Do you prepare what you're gonna say in an interaction?

[quiethumir]

or do you just think on the fly?

For example, when you see someone and while you're walking up to them, do you think about what you're gonna say? or do you keep an empty mind until your right there with them?

[awdye]

It depends on the situation. When my head starts projecting a conversation, I know I have an agenda. Something I need to say or an outcome I want.

Many times I can approach a meeting with an empty mind and it's becoming easier with practice. I like how it feels to approach with simple curiosity and strive for this most of the time.

[Dulma]

I relax and let things happen.

[quiethumir]

What about for those who are not good at improvising or who don't have the best social skills?

[Traikan]

I think what's most useful to prepare are a couple of "silence-killers." These can be plans for the weekend (if you're talking to them on a Friday), whether they say that latest blockbuster movie, what sort of incentive would it take to convince them to go skydiving, things you can bring up to jump topics when the current one peters out. You don't have to bring up any of them, and certainly it's not a checklist that must be completed before you can throw your hands in the air and shout "I won!"

Basically, carry a defibrillator. If the conversation develops cardiac arrhythmia... zap! Otherwise, just let it go where it wants to.

[quiethumir]

Originally Posted by Traikan

I think what's most useful to prepare are a couple of "silence-killers." These can be plans for the weekend (if you're talking to them on a Friday), whether they say that latest blockbuster movie, what sort of incentive would it take to convince them to go skydiving, things you can bring up to jump topics when the current one peters out. You don't have to bring up any of them, and certainly it's not a checklist that must be completed before you can throw your hands in the air and shout "I won!"

Basically, carry a defibrillator. If the conversation develops cardiac arrhythmia... zap! Otherwise, just let it go where it wants to.

haha. I love that.

[Alice Hive]

I usually look for an opening idea in order to start the conversation. Then I let it flow, though.

[spooky]

Life presents us situations where we may or may not prepare ourselves before we speak.

However, it's always better to be a good listener, because if you're busy thinking about what you're going to say, you might miss out on what the other person is saying, which may upset them, even if that wasn't your intention. ALWAYS prepare for speeches though

[Dulma]

Originally Posted by quiethumir

What about for those who are not good at improvising or who don't have the best social skills?

Focus on the context, on your genuine interest in that person, or whatever has brought you to cross paths (are you students at the same school? Coworkers? People at a library? Strangers in a line?). Basically, the more you focus on how you can exhibit stellar social skills or how you can avoid being conversationally awkward, the more awkward it will become and the more pressure you will place on yourself. The more you let that go and focus more on the other person or what naturally interests you in that individual or whatever comes into your mind that you wanna share, then spontaneity and organic, sincere verbal connection will emerge on its own.