[ADULT] Split thread: Porn (actors, effects, attitudes toward)

[Agota]

Originally Posted by TinaC

You say you don’t like slut bashing and you make a comment like this. If this gal is smart like you said why should she get out of strip clubs when they are such a great place to work at? I mean she’s using her body for money and that’s a smart thing to do. Your post insulates there is something wrong with being a stripper.

Wow, it's amazing how people can distort your words

I made that comment because Danisoov didn't seem to be happy about working in that industry and I got an impression that she feels that her intelligence is going to waste. Therefore, I asked whether she is considering other career choices. I'd ask the same if a nurse or a baker would give me an impression that they're not quite satisfied with their current industry and would ask for my opinion on their situation. Does that make any sense?

Also, assuming that you've read an original post in that thread, you should have noticed the circumstances in which Danisoov got into a stripping industry and general underlying issues in her life. Taking this into consideration, it does seems to me that it would be a good decision for Danisoov to step back, think what she really wants from life and then make decisions accordingly. I think that the right choice is a conscious choice, no matter whether it would be leaving the industry or staying in it.

There was no judgement from my side on that comment, therefore please don't distort my words.

Look, you're obviously free to express your opinion whatever it might be on these forums, but seriously, projecting your own judgmental attitudes on others is not cool, especially when it comes to threads where people are dealing with serious issues and need understanding, not judgement.

[MariconesUnited]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I had to laugh when you said it was like picking out groceries though...it made me think of cucumbers and carrots for some reason *whistles innocently*

Don't forget the buns and the six packs!!

Originally Posted by elucidate

That was my perception at one stage, and honestly, I often wondered if those guys were going overboard with their liberation? It seemed an almost unhealthy obsession from my point of view...but then, I may not have had a realistic over view of the lifestyle from the start?

It can be unhealthy. It's called sex addiction and it's very real. It's the same with any intensely pleasurable activity really.

I must say I'm somewhat surprised at you mentioning a ''lifestyle''. Particularly in the US, the word comes back frequently. It's used by those who think being gay is a choice, therefore, it is immoral. Nevermind that the logic doesn't make any sense.

I am giving a very slanted overview of the community here. We're talking about porn after all. Gay people come from all walks of life, including those people you would not expect. Professional sports, religion, politics, police officers, firemen, teachers, anywhere really. Some are very religious. Most are not.

Originally Posted by elucidate

I have heard guys call other guys in the scene 'whores' and 'sluts' and call themselves these names as well, in a funny way...sort of like how black people will use the 'N' word to refer to each other, because they can.

Hell yeah! We takin' back the ''f'' word hahaha. And I'm on a personal crusade to take back the ''m'' word mwahaha!

As an aside, the word ''whore'' is derogatory in nature. It may not be explicitly stated as such in a dictionary definition, but that doesn't stop the world at large from using it in that way.

Originally Posted by elucidate

Again, I'm sure there are ALL types of guys that live this lifestyle and surely not all of them are promiscuous?

Far from it.

Getting back to porn, I wonder why this discrepancy in views between men and women? To those who find porn degrading, are guys just as degraded in the movies? I think anatomy has something to do with it. I think some people will interpret a girl doing doggie style or getting on her knees as degrading, but it's just an expression of sex and pleasure.

I think the feminist movement has something to do with it. To some people I suppose feminism means getting women out of porn (an impossible task). To others it means empowering women to make their conscious choices, including porn. In any event I find the discrepancy fascinating. Whenever someone complains about porn, it's about the depiction of women.

Anyone opposed to the objectification of men? Not me! Nothing wrong with objectifying other people or yourself. We're moving objects are we not? We objectify people for modelling and all kinds of other stage performances and no one objects to it. There's an inherent danger of course: that people will not see anything more than the object. That's an argument for raising awareness though, not against objectifying people.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by MariconesUnited

Don't forget the buns and the six packs!!

How could I?

I must say I'm somewhat surprised at you mentioning a ''lifestyle''. Particularly in the US, the word comes back frequently. It's used by those who think being gay is a choice, therefore, it is immoral. Nevermind that the logic doesn't make any sense.

Hmmm, I guess I didn't really think about the connotations behind the word 'lifestyle', and I didn't realize it is used that way in the U.S. I definitely don't think being gay is a choice, so I think I was speaking more about the club and sex culture that many men in the scene live for.

My apologies if it was offensive to you though.

I am giving a very slanted overview of the community here. We're talking about porn after all. Gay people come from all walks of life, including those people you would not expect. Professional sports, religion, politics, police officers, firemen, teachers, anywhere really. Some are very religious. Most are not.

