|11-09-2011, 11:58 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2011
Difficulty Connecting, Relating to the World, Finding this hard.
HI Guys, Im going to just start of by saying that right now, I;m not actually feeling the best.
I'm feeling very far and different from the the way the world seems to work, and so many people in it.
I;m having difficult mainting some things right now, due to this.
I'd really like to talk about this, share this in an evironment where hopefully I am able to find others who too feel like this and are able to maybe project some insight, or view on how they get through.
Everything I feel, think, want to say, comes out entirely wrong and different o how I really feel. I feel fake, and feel I need to be Fake in order to get through in the world today to survive. Eg WOrk....I have to be the product consumed individual, perky, smily, and help you with your sales..... This couldnt feel more fake, unreal, and stupid to me. But I do it, Because I have to. THis makes me feel angry and sad because I feel I am betraying who I really am every single time I do this either at work, or in the general Public...
Yet I don't know how to get around it....
I find it hard to relate, find others who think, feel, look or view at the world like I do..
I am constantly in the battle of self betrayal doing this, yet I do not know what else it is that I can do...
It is rotten, and I feel like I am living a double Life.
My idea of a world is a magical forrest, creatures, people magic, art, positivity, Like an adventurous studio ghibli film you may have watched or just something nice, magical.......Even these words can be taken in an entirely different light to what I intend as the picture have in my mind may be very different to the picture you have in your mind.
Art is Incredible to me, Film, Meeting others who do not like to live in the way of the world. For this Reason, I like films, Creativeness, expression, bascially creating a world of your own.....
I don't know what to do, what I should be doing with my life because of this, and because it seems a majority of the people are in a you must work build on your career type of mode, anything I seem to want to do, put my focus on, just doesn't seem good enough, or practical enough....Like....music, or.......maybe Id like to design some clothes.
Travel, meet, experience, find like minded people like me... Create video games, play games, Create a magical world...somewhere new, somewhere different, and have this, enjoy this, live with this, and share this.......It is totally different, new fresh and comfortable to me in my mind.....
So I create this as much as I can in my own bedroom, away.....my world.....
How I want.....
And yet sometimes, due to this, I feel very very lonely....
SO hard to connect......
My question is, how do I survive in this world... how to make it, find others, out there like me..... GOing on like this, I can not do.....
It is more when out and at work, when at home doing my own thing I am okay, it is fine.... Occasionally I will feel lonely, but this can be overcome.....
It is more the jepordisation of my truest core when out there in the working, society of the way this world has been set up…..It is difficult because I want the time and need the time to be doing, creating my own stuff….but in that time as I find it so difficult to relate or connect, I do have moments of sadness.
Thank you so much.
|11-10-2011, 12:46 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2011
You sound very young to me...are you? If so this could be a big chunk of why you havent found a firm foot-hold yet. There's nothing wrong with exploring all avenues before deciding whats right for you....after all, we all try before we buy.
The down-side to your post, is to be wary not to get stuck in that fantasy world as your escape from finding YOU!
|11-10-2011, 08:58 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2009
There is nothing wrong with you, most probably your awareness and interests go beyond the awareness and interests of the social environment in which you linger.
The feel of loneliness is normal, it will get better in time to come.
To become master of your own destiny isn’t all that easy either, it takes a strong willingness to engage oneself in following it’s intuition, dreams or passion. People around will always try to keep you from doing that, rather than to motivate you in doing what YOU want.
The reason why you have that feel of being fake is simple to explain, you believe it, therefore you might want to work on that part in order to bring change regarding your self-esteem.
To shake of guild you might have upon your shoulders while learn to accept that which you are, a person just like everybody else, you are unique because there is only one person like you around upon this entire globe. Accept it and learn to be happy with who you are, to manifest anger upon self will get you nowhere.
If you suffer from self-pity, you will need to get your act together in order for more positive vibes to manifest inside your core being.
Keep in mind that your idea of the world might not be the idea of another, there is a need to accept this upon a personal level in order to grow peace with this reality.
Likeminded people you don’t need to seek for, they will pop up in your life when you least expect it, therefore it is important not to focus upon what is happening outside in the chaotic world, but rather to focus upon your own growth and inner needs, only then you can find all the answers to your questions and deal with that cloud of confusion which is troubling your mind and clouding your vision of what is.
If you don’t grow or work on your self-esteem and acceptance towards self and the outside world, you will miss out on all the fun life is all about, not experiencing the joy of life really sad, while why would you deprive yourself from it!
The world is not your responsibility, neither are the way’s other individuals see or think about you. So to not carry all the weight of the world upon your own shoulders is a must in order to deal with what’s troubling your emotional state, while shift everything into another direction which is more positive and joyful in expression.
Suffering is part of this world, to grow a backbone in order to deal with it is key in order to face any loss which will occur upon one’s path and journey of life. A broken heart in love, a deceased loved one or pet, accident’s which cause various forms of limitation, illnesses and much more, need a responsible approach in order to accept them being a part of that which we refer to as being life and alive.
See and learn to accept the world for what it is, salmon fish do, you can too!
The Waterboys - This is the Sea-Riding Giants - YouTube
?Left Brain Vs Right Brain Education?? - YouTube
Hope this made/makes some sense, talking about pep talk!
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