unusual passions...

[elucidate]

Has anyone here ever ended up having really passionate sex with someone they totally detested?

I'm curious, as to the dynamic that occurs when two people who are needing something that only they can give each other, but in their lives actually they hate each other and are enemies. Sort of like how two sworn enemies will end up friends at some point in that strange way that life has with things.

Does this even happen in real life, or have I been watching too much Buffy?

It's never happened to me per say, but I thought I'd ask here and see if anyone comes forward with a story...

[Lukas]

Did you hear about hate and love being the same?

Hate has such a bad reputation, though it's really honest in contrast to what many other people do.

This situation can come up when a couple is in an argument, you know those movies scenes where they throw bad words at each other just to have a blink in each others eyes and then to have passionate sex.

Another example is the Stockholm Syndrome, where the victim 'falls in love' with the kidnapper.

The other way round does work as well, you know how love between two people can turn into passionate hate after breaking up?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Lukas

Did you hear about hate and love being the same?

Hate has such a bad reputation, though it's really honest in contrast to what many other people do.

This situation can come up when a couple is in an argument, you know those movies scenes where they throw bad words at each other just to have a blink in each others eyes and then to have passionate sex.

Another example is the Stockholm Syndrome, where the victim 'falls in love' with the kidnapper.

The other way round does work as well, you know how love between two people can turn into passionate hate after breaking up?

Oh sure, I'm aware of the dual nature of love and hate in a relationship. Passionate make-up sex wasn't what I was thinking of though.

I was speaking more of two people who aren't involved at all...that is, they are enemies and hate each other, but yet somehow end up having wild crazy dark-side sex one night, which is totally unexpected to both of them.

Does this happen ever?

I've never heard of it, but that doesn't mean it's never happened...

[Agota]

Blaire and Chuck in "Gossip Girl"!

No, never happened to me. I have also never heard about anything like that happening to anyone I know. I think it's more of a TV/Cinema thing..

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Agota

Blaire and Chuck in "Gossip Girl"!

No, never happened to me. I have also never heard about anything like that happening to anyone I know. I think it's more of a TV/Cinema thing..

Probably right there. I had the scene in Buffy when Spike and Buffy got it on, in my head, and the whole house came tumbling down...literally. Obviously that doesn't happen, but it got me thinking whether things like that ever do happen to some people out there...

I know that some people become best friends after being sworn enemies in real life. This happened to my brother, so I wondered if it happens with sex as well?

[Agota]

Lol, house came tumbling down.. It's like in Twillight where Rosalie (I think) mocked Edward and Bella for doing it wrong, because she and her boyfriend destroyed a house when they got together. It's good that vampires seem to have money to buy new furniture and in some cases new houses after having sex

Intense anger can trigger attraction, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, but I think pride would get in most people's way in real life situations.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Agota

Lol, house came tumbling down.. It's like in Twillight where Rosalie (I think) mocked Edward and Bella for doing it wrong, because she and her boyfriend destroyed a house when they got together. It's good that vampires seem to have money to buy new furniture and in some cases new houses after having sex

Intense anger can trigger attraction, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, but I think pride would get in most people's way in real life situations.

haha...yes, it's funny how vampires come up with all this money to do whatever they want...destroy houses then buy new ones. I suppose they are evil, and would therefore rob banks or kill rich people and take their stash?

In Buffy, Spike was hassling her for coming back from the dead wrong and half demon, so of course she start beating on him, and being a creature of the darkness, getting beaten is kinda what he likes...so, she was turning him on without realizing it, and then before they knew it, they were doing it like bunnies and fell through the floor(;

Your second paragraph was more what I was looking for I guess. Many people find sexual attraction that light and fun, flirty thing...but darker, more intense emotions can be a turn on for some I think. I hadn't thought about the pride thing stopping them though...you might be right there?

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Has anyone here ever ended up having really passionate sex with someone they totally detested?

I'm curious, as to the dynamic that occurs when two people who are needing something that only they can give each other, but in their lives actually they hate each other and are enemies. Sort of like how two sworn enemies will end up friends at some point in that strange way that life has with things.

Does this even happen in real life, or have I been watching too much Buffy?

It's never happened to me per say, but I thought I'd ask here and see if anyone comes forward with a story...

Originally Posted by elucidate

haha...yes, it's funny how vampires come up with all this money to do whatever they want...destroy houses then buy new ones. I suppose they are evil, and would therefore rob banks or kill rich people and take their stash?