Ya. I've met gay men that didn't put on the effeminate voices or dress with 'flair' or act in any way in a stereotypical fashion. One guy I lived with liked football, beer and hot cars (which are all the symbols of any hetero male in Australia), and he was gay and into dressing up in drag and performing,so...you really can't tell.

Getting back to porn, I wonder why this discrepancy in views between men and women? To those who find porn degrading, are guys just as degraded in the movies? I think anatomy has something to do with it. I think some people will interpret a girl doing doggie style or getting on her knees as degrading, but it's just an expression of sex and pleasure.

It's things like the 'money shots' (is that what they're called?) when the women offers her face up for the man's cum, that many women find degrading, I've observed. I think I remember I used to think that too, when I was about 17-18? Getting pounded might not appeal to everyone, and visually it might seem degrading to the females watching, but many women love this in their private lives, so it can't just be from porn's influence?

I think the feminist movement has something to do with it. To some people I suppose feminism means getting women out of porn (an impossible task). To others it means empowering women to make their conscious choices, including porn. In any event I find the discrepancy fascinating. Whenever someone complains about porn, it's about the depiction of women.

There are many different expressions of feminism, you're right. Not all agree with each other either. Men don't cop it as much I think as there is the perception that they are just dirty anyway, so you'd expect to see them in porn...almost like a "they can't help it, they're men...what do you expect" mentality?

Anyone opposed to the objectification of men? Not me! Nothing wrong with objectifying other people or yourself. We're moving objects are we not? We objectify people for modelling and all kinds of other stage performances and no one objects to it. There's an inherent danger of course: that people will not see anything more than the object. That's an argument for raising awareness though, not against objectifying people.

Yep, we are objects. It's when men start seeing women as purely objects and without any other qualities, that the problem arises. Perhaps it is women assuming that all men are affected by porn in the same way, and do view women in only a sexual way?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Agota

Wow, it's amazing how people can distort your words

Yes, I almost posted the same thing, but thought I'd leave it for you to deal with.

[GaryMichaels]

Originally Posted by elucidate

No need to apologize. I wasn't confused...or at least, I can't remember now if I was?



Oh no, I wasn't meaning it that way at all. I'm sure you know better if your family are fun or not.

I was raised Catholic, and as I started to question things in my teens I became aware of the way so many people of the christian faith are controlled through fear and guilt...and it always seemed that God was promoting that people feel bad all the time and not have fun...I wasn't saying, or meaning, that all people who are christian are not fun. Lets face it...feeling guilty and living in fear of the devil and hell isn't fun!

I hope this is clearer.

Thanks elucidate

To say my Fiancée is fun would be an understatement. Sometimes I wonder if she is insane because she does the craziest things when you least expect them and we have people starting at us when we are out but it doesn’t bother her. For a woman that is supposed to be twenty eight she still acts like she is eighteen and most people think she is. Our daughter’s teacher actually thought Hailey was Courtney’s older sister and was very surprised when she told her she was her Mother. I am usually the mature one in our relationship most days and I have no problem with that.

We can’t go to expensive restaurants anymore because we kept getting kicked out. Hailey likes being loud and she thinks it is fun to cause scenes. The last time we went to a decent one was last year at a Chinese restaurant where Hailey decided to throw a drink in my face for fun. She literally fell of her chair laughing at me and the waiter asked me if she had been drinking alcohol and I said no, this is how she usually is. She doesn’t respect the knife or the fork when we are out and prefers to use her hands unless she has to use them and burps very loudly. Our first date in a restaurant ended in a food fight which I will admit I started but I had absolutely no idea she was going to go that far.

Have you ever tried doing snow angels in the middle of a shopping mall without the snow? We have and people had to walk around us because Hailey thought it was fun. The other day when we were at the fruit shop Hailey accidentally knocked over a heap of apples which went all over the floor and she wanted to try skating on them and we had to pay for them. I took her to see Def Leppard with Heart and the Choirboys when they toured a few weeks ago and Hailey sang her lungs out when Heart were on the stage and decided to do an Elaine type of dance which was hilarious

When she was in hospital a few years back she got in trouble with the nurses because she wouldn’t stop pressing the button and when they came in she would tell them it wasn’t her and blame me for it. There was an old woman in the same room as her and she requested a transfer to another room because Hailey made moaning noises in the night for a joke. She usually likes to charge at me some days and knocks me off my feet. It started back in college when we saw each other in the mornings and I would land on the grass while she was giggling on top of me.

