parts of your life until you find a girl that really appeals to you, in a way that most other girls don't. Being able to get girls easily doesn't mean anything - that's a SKILL, and doesn't have much to do with emotions, although it might say something about how much you enjoy being with girls. That's a good thing, generally. But that's not love. Just wait for the right girl... 'overwhelming sense' as you described it.

Also most people don't want to have meaningless relationships - so yes, you'll run into lots of girls that will want to be attached. Of course they have emotions, everyone has emotions... you have emotions. If you really like the girl, why not stay with her? It may have more to do with her opinion of you, than of your opinion of her, as you'll probably find more and more.

Its really good to see a relevant answer. I think im just gonna try to have like 40 to 50 hott girls that i talk to and am friends with so that I can get a bigger sample of the feild.