Why homeless beggars always pick ME?

[Roy Dest]

Seriously, this can not be a coincidence. It's like I get always asked for money. Doesn't matter if there is or isn't someone around. It's not just beggars, if some folks otherwise normal really need money they don't have right now, they pick me as their savior.

I don't actually have a job and I never know when there will be some extra money going my way, so I'm not comfortable with giving money away. Sometimes I give them money, sometimes I don't and sometimes I buy them some food instead.

It is almost as they instinctively try to take advantage of me. How do they choose the sponsors? Is the appearance? Look in the eyes? Body posture? Do I have, as the holographic Doctor in Star Trek: Voyager said, a very trustworthy face?

Firstly, this is a little unusual because people otherwise rather avoid me. Maybe not avoid, but I guess they feel a little intimidated. I live in a dorm room with lots of high school kids attending classes there. And I've had some of the guys greeting me (they wait for a class right next to my dorm) and I could swear, I think I heard them call me "warlock", (literally, dark magus) when I was on my way out of the dorm. Perhaps I should wear less dark blue and black. As for how did they know about my occult practices, that is a different question

I want to figure this out. There was always lots of weird reactions to my presence and the homeless folks just add to that. Anyway, this is an area where introspection won't help. I wonder if this personal quasi-magnetism could be used in career like politics or social work. If people want money from me, I'd do well as a minister of social affairs. I'd rather give out state money, than my own.

[CroMagna]

You're under no obligation to give your money away, especially if you don't have a job and especially to people who don't need it. As far as why they pick you, I think you're reading into it. Unless you've already established a reputation as being free with money, there's no reason why they pick you out in particular.

[newkaren]

Your putting off the wrong vibe.

Work on saying no. As a general rule I don't give to beggars. I worry about the money going to booze/ drugs. If your worried about the homeless, give to a charity in your area.

[ZephyrusX]

haha - I'm not sure what you want from this thread! Do you want advise on how not to be asked for money or do you want us to tell you that do you indeed have a magnetic vibe that attracts people?

I think it is just body language. I get a lot of people asking me for money and help on the street as well. Eye contact, slowing down your movements in recognition of another person, turning your body towards another person can all signify that you are willing to talk.

[flyingbutterfly]

Ha Ha, I'm in the same boat. For me I think it's because I care, and they can see it, I don't dismiss them or belittle them. I help when I can but there is a point of saying NO to. You need to find a happy medium that works for you.

[NoJobRob]

I've always had a soft spot for homeless people. When I was stationed in Washington I took some homeless kids grocery shopping, and on another occasion I took someone out to IHOP to eat. He wasn't a drunk or anything, he was a genuinely down on his luck veteran, so I wanted to help him out, even in just a small way. He was very appreciative. And when I was stationed in Germany, every time my friends and I were walking to the taxi stand from the bar, and piss drunk, LOL, I'd always see the same guy sleeping under a bridge with his dog, so I'd drop him 5 or 10 Euros and then continue to stagger to the taxi. What can I say? I'm just a nice guy I guess...

[taylor]

At first I was thinking it's because you are acknowledging their existence. (Most people try to ignore them.)

Then I thought it's because you're putting out the wrong vibe.

Then when I read someone called you a "dark magus" it's because you look like a weak target or naive wearing goth-like stuff.

Could be any or none of them, take your pick.

I'm happy to give whatever if I actually feel they need it, but where I live about 80% of the time my BS meter goes off and I feel it's my duty NOT to give them anything.

[Ikkxs]

What you can do is when you see one on your route, imagine you have a big wall around you. A wall that is unbreakable, really hard and then walk pass by those people.

With this attitude you set borders for yourself and you decide whether people can enter your space or not.