Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

kcgolden · 11-18-2011, 10:24 PM

He says it's ok because they live far away and they are just friends. These women send him dirty pics of themselves and talk dirty to him. He says I am just being jealous and insecure. One of these women is disrespectful and does not have his best interests in mind.

He also talks to them about our relationship. Am I being extreme, or is this wrong? He says he likes the attention and likes to know that other women are still attracted to him. Help!

IvyW · 11-18-2011, 10:28 PM

ask him if he is ok with you doing this with other men.

kcgolden · 11-18-2011, 10:38 PM

He says he doesn't mind, but men are 'different' because they wouldn't be talking w me to be a helpful friend like his 'lady friends' are.

Criseyde · 11-18-2011, 10:41 PM

Boundaries like this are really for you and your boyfriend to decide, not anybody else. Personally, I don't care about flirting and I like to do it too, so I wouldn't get along with a guy who didn't want me to flirt with anybody. I don't know about dirty talk because I would be so awkward that I've honestly never done it (see this comic). But I don't think you are being "unreasonable" or anything like that.

I think it's a little odd that he talks about "your relationship." Like, what is he saying? I talk about my relationships with friends, but this seems different...

neilpage · 11-18-2011, 10:52 PM

In my opition... you deserve better boyfriend.

IvyW · 11-18-2011, 11:00 PM

what if you were to talk dirty to other men? and gave other men the same attention these ladies are giving your bf? imo it needs to be even.

Blore · 11-18-2011, 11:31 PM

This sounds like a gray area of cheating.

Since it bothers you, I think it qualifies as cheating. Tell him to stop, or hit the road.

If he thinks dirty texts are more important than you, then well, look at the silver lining, you got rid of a jerk.

votoshka · 11-19-2011, 01:53 AM

Personally, I think talking dirty and sending dirty pictures is crossing the line! It's one thing to engage in meaningful (non sexual) conversation with someone when you're in a relationship, and it's another entirely to engage in over the top sexual talk.

Of course, you also need to discuss the boundaries of your relationship with your boyfriend and work out what you each find acceptable. If you can't agree, then maybe it's time to consider a new boyfriend.

wstein · 11-19-2011, 03:15 AM

He is letting you know that you are not the exclusive interest in his life. From that view. it’s OK for him.

Clearly he is right and you ARE being jealous.

Men are often dense when it comes to relationships. He might not be aware that you feel hurt by his behavior.

As it whether or not it’s ‘OK’ for you is entirely on you. Only you can decide if you want to share him or if you need a more exclusive arrangement.

TonyToneTone · 11-19-2011, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IvyW

ask him if he is ok with you doing this with other men.

BAM! Problem solved.

It's also time for you to find a new bf.

kcgolden · 11-20-2011, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Boundaries like this are really for you and your boyfriend to decide, not anybody else. Personally, I don't care about flirting and I like to do it too, so I wouldn't get along with a guy who didn't want me to flirt with anybody. I don't know about dirty talk because I would be so awkward that I've honestly never done it (see this comic). But I don't think you are being "unreasonable" or anything like that.

I think it's a little odd that he talks about "your relationship." Like, what is he saying? I talk about my relationships with friends, but this seems different...

great comic!

kcgolden · 11-20-2011, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by votoshka

Personally, I think talking dirty and sending dirty pictures is crossing the line! It's one thing to engage in meaningful (non sexual) conversation with someone when you're in a relationship, and it's another entirely to engage in over the top sexual talk.

Of course, you also need to discuss the boundaries of your relationship with your boyfriend and work out what you each find acceptable. If you can't agree, then maybe it's time to consider a new boyfriend.

Yea, that is crossing a line. He doesn't see it that way because they 'live so far away.' I don't think it's about distance.

kcgolden · 11-20-2011, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wstein

He is letting you know that you are not the exclusive interest in his life. From that view. it’s OK for him.

Clearly he is right and you ARE being jealous.

Men are often dense when it comes to relationships. He might not be aware that you feel hurt by his behavior.

As it whether or not it’s ‘OK’ for you is entirely on you. Only you can decide if you want to share him or if you need a more exclusive arrangement.

Thanks for the insight. Men and women definitely don't communicate the same way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

BAM! Problem solved.

It's also time for you to find a new bf.

It's beginning to look that way. Thanks, Tony.

11-18-2011, 10:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
kcgolden Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 10	My boyfriend thinks it's ok to txt women he has a mutual attraction with He says it's ok because they live far away and they are just friends. These women send him dirty pics of themselves and talk dirty to him. He says I am just being jealous and insecure. One of these women is disrespectful and does not have his best interests in mind. He also talks to them about our relationship. Am I being extreme, or is this wrong? He says he likes the attention and likes to know that other women are still attracted to him. Help!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Boyfriend thinks he can't show me off.	lookcloser	Social & Relationships	37	10-24-2010 10:25 PM
My boyfriend thinks another girl is prettier than me	Betsy	Social & Relationships	38	11-29-2009 09:43 AM
Attraction to voluptuous women	tamzdance	Social & Relationships	42	09-07-2009 02:34 AM
Has anyone experienced mutual dream before?	Xing Liu	Intention-Manifestation	4	08-17-2008 01:53 AM
Is mutual physical attraction important in relationships?	Spartan	Social & Relationships	30	05-21-2008 12:14 PM

11-18-2011, 10:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
IvyW Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 222	ask him if he is ok with you doing this with other men.

11-18-2011, 10:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
kcgolden Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 10	He says he doesn't mind, but men are 'different' because they wouldn't be talking w me to be a helpful friend like his 'lady friends' are.

11-18-2011, 10:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Criseyde Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3,157	Boundaries like this are really for you and your boyfriend to decide, not anybody else. Personally, I don't care about flirting and I like to do it too, so I wouldn't get along with a guy who didn't want me to flirt with anybody. I don't know about dirty talk because I would be so awkward that I've honestly never done it (see this comic). But I don't think you are being "unreasonable" or anything like that. I think it's a little odd that he talks about "your relationship." Like, what is he saying? I talk about my relationships with friends, but this seems different...

11-18-2011, 10:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
neilpage Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Maryland Posts: 288	In my opition... you deserve better boyfriend.

11-18-2011, 11:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
IvyW Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 222	what if you were to talk dirty to other men? and gave other men the same attention these ladies are giving your bf? imo it needs to be even.

11-18-2011, 11:31 PM	#7 (permalink)
Blore Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 28	This sounds like a gray area of cheating. Since it bothers you, I think it qualifies as cheating. Tell him to stop, or hit the road. If he thinks dirty texts are more important than you, then well, look at the silver lining, you got rid of a jerk.

11-19-2011, 01:53 AM	#8 (permalink)
votoshka Family Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 2,547	Personally, I think talking dirty and sending dirty pictures is crossing the line! It's one thing to engage in meaningful (non sexual) conversation with someone when you're in a relationship, and it's another entirely to engage in over the top sexual talk. Of course, you also need to discuss the boundaries of your relationship with your boyfriend and work out what you each find acceptable. If you can't agree, then maybe it's time to consider a new boyfriend.

11-19-2011, 03:15 AM	#9 (permalink)
wstein Family Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida USA Posts: 1,015	He is letting you know that you are not the exclusive interest in his life. From that view. it’s OK for him. Clearly he is right and you ARE being jealous. Men are often dense when it comes to relationships. He might not be aware that you feel hurt by his behavior. As it whether or not it’s ‘OK’ for you is entirely on you. Only you can decide if you want to share him or if you need a more exclusive arrangement.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums