My sister is consuming drugs, how do I deal with this?

[WatchTheThrone]

Hi everyone

I just found out my little sister (17 years old) has been smoking marijuana on a regular basis. This is quite surprising for me, I have talked to her about it and he promised me she didnt consumed any type of drug.

I trusted her even though I have suspected she was consuming because of her new friends and the way she has been behaving.

Im afraid she might progress and start consuming different drugs like cocaine or other dangerous stuff.

Im 22 years old and very involved in personal development, discipline, self improvement and internet marketing, so we are like in totally different places in life.

I dont really know how to deal with this situation, my mom is totally against drugs and alcohol (my dad is an alcoholic), so I dont think I should tell her about this situation. She would go crazy

How would you handle this? Im confused

Thanks a lot!

[superfoodist]

Nothing wrong with marijuana in moderation. It's better then her drinking and driving to parties with her friends, right?

Besides, marijuana isn't really a "drug" to begin with, it's a plant - and it can even eventually cause some people to go on a spiritual, or self-development journey.

Not everyone that smokes marijuana moves on to hardcore drugs. Talk to her about it, and make sure she doesn't get involved with the chemical substances like cocaine, exstacy, etc, and it shouldn't be too big of a deal.

Don't take my advice though, use your best judgement and do what feels right to YOU.

[WatchTheThrone]

Originally Posted by superfoodist

Nothing wrong with marijuana in moderation. It's better then her drinking and driving to parties with her friends, right?

Besides, marijuana isn't really a "drug" to begin with, it's a plant - and it can even eventually cause some people to go on a spiritual, or self-development journey.

Not everyone that smokes marijuana moves on to hardcore drugs. Talk to her about it, and make sure she doesn't get involved with the chemical substances like cocaine, exstacy, etc, and it shouldn't be too big of a deal.

Don't take my advice though, use your best judgement and do what feels right to YOU.

Thanks. I know a lot of people use marijuana for recreational and positive stuff, but I dont think she uses it that way.

I guess I will talk to her about it in a friendly way so she can explain me everything.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by WatchTheThrone

Thanks. I know a lot of people use marijuana for recreational and positive stuff, but I dont think she uses it that way.

Then don't talk to her about the drugs, talk to her about why she's using them. Since marijuana isn't addictive, she should be able to stop once she has no reason to keep smoking unless she already has a good reason.

[frosting]

I'm 23 and use to smoke a lot of pot. A LOT. It's really not that big of a deal.


At 17, everyone is smoking pot. About 75% percent of people I would say with confidence at that age has at least tried it. I wouldn't go as far to say it's a drug myself. It's cake compared to worse things out there.

You could of course, talk to her about your concern of harder drugs. Pot really isn't as much of a gateway drug as people claim. People who want to do harder drugs will. I've found from my experience it's more personality based if and when people do harder things. Many people I've known have kept it to only using pot and nothing harder.

With all that of the way, look into the facts of harder drugs like heroin, coke, meth and so on. Talk to her as a friend, her sister, not her mother. Trying to play "mom" is not going to do you any favors here. Have the conversation about how addictive worse drugs are. Just let her know you are concerned she may do drugs that actually will ruin her life. Try not to lecture that will push her away from really taking in what you have to say. Re-assure her you are only saying it out of love and concern for her safety, you'd hate to see her go down a path that will take years to recover from, ect. Best of luck!

[Harmonium]

I am probably in a small minority but I am addicted to weed, it's pretty much my benzo/medicine. It definitely opened me up to try new things, I was closed down to everything when I was just getting into highschool, opened up to weed first then towards the end of highschool I tried stuff like LSD, Ecstasy, painkillers a handful of times, and had been prescribed adderall. I probably would have never tried the LSD/E if I had never opened to trying weed, but I don't regret it.

Maybe you should smoke a little weed with her? but really if it was me my family would have had a lot more influence on me if they didn't try to outright control me without providing the logic to it.

[Mariana Trench]

My little brother's been doing drugs since he was...nine-ish (no, I didn't know about it til he was 13). He's done hard stuff, got addicted, quit--different things, a couple times. I never worry when he smokes weed--I always feel like he's safe (by how he acts) and that's rarely the case for other drugs. Seriously, that has got to be the best thing for a family member to be on if they're self medicating. (I do worry when he drinks, but maybe that's cause I've seen too much vomit).

I don't tell my parents either. They've caught him doing various stuff at various times, but I never incriminate him. Here's why. If you want to keep your sister safe, she's already got people that have told her "drugs are bad", because pretty much everyone has heard that. It's clearly not had an effect. It's rarer to have a responsible adult that doesn't judge you, so you can come to them if you really f*&^ yourself up, and that will help you in a situation like that. It's my opinion you'll do more for her safety and long term well being if you can be that. That doesn't mean you have to hold back your opinion entirely, that you worry about her, etc... but make sure -you- are a safe person, that she feels comfortable telling you the truth of her life.

