Nice way to avoid job interview questions on dating sites

[BillyTheAdult]

Not that I've even been on any of these sites for that long but I've noticed a pattern that seems to be coming up more and more as time goes by. Either I send a girl a message or she sends me one, and after my response I get some tired old job interview question comes back into my inbox like "What would you say is the most important thing someone should know about you?" or "How would your best friend describe you in four words?" or as I usually mention that I'm into meditation and spirituality I've even gotten "What is the most spiritual lesson you've ever learned?" I'm thinking this is a strategy that must be taught in Cosmo or other womens dating advice material given it's regularity.

Is this in fact a widely taught strategy (to those of you who know) and what is the best way to politely decline answering such a question while still preserving any potential chance for a date. I just feel like I am looking for someone to share a relationship with and not applying for a position.

[Kait]

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

Not that I've even been on any of these sites for that long but I've noticed a pattern that seems to be coming up more and more as time goes by. Either I send a girl a message or she sends me one, and after my response I get some tired old job interview question comes back into my inbox like "What would you say is the most important thing someone should know about you?" or "How would your best friend describe you in four words?" or as I usually mention that I'm into meditation and spirituality I've even gotten "What is the most spiritual lesson you've ever learned?" I'm thinking this is a strategy that must be taught in Cosmo or other womens dating advice material given it's regularity.

Is this in fact a widely taught strategy (to those of you who know) and what is the best way to politely decline answering such a question while still preserving any potential chance for a date. I just feel like I am looking for someone to share a relationship with and not applying for a position.

Hi, I am a 43 yr old woman and I have been on dating sites too. I always thought this was a way to "break the ice" to get a conversation started...I think when you can't answer these questions, women (such as I) think you are hiding something. I don't take it, as you being interviewed. Its something I generally what to know...If its something you truly don't want to answer, then say, I'm sorry, but I decline to answer. I'm not applying for a position...but your're still going to be "questioned" even with the first date.. I'm I right?

[BillyTheAdult]

Originally Posted by Kait

Hi, I am a 43 yr old woman and I have been on dating sites too. I always thought this was a way to "break the ice" to get a conversation started...I think when you can't answer these questions, women (such as I) think you are hiding something. I don't take it, as you being interviewed. Its something I generally what to know...If its something you truly don't want to answer, then say, I'm sorry, but I decline to answer. I'm not applying for a position...but your're still going to "questioned" even with the first date.. I'm I right?

First thanks for the response.

Yeah I realize I'm going to get questioned. It's not being questioned that I mind, I'm surely gonna ask a few of my own. It's just that these questions seem so canned. They're dishonest, not in the way of directly lying dishonesty, but like they are not genuine. It doesn't seem like they actually care about the answer, they are just asking for the sake of asking, which makes it hard to give a good genuine answer. I feel like it's just the wrong foot to start out on. I've tried explaining this a few times with mixed results, usually the woman at that point the woman disappears, once or twice they've appreciated the directness and honesty. I have never actually ended up going on a date with a woman who asked one, which I think maybe has something to do with them not actually really being ready to meet guys from dating sites. Usually the women I meet are pretty open to the idea of meting from the get go which is honestly what I'm looking for, but that's all just speculation on my part.

[OptimistPrime]

Just because someone asks you something that sounds like a canned question, it doesn't necessarily mean they're treating you like a job applicant. They might just not be very good at thinking up questions that sound more heartfelt and natural, at least when talking to a stranger. Also, perhaps they've been taught (or learned from experience) that when you're first getting to know someone, canned questions make good conversation-starters, like Kait said.

[Kait]

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

First thanks for the response.

Yeah I realize I'm going to get questioned. It's not being questioned that I mind, I'm surely gonna ask a few of my own. It's just that these questions seem so canned. They're dishonest, not in the way of directly lying dishonesty, but like they are not genuine. It doesn't seem like they actually care about the answer, they are just asking for the sake of asking, which makes it hard to give a good genuine answer. I feel like it's just the wrong foot to start out on. I've tried explaining this a few times with mixed results, usually the woman at that point the woman disappears, once or twice they've appreciated the directness and honesty. I have never actually ended up going on a date with a woman who asked one, which I think maybe has something to do with them not actually really being ready to meet guys from dating sites. Usually the women I meet are pretty open to the idea of meting from the get go which is honestly what I'm looking for, but that's all just speculation on my part.

Okay..

"What would you say is the most important thing someone should know about you?"

This is a great question. What is NOT genuine about this question? A woman wants to know what the most important thing SHE should know about you.
SO...are you kind, smart, loyal, giving, Do you care about your health? This questions can take you in alot of different directions in communication...

Think about these questions. Give them heart, your heart...and then answer them honestly.

I'm guessing THAT your are the guy that doesn't need these questions to HELP you start a good converstation, am I right?

There are alot of people that are shy and OH my....that don't know the first thing, of what to say. It call social anxiety..lol This is why you have these questions...