How to connect with a girl?

[Ikkxs]

Lately I had some dates with some nice girls, but it seems I'm not able to get the connection going. Via mail we have always good contacts but when we meet I can't seem to connect with the girl.

Because most of the time it stays with one date. After that when i ask for a next date I don't hear them anymore, they are to busy,... But if I ask feedback I never get a straight and honest answer. So i don't know what I'm doing wrong. I listen a lot, more than I speak, I tell stuff about myself, ... But it seems I'm doing something wrong.

[BillieAnn]

Ok, I understand you. It is happens to me earlier, too.
I felt bad. I thought that the problem is me. Then I said no! I am not! I want and they not! Their expectations for me - that's the problem! They are built wrong! Then I began to think differently,not what the other wants to hear from me, but who really am I ! Honestly? That attitude and sincerity lead me no to more meetings, but also that don't bring me disappointment!
Realistically, the attraction is not dependent on Internet communication through words only .. attracting the opposite sex depends on the position, the physical that you have taken at the time of the meeting!
Your position and confidence!
Comfortable in your body and pleased and proud of yourself!
The world is mine - had to say to you when you walk the street!
Good luck!

[SlicK]

You're probably thinking too much instead of enjoying the date to the fullest and living the moment.
Some guys go to a date with a job interview kind of attitude, wanting the girl to like them. You should go with a playful, fun, warm, sexual attitude. The attitude matters more than what you say/what you do. Usually, what you feel is what she will feel too.

[Ikkxs]

Thanks for the great comments. I think a part of this process is self acceptance and be able to forgive yourself from things that didn't work in the past.

[kinghtalexis]

There seems to be no problem here, what i think is that you are going on written conversation first and then going on oral which is messing up. Thing is that when you are on mail, you edit words, twist it and make it look more presentable which surely makes it appealing, but when you meet someone and you make some errs and ifs here and there, they are taken back, You must relax and try to find people in person than on the internet. Relax, such things do happen.

[Ikkxs]

Originally Posted by kinghtalexis

There seems to be no problem here, what i think is that you are going on written conversation first and then going on oral which is messing up. Thing is that when you are on mail, you edit words, twist it and make it look more presentable which surely makes it appealing, but when you meet someone and you make some errs and ifs here and there, they are taken back, You must relax and try to find people in person than on the internet. Relax, such things do happen.

Thanks for the comment.

I think a lot has to do with trying to connect to the wrong girls. I'm really working hard on improving myself that it's hard to connect with girls who are younger or my age as they are in a different kind of vibe.

[Clint Cora]

If you can, try to get some feedback from platonic female friends if you have any. Spend some time with them and ask them for their honest opinions. This is one of the best benefits of having platonic friends of the opposite sex.

[Ikkxs]

Originally Posted by Clint Cora

If you can, try to get some feedback from platonic female friends if you have any. Spend some time with them and ask them for their honest opinions. This is one of the best benefits of having platonic friends of the opposite sex.

That's what I do now. Ask feedback from everywhere as it helps me to understand that I'm an intelligent, nice person to be around with.

[Brutha]

What are you talking about which the girls on dates? Do you talk about meaningful issues?
Do you flirt with the girl?

[BillieAnn]

Accidentally I found something on this topic, check this:
datinginthezone's Channel - YouTube

[absentmindfulness]

It sounds like these women are avoiding you because you gave them no reason to come back for a second date. The hard truth about dating, and human interaction in general, is that someone is only going to be attracted to you if they feel like you bring some kind of value to their life. Think about what you bring to the table as far as dating is concerned. Are you a good conversationalist? Do you have interesting things to say? Can you create rapport and keep it moving in a positive direction? Are you more focused on yourself and your own needs or the needs of the other person? A lot of success with the opposite sex comes down to your ability to pay attention to situational factors. If you can handle your own emotions as well as those of the person you're trying to attract, you will be successful.

Finally, the most important thing to ask yourself is WHY you want to improve your dating situation. Are you doing this for yourself, to get more validation and/or pleasure from women, or others, in order to give women the gift of yourself? Be as honest with yourself as you can. You may find yourself reevaluating your whole life in the process, but that's a good thing.

Remember, bad results are only feedback, and you get out what you put in. Best of luck!

[Million Dollar Man]

I suggest you write her a romantic poem, light candles..and then read it to her under the moon while she drinks some red wine.