And it is her life, and her choice what to do with it.

[Mariana Trench]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Then don't talk to her about the drugs, talk to her about why she's using them. Since marijuana isn't addictive, she should be able to stop once she has no reason to keep smoking unless she already has a good reason.

This too.

[ZephyrusX]

I really like this advise.

You can't make choices for another person. You can give them a safe place to turn to if they need help by letting them know that you will talk to them without passing judgment upon their behaviour.

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

I don't tell my parents either. They've caught him doing various stuff at various times, but I never incriminate him. Here's why. If you want to keep your sister safe, she's already got people that have told her "drugs are bad", because pretty much everyone has heard that. It's clearly not had an effect. It's rarer to have a responsible adult that doesn't judge you, so you can come to them if you really f*&^ yourself up, and that will help you in a situation like that. It's my opinion you'll do more for her safety and long term well being if you can be that. That doesn't mean you have to hold back your opinion entirely, that you worry about her, etc... but make sure -you- are a safe person, that she feels comfortable telling you the truth of her life.

And it is her life, and her choice what to do with it.

[nothuman]

Having gone down that road and knowing others that have as well understand that drugs are used to mask pain.
Sounds simple but it can give you greater compassion and understanding when trying to help her. Obviously there is something causing her emotional pain that drugs can help elleviate for a while. Happy people don't take drugs.

[Wombels]

Originally Posted by WatchTheThrone

Hi everyone

I just found out my little sister (17 years old) has been smoking marijuana on a regular basis.

Under the age of 20, it's not that advisable for various reasons, the main reason would be the brain still being in a wiring process, like a tree growing branches, when influenced or induced by drugs this process might get disturbed.

[elucidate]

Many people who start up smoking weed in their late teens will work out at some stage that after a few years, it's kinda boring, and dulls their mind, though at first it opened them up to many things...and they will stop.

They may also experiment with other drugs considered to be "hard', but not all will, and I don't think marijuana is a "gateway drug" so much...although I did try lots of other things after first trying weed, and so have many other people.

I don't know that it necessarily starts out being something people do because they aren't happy and are in pain. Drugs are fun, and some people do drugs purely for this reason. Most people do them to escape though, and they are in pain and not facing their issues, so it does end up being that way for many people who take drugs.

I hoped my brother would come to realize that he was abusing weed and other drugs at some point, and he has, but it doesn't stop him from continuing with it. I've been there too, and it's a perverse desire to take drugs whilst knowing that it keeps you down...there is pleasure in that, as crazy and nonsensical as it sounds to straight people.

Everyone has to come to their own conclusions about things, and this includes drugs. If people don't ever conclude that drugs are ultimately not necessary, and keep taking them, then it's no one elses business to try and force that on them. It's their life and they can ruin it if they want, though it's hard to watch it happen from the position of a family member or friend. It's their lesson and they need to go through it.

I can see that this would be hard for you to witness in your sister, if you are the opposite and into clean living, but trust that she will work it out at some point and leave her be...that's the only thing you can do. If she doesn't, then it's not up to you to make her get it, as hard as that is to grasp from your point of view.

Being there for her if she needs you is all you can do.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Having gone down that road and knowing others that have as well understand that drugs are used to mask pain.
Sounds simple but it can give you greater compassion and understanding when trying to help her. Obviously there is something causing her emotional pain that drugs can help elleviate for a while. Happy people don't take drugs.

While I have smoked weed to alleviate emotional pain, much more often I did it just because it's fun. It isn't necessarily associated with unhappiness.

[abcbac]

You have to confront her about this. Ask her why she is doing weed. Is she doing it for fun or because she is try to hide some sort of pain? If it is for fun they don't worry. If it is the latter, then you need to work something out. Weed is not bad if you do it socially and fun. However, if you start doing it to alleviate pain, it can become a bad habit and become a gateway for harder drugs such as narcotics.

[Mariana Trench]

Originally Posted by abcbac

You have to confront her about this. Ask her why she is doing weed. Is she doing it for fun or because she is try to hide some sort of pain? If it is for fun they don't worry. If it is the latter, then you need to work something out. Weed is not bad if you do it socially and fun. However, if you start doing it to alleviate pain, it can become a bad habit and become a gateway for harder drugs such as narcotics.

No. You can't fix anyone else. One of the worst things he could do would be to try to aggressively suss it out of her. Support her, but you are not responsible for her, and for the love of God don't act like you can make her do something.

