|11-08-2011, 09:52 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2011
Just wanted to share something new for me - I'm actually happy being single! Unlike most of my life, I'm totally fine with it! I don't feel needy or obsessed with guys or relationships, and I can focus on myself and enjoy it!
I know it won't last forever. And I also know that at some point I'll meet a partner I want. I just don't feel like searching right now... I'm open to things, but don't want to initiate anything. Maybe at some point I'll get a more active position, but not now.
I also know that whatever comes next in terms of relationships, it will be something completely new... and hopefully it will last.
|11-09-2011, 12:15 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Montreal Canada
Good for you Darika! I've been in this same position for well over a year now and I can tell you it can be very liberating! I've been feeling a sting of loneliness lately however and I hate it.
It will just be something more to master for me however. My lifestyle and my projects are mostly incompatible with having a significant other. Or having just one
Anyway, back to you...Use this opportunity to do something you've always wanted but felt you couldn't
|11-09-2011, 07:04 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
I feel the same.
I see friends and colleagues being driven to madness by the "search" for a boyfriend, online dating, obsessed with the guy calling or not calling, that mind space now is occupied by other interests.
One of the thing I am working very hard on is to change my environment, so that I am surrounded by people who are more in synch with who I truly am. From there, finding the right person will be effortless.
I don't have time to separate the shaft from the grain anymore, and the odd guy who asks me out is never the one that's compatible, but a guy attracted to externals, trivialities. Let's face it, guys approach you because of the way you look.I don't even check if men look at me anymore or are attracted, I just phase them out.
The whole dating scene is unappealing and I won't re-enter it anytime soon.
Enjoy your break Darika. Sometimes it's nice to concentrate on being one's best friend.
|11-09-2011, 12:46 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2011
I don't even wanna think about the process of dating... going on these dates to find out if a guy has a potential or not... then again and again... it's just sad and I don't have the nerve, honestly. Definitely not going "on the market" anytime soon.
I don't know if it's right or wrong, but I expect to meet the right person not as a result of actual search... I want things to happen naturally, meet him as life happens and things unfold...
I really don't want to enter this grey zone of dating right now. Somehow I almost have an all or nothing approach... again, I don't know if it's the right approach, but I'm going to stick with it for now because that's what I feel comfortable with. I need time to heal my wounds.
|11-09-2011, 12:59 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I only wanted to meet people the natural way and not date, but after 9 years and nothing has turned up in the way of potential anything...I figured I'd give the date thing a go with the encouragment of a friend who is now with her "One" after meeting him on a spiritual dating site, and I've had lunch twice now with a guy who also doesn't like dating, so at least we have that in common.
There's nothing there though, but at least I've made a new buddy who thinks I'm good company and is supportive and kind to me...so that's something I guess.
I enjoyed not having a relationship for many years, and now I feel like the moments of real loneliness are so hard to bare that it feels stupid to make no effort whatsoever, despite previously thinking the way you do.
I figure at least it's sending the message to the universe, but now I have a lesbian after me as well.
I know the place you are at well, and it's a great space to be in when you are 100% feeling it. I'm in some sort of middle place now. Not entirely enthusiastic about being single or dating, but not entirely happy with waiting any more for it all to unfold naturally.
I'm basically confused at this point. I've done a half-arsed profile on this site, which screams, " I don't reeeaaallly want to date anyone, but I'm here, so I might as well."
To be honest though, today I was feeling like reverting back to not giving a damn about relationships at all. I need to focus on finding a new home, a new way to earn money and get my life in gear again...none of which is helped along when I'm starry eyed in love with someone...although the comfort would be nice...and cuddles.
All I really want are cuddles these days.
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