In Buffy, Spike was hassling her for coming back from the dead wrong and half demon, so of course she start beating on him, and being a creature of the darkness, getting beaten is kinda what he likes...so, she was turning him on without realizing it, and then before they knew it, they were doing it like bunnies and fell through the floor(;

Your second paragraph was more what I was looking for I guess. Many people find sexual attraction that light and fun, flirty thing...but darker, more intense emotions can be a turn on for some I think. I hadn't thought about the pride thing stopping them though...you might be right there?

The only time I have seen what you describe is with men who (usually brought up religious and married) detest homosexuals and homosexuality but find themselves attracted to men. Usually not in romantic ways, but in deep depraved and violent sexual way. They usually hide it for years from others and even themselves. You will be surprised how many men think as long as they are doing it to others and not others doing it to them it makes them not gay.

But this is the only context where I see people indulge in passions they detest and yet find themselves drawn to it. And they sometimes truly detest homosexuality while undercover of darkness look for men. I have heard this about straight men who rape males. At first it never made sense and I never believed it, but I friend of mine explained that it happens alot

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Orecle

The only time I have seen what you describe is with men who (usually brought up religious and married) detest homosexuals and homosexuality but find themselves attracted to men. Usually not in romantic ways, but in deep depraved and violent sexual way. They usually hide it for years from others and even themselves. You will be surprised how many men think as long as they are doing it to others and not others doing it to them it makes them not gay.

Interesting.

So you mean that men who will perform anal sex on other men don't consider this to be enough to make them gay, but only if it is done to them, then it is?

That sure is an interesting way to twist things in your own head to make it ok.

But this is the only context where I see people indulge in passions they detest and yet find themselves drawn to it. And they sometimes truly detest homosexuality while undercover of darkness look for men. I have heard this about straight men who rape males. At first it never made sense and I never believed it, but I friend of mine explained that it happens alot

And it's so fascinating from the perspective of those people really loathing that part of themselves and yet acting it out, with a justification to make it ok. It seems like it's an internal conflict for them between what they have been conditioned to think and what their desires tell them.

I had heard of this, and I've even wondered if my brother is like this, as he is always dissing gay men and seems obsessed with homophobia...yet he moved into a place in the most heavily populated gay male area in melbourne and lives across the road from a gay pub?

Thankyou for your input Orecle.

[nothuman]

Wow ...... too much Buffy. Hahahahahaha
However you do encounter people who like to play act sexually in an aggressive way and this may be because they associate sex with aggression. But this is normally over when the sex act is over.
I have yet to know of people having sex together who genuinely hate each other.
But I still wonder about the female praying mantis' habit of eating her mates head after sex.

[TonyToneTone]

No, turn Buffy off

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

No, turn Buffy off

But Buffy ROCKS!

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by nothuman

But I still wonder about the female praying mantis' habit of eating her mates head after sex.

That reminds me of another Buffy episode.

Oh man...I got it bad.

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by elucidate

But Buffy ROCKS!

Indeed!

[nothuman]

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Haha...yep, that's the scene I think.

They literally brought the house down. It was kinda cool.

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Haha...yep, that's the scene I think.

They literally brought the house down. It was kinda cool.

Theres something really appealing about vampires having sex.......

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Theres something really appealing about vampires having sex.......

Yeah...all that passion and blood sport. Accidentally biting their lover half way through the act and drinking her blood, and then going..."Oh dear"

Sexy!

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Yeah...all that passion and blood sport. Accidentally biting their lover half way through the act and drinking her blood, and then going..."Oh dear"

Sexy!

Ok Ok you are gonna have to excuse me for a while hahahahahahahaha

[Agota]

Originally Posted by Orecle

The only time I have seen what you describe is with men who (usually brought up religious and married) detest homosexuals and homosexuality but find themselves attracted to men. Usually not in romantic ways, but in deep depraved and violent sexual way. They usually hide it for years from others and even themselves. You will be surprised how many men think as long as they are doing it to others and not others doing it to them it makes them not gay.

This logic is really weird, but it seems to be widespread: I mean, in prisons or in army men who rape other men don't consider themselves to be gay. I have no idea how they ignore the fact that they're actually forcing other men to have anal sex with them. How are people able to think that they're straight when raping other men?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Agota

This logic is really weird, but it seems to be widespread: I mean, in prisons or in army men who rape other men don't consider themselves to be gay. I have no idea how they ignore the fact that they're actually forcing other men to have anal sex with them. How are people able to think that they're straight when raping other men?

I think they justify it by seeing it more as an act of domination, rather than gaining enjoyment from the actual act itself. It's more about breaking the man down and asserting that they are the Boss in that environment. I think it's like a sick initiation thing when a new person is incarcerated? Having never been a man in prison though I couldn't say for sure...but it is weird how they can think of themselves as hetero after doing that. I don't get it?