I could list a million crazy things she has done over the years but she doesn’t do a lot of them in front of Courtney because she doesn’t want her copying what she is doing. I get what you are saying and living in fear of the devil isn’t fun at all but that doesn’t really bother Hailey so much. She isn’t one of those Christian extremist that push their religion down your throat. She is the kindest women I have met and she has a heart the size of an ocean. I understand why she likes being a Christian too.

[MariconesUnited]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Hmmm, I guess I didn't really think about the connotations behind the word 'lifestyle', and I didn't realize it is used that way in the U.S. I definitely don't think being gay is a choice, so I think I was speaking more about the club and sex culture that many men in the scene live for.

My apologies if it was offensive to you though.

More annoyed than offended. But then, I had a feeling there was no ill feeling behind it. Whaddaya know I was right! No harm done

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

Thanks elucidate

To say my Fiancée is fun would be an understatement. Sometimes I wonder if she is insane because she does the craziest things when you least expect them and we have people starting at us when we are out but it doesn’t bother her. For a woman that is supposed to be twenty eight she still acts like she is eighteen and most people think she is. Our daughter’s teacher actually thought Hailey was Courtney’s older sister and was very surprised when she told her she was her Mother. I am usually the mature one in our relationship most days and I have no problem with that.

We can’t go to expensive restaurants anymore because we kept getting kicked out. Hailey likes being loud and she thinks it is fun to cause scenes. The last time we went to a decent one was last year at a Chinese restaurant where Hailey decided to throw a drink in my face for fun. She literally fell of her chair laughing at me and the waiter asked me if she had been drinking alcohol and I said no, this is how she usually is. She doesn’t respect the knife or the fork when we are out and prefers to use her hands unless she has to use them and burps very loudly. Our first date in a restaurant ended in a food fight which I will admit I started but I had absolutely no idea she was going to go that far.

Have you ever tried doing snow angels in the middle of a shopping mall without the snow? We have and people had to walk around us because Hailey thought it was fun. The other day when we were at the fruit shop Hailey accidentally knocked over a heap of apples which went all over the floor and she wanted to try skating on them and we had to pay for them. I took her to see Def Leppard with Heart and the Choirboys when they toured a few weeks ago and Hailey sang her lungs out when Heart were on the stage and decided to do an Elaine type of dance which was hilarious

When she was in hospital a few years back she got in trouble with the nurses because she wouldn’t stop pressing the button and when they came in she would tell them it wasn’t her and blame me for it. There was an old woman in the same room as her and she requested a transfer to another room because Hailey made moaning noises in the night for a joke. She usually likes to charge at me some days and knocks me off my feet. It started back in college when we saw each other in the mornings and I would land on the grass while she was giggling on top of me.

I could list a million crazy things she has done over the years but she doesn’t do a lot of them in front of Courtney because she doesn’t want her copying what she is doing. I get what you are saying and living in fear of the devil isn’t fun at all but that doesn’t really bother Hailey so much. She isn’t one of those Christian extremist that push their religion down your throat. She is the kindest women I have met and she has a heart the size of an ocean. I understand why she likes being a Christian too.

She sounds fun. I like crazy people...the harmless crazy ones anyway.

[GaryMichaels]

Same here.

Give me a crazy woman any day over a plain Jane. Normal people are too boring and I need a girl as kooky as me to knock me off my feet.

[elucidate]

All Hail the Kooks!

[GaryMichaels]

This is a song by the Wilkinsons that basically describes both me and Hailey

Sometimes I cry and I don't know
Guess, I just feel like being blue
Sometimes I lie in the warm sunshine
And look at clouds like children do

Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I pout
I haven't figured myself out
I guess there isn't any doubt

I'm just occasionally crazy
Occasionally crazy
Just occasionally

If I like to kiss in the pouring rain
It doesn't mean that I'm insane
If I crack up at an inisde joke
I guess it only goes to show

I can make fun of myself
I don't need anybody's help
Deep down inside I've always felt

I'm just occasionally crazy
Occasionally crazy
Just occasionally

If you can handle me the way I am
Accept my eccentricities and understand
I'm not always all there
And sometimes I drift off somewhere

But we might be the perfect pair
If only you're occasionally crazy

If you can handle me the way I am
Accept my eccentricities and understand
I'm not always all there
And sometimes I drift off somewhere

But we might be the perfect pair
If only you're occasionally crazy
Occasionally crazy

Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I pout
I haven't figured myself out
I guess there isn't any doubt
That I'm occasionally crazy

Occasionally crazy
Just occasionally