|11-08-2011, 04:33 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2011
Does she like me or not?
Okay, so I'm extremely confused because I'm in a profoundly novel situation...I have a friend who attends college a couple hours away. We grew up together in the same hometown, but never befriended at any point. However, we have mutual friends and she knows my past history of avoiding relationships and commitment. This summer, via a mutual friend, we unexpectedly became pals. From the outset, I think our non-verbals made it clear that she viewed me in a platonic way and I even verbalized my disdain for relationships and the thought of them....this was all early on. Over the past few months, we've made leaps in regards to closeness and communication. We are both shy, introverted, non-trusting, insecure, standoffish, over-thinkers that guard themselves strongly. That's why I cannot gain a read on her emotions. We are both logical people and realize that our post-graduation plans are likely to greatly differ, in content and distance...and getting too attached to anyone could be unwise. That being said, we've made an alarming amount of time to see one another this school year, despite our schedules and distance. Not to mention, we text back and forth, very often, most every day. She laughs at my antics more than any girl I've ever met and is able to recall most anything I've said in conversation. However, no hair twirling, no leaning in, no tension, none of the things I'm used to. I'm wondering if she likes me and is afraid to show it because she knows the timing seems ill and I have a history of ditching the girl if she makes me uncomfortable OR does she really just view me as a friend......suggestions?
|11-08-2011, 05:18 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Sounds likely but it's hard enough for you to read her let alone me. I assume you're into her or you wouldn't care? I also assume you want to protect the friendship so bluntness is out.
You can try projecting some of that "tension" you spoke about onto her and see if she gets on board or is resistant and cold. This is the testing the waters before you jump in strategy, which actually usually seems more natural than an instantaneous radical jump from friend to lover. Increase physical contact, eye contact, playful flirtiness, etc. You know the drill. Just put a vibe out and see her response. Subtle at first so it's not a random radical jump but bring up the intensity as time goes on.
You're basically flirting but in a way where you can play it off as just playing around if she calls you on it. That's the lowest risk strategy I know.
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