How long until Love?

[Jugga J]

Okay, I'm asking this question on the back of a number of people saying today 'I love *Insert Name Here*' They are mostly my age 17..ish. Average life expectancy for relationship in most cases...4 - 6 months.

It does really peeve me off when people keep bantering around the term too easily now days. I've never been in love so I wouldn't know.

It's obvious that there are number of factors which affect how long it takes to actually fall in love. But in your case *or not* how long has it taken you to actually fall in love with someone? average?

Note: I've asked some of them and they do actually mean it. As in they do actually believe they love someone.

[Angela]

It took me about a half-hour for me to fall in love with my recovering heroin addict rock star boyfriend, and then it took three years to slough it (and him) off.

But after 2 years with Danger Man, I'm just starting to see what love can really be.

I think "in love" is way overrated. But once you've been infected, there's not much you can do but ride it out!

[bellbird]

Would it matter how long it took anyhow ? I fell in love in a split second once I really saw the man I'm still with 15 years after. I was 17 when I met him. I thought he was cute as hell and the typical shy guy. He's still handsome but as I got to know him better I went from fancy-love to the real thing. I take the good and the bad. In the beginning it's hard to tell though when you're so young. There will not be a divine light or an angel blaring in your ear about 'the one' and all that stuff. There's no knight in shining armor and I reckon us girls better get on with it instead of doing the wallflower act . Honestly. Oh well most woman don't anyway

I think my relationship has developed over the years. If you survive basic stuff like rows, going camping, living together and building a house then thats excellent (in that order). There always will be types of bumps in the road and it's how you handle everything that will make clear what type of relationship you really have. It's your understanding of yourself and each other that will build the love you have, not what you think it might be.

But probably to answer your question: how long does it take to be 'really in love'? A while, which if you want to put a timeframe on it: a month to a year. Plenty of people tend to proclaim to be in love where as in fact they're in love with 'love' and what picture they hold in their head of it.

[Chemgirl]

Interesting question....

I knew instantly that my man would have a huge impact on my life but I was really reluctant to say it was love at first sight. Mainly past experiences of being hurt made me scared to be vulnerable and fall in love again. However about 1.5 months later my fears were pushed aside and I knew it was love (but it took him about 2.5 months!).

When I was younger (18-20), I thought I was in love twice, each time after only a few weeks. But looking back now I seriously doubt I was in love at all with those men - it feels nothing like the love I have now.

While I accept it is possible, I find it difficult to imagine a 17 year old being in love after just weeks. But perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about because I was a very emotionally disturbed 17 year old!

[Lychee]

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat.

Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"

Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.

Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."

"I can't help you", Vanity said, " You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, " Sadness, please let me go with you."

Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you."

But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

[torilink]

Originally Posted by Lychee

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat.

Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"

Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.

Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."

"I can't help you", Vanity said, " You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, " Sadness, please let me go with you."

Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you."

But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

thanks so much for this wonderful post.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Lychee

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat.

Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"

Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.

Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."

"I can't help you", Vanity said, " You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, " Sadness, please let me go with you."

Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you."

But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Wow amazing story, this is one of the reasons I still browse this forum lol.

[Mayo]

Originally Posted by Lychee

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Makes me smile!

[Jugga J]

Interesting replies

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think "in love" is way overrated. But once you've been infected, there's not much you can do but ride it out!

Isn't that the truth?!

Only the people involved can know if it's the "in love" feeling or "love" but sometimes it is hard to distinguish. Longevity seems to be the measure. Once the spark fades and the cards fall you'll know what you've got. At that age, I would say there's no need to be all too serious about which it is. Enjoy sharing great times with other people. Hopefully both people in the relationship are on the same page. If not, that can certainly cause heartache. On the other hand, I do think there are many people who are too flipant with the word love and all that comes along with it...

I know that I fell for my ex (or whatever he is) in a flash...after knowing him for a while without giving it a thought. And then the butterflies went away and I still knew I would work hard to keep it up. I think that's love. And now, well, I love him very much, but I don't know what's next. It's all a mystery really (at least to some of us).