She doesn't necessarily know if it's for more reasons than fun either. People need time to work through their issues.

Re, gateway drug. That theory (did it start with Nixon?) was a theory about physical tolerance. That eventually you'd get enough tolerance weed wouldn't be enough and you'd move onto harder stuff. There's no evidence of that. It's pretty much a myth.

People casually use the term "gateway drug" to mean a drug people try first and get their feet wet with. I've seen this a thousand times. And it's largely because it's illegal and now they're in a crowd with dealers.

[ButterflyWoman]

Smoking is bad for your health. Doesn't matter what you're smoking, really. Inhaling burnt plant matter into your lungs is not good for your lungs (or your mouth, throat, etc.).

It's much safer to consume marijuana through some other means like using a vaporiser or putting it into something you eat (brownies or cookies work well, but I've also heard of people putting it in spaghetti sauce).

And before anyone assumes I'm anti-marijuana, I'm not. In fact, I'm pro-legalisation, or at least decriminalisation. I'm just not a fan of smoking of any sort, and given the multitude of ways marijuana can be consumed, it seems sensible to pursue one of those ways rather than smoking it.

If I were in your position, I'd be talking about that, and I'd also be talking to her about why she uses the stuff in the first place. She's probably never thought about it, and maybe if you open a dialogue, she'll have the opportunity to explore that. But I really would try to encourage her to consume it some other way.

Originally Posted by superfoodist

Besides, marijuana isn't really a "drug" to begin with, it's a plant

A lot of drugs are plants. Bark, herbs, nuts of various sorts, seeds, etc., all of these may be drugs or used together with inert substances to make drug compounds. Willow bark, for example, when properly prepared and made into tea, is an anti-inflammatory and pain reliever (and the active component is the same as what they use in aspirin). And then you have nutmeg, which is poisonous in large doses but first it causes hallucinations, and Deadly Nightshade (poisonous in even medium to small doses), and so on. Being a plant does not exclude something from being a drug. In fact, for centuries, plants were pretty much the only drugs people had, other than alcohol.

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

While I have smoked weed to alleviate emotional pain, much more often I did it just because it's fun. It isn't necessarily associated with unhappiness.

Whatever way you view it ...you are choosing a drug reality over your waking reality. Your mind will no doubt attempt to condone it ....look a bit deeper. I don't say this from a position of anti drug smugness. A majority of people don't get into drugs and they still have fun.

[arpee]

If she is using marijuana because she is suffering, maybe you should talk to her.

Don't tell her to stop doing it and don't try to ask about the problem because she may get defensive and withdraw from you; instead, just say this "The marijuana doesn't solve anything because when you sober up the feelings are still there, but I you have my support no matter what you wanna do and I'm here to talk if you want to ". Don't try to control her, just tell her this and let her be and stop worrying.

[Partaker]

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

No. You can't fix anyone else. One of the worst things he could do would be to try to aggressively suss it out of her. Support her, but you are not responsible for her, and for the love of God don't act like you can make her do something.

She doesn't necessarily know if it's for more reasons than fun either. People need time to work through their issues.

I agree with Mariana and understand your concern for your sister.

I'd be there for her with an open mind and not tell - I don't believe that marijuana is a gateway drug but if she does pick up more serious unhealthy drug habits it would be great for her to have her older brother making sure she doesn't go to far.

[WatchTheThrone]

Thanks everyone for your tips, very helpful!

[WatchTheThrone]

Hi

Just a quick update on my situation....

My mom found out about this, but everything now is more complicated. She found like a paper I dont know exactly what where my sister basically says she consumes not only marijuana but "other substances", this was a little shock even for me, I thought she was only smoking pot.

As you can imagine, my mom feels pretty bad and is seeking help to deal with this. I know this has nothing to do with me and I cant do anything, but I do feel a little sad and dissapointed, specially seeing my mom this way.

Hope everythings turns out good, althought I predict some difficult times in the next weeks.

[Mikennick]

Sorry to hear this. Like you said, not much you can do, beside talking to your sister and offering your support if she want to quit. But if she doesn't, it's all pointless.

[Fred Tracy]

Smoking weed isn't such a bad thing. It Isn't always a gateway drug like they say.

But I can see why you are concerned, particularly if she's just smoking because her friends do it. What if they started doing other things, would she be easily influenced to do that too? I think the best approach is just to talk to her. That's all you can do.

Of course, if she doesn't choose to heed your advice, you can't do much else about it. You have to let people choose their own path, no matter what it may be.

[reekah]

OP, it's not your business. You aren't her mom, just a sister.

Also, as you cite you're enlightened, the first step in enlightenment/personal development is to develop your own life foremost.

And people saying pot isn't a drug lol.... By definition, it is.