|11-01-2011, 12:17 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
In love with a friend girlfriend, what to do?
My first post here. I have been reading Steve article for some time now and I found very interesting thing on this site. Hope the forum also help me.
I have some kind of a question/problem that I would like to have opinion on. Here is how the story goes:
My cousin friend name Karine is a beatifull, very intelligent, kind, ect. ect, girl. She has everything to my eyes. I have met this girl for the first time in september of 2009. It was at a party, my cousin came over with 3 of her friends. I didn't know two of those girls that night. I knew only one friend of my cousin. So it was a cool night, I just talk a little bit with Karine and everybody. It was a private party and I knew almost everybody and I did't have the chance to talk only to her. But it is not the point here, just want to say that at first it was just a beautiful friends of my cousin, really nothing much. Oh and yeah she has a boyfriend and I have a grilfriend also.
Then couple of week's later my cousin in a conversation say's to me that Karine and her boyfriends almost broke up last summer. That things were not going very good between then. She told me that Karine offer's her boyfriend to leave but he decided to stay.
When she told me that I was like: " Why is she telling me all this?" It really put a question mark in my head as why would she told me private thing like this on a girl that I almost don't know?
Then on a couple a occasion I when out with my cousin and Karine and one other friend of her. I was with them and a friend of mine. All the people here at that point are in a relationship except my friend. Like nobody is trying to match nobody here.
Those night out were very fun and that is were I start to fall in love with that girl. Nothing happen during those night, no kissing ect… But I still fall in love with Karine those nights.
At the same moment me and my girl were not having the greatest moment in our couple. It's more me that question if I really love my girlfriend and I finally break up with her around june 2010.
To be honest I break up with my girl because I wanted to have a chance to be with Karine one day. How could I be with this girl if I am still with my girlfriend? It was impossible so I made the move and leave my girlfriend.
During that time, I met the boyfriend of Karine. He is a good friend of my cousin husband. They hangout a lot together and are very close friend.
I have to say here that at that point I have never told nothing to Karine about my feeling. Also I have a feeling that she like's me a bit. I say this by the way we make eye contact, the way she touch me when alone, really the way she look's at me. Also she make's fun of me, things like that. I also cath her some time to look in my direction and when I look at her she look's elsewhere very fast… things like that...
I am not the best looking guys in town so it's not like I was super beautiful and use to get look at like this. I am also not ugly. I'd say a 7 out of 10 easily! lol
Ok so now since I have left my girlfriend, more then a year past and nothing much change between me and Karine. I still hangout with her but never alone like before. Her boyfriend is always there. And really, I have become friend with her boyfriend also during that time and I have to say he is a good person.
So I did leave my girl for one day to have a chance to be with Karine but did nothing for that to happen. I felt like it would not be ok to do this. Now I know the guy and don't want to do this to him. So in the last year or so I try to forgot about her. I told myself that nothing would happen with her and I would find another girlfriend. But like I said earlier we still hangout, not alone, and I still feel at time that she is really giving me look's and ect…
For the last year I have been with one girl for few months. I have also see my ex a little bit. These's day all I am really thinking about is Karine. Everytime I think of her I feel I love this girl. I can't do nothing about it. It's just what I feel.
I am thinking of telling how I feel about her in a very direct way. Just in a conversation one of these day, when alone. Just being honest about what I think of her since two years.
My ultimate question is:
Now that I consider her boyfriend a friend, can I really do this?
If I do it it's obviously for me. I'm not thinking about the other guys. But I would feel bad and even worse if one day Karine become my girlfriend.
What do I do?
Thanks a lot for any thought on the situation.
I'm not english, I hope my text is not so bad. If you don't understand something ask me I will try to explain it better.
|11-01-2011, 01:10 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2011
Well, I dont really think you are in love with this girl, that would be kind of weird if your just friends. Telling her how you feel is not a good idea either considering her BF is actually a good guy which is rare, dont know why she would leave him for you. I am not you though, so you have a few options, if you really really want her you can always manipulate both of them to your favor, get dirty take the girl because your feelings will not work. You could play the waiting game like you have been, but in the meantime you should really get another girl. Is love real IDK, but its amazing how quickly you forget about the current girl when the next comes along. This would also give you more reason to hang out with her, double date considering you are friends with her BF.
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