How to come out of social isolation?

[HoldenC]

I am 20 years old. I've always been somewhat of a social outcast, and have a rather shy and introverted personality. I almost always had a small number of friends throughout school, just by virtue of being around the same people all of the time, but I was never very close with any of them. Since starting college, I've increasingly isolated myself, and at this point have almost no social contact. I'm dropping out of college after this semester due to poor grades and lack of interest. I am self-sufficient and living on my own away from my parents. Generally, I don't mind being alone. I'm a bit of a hermit by nature. But this degree of isolation is just making me depressed and apathetic, not to mention bored out of my mind. So I guess I just want to know how I can start to be more social. I'm not looking to have a particularly active social life, but I would really like to have a few close friends.

[Angelique]

What kinds of activities would you being doing with your new friends?

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

So I guess I just want to know how I can start to be more social. I'm not looking to have a particularly active social life, but I would really like to have a few close friends.

1. Get the heck out of the house.
2. Get the heck out of the house.
3. Get the heck out of the house.

There's really a whole world of wondrous things to see and do, Holden. But nothing is going to happen until you get the heck out of the house.

[HoldenC]

@angelique
I don't really know. I've generally just been happy with hanging around and talking with the friends I've had before.

@Beingist
And what should I do upon exiting my house?

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

@Beingist
And what should I do upon exiting my house?

Anything.

There are restaurants with fantastic food to eat (and good looking waitresses to hit on
There are theaters with plays, and theaters with movies (I kinda like the latter, occasionally. Once in a while, a good movie can be quite inspiring).
There are clubs and bars, loaded with people (particularly women).
Even places like laundromats and supermarkets can have their own entertainment.

Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do upon exiting your house. I don't care if you go pee on trees, but you will never get out of an isolated state, as long as you remain cooped up in your place. Life is for living, my friend.

[HoldenC]

well peeing on trees is more likely to earn me public indecency charges than friends lol
but I'll try to see what there is to do around town.

[Angelique]

Originally Posted by HoldenC

@angelique
I don't really know. I've generally just been happy with hanging around and talking with the friends I've had before.

Have you checked out Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup or CouchSurfing - Participate in Creating a Better World, One Couch At A Time?

[Alden]

Just get out of the house. I find that constantly being in your own room and space can have its side effects unknowingly. Comfortable as it may be, when you get out you may actually find a different sense of comfort and relief!

[votoshka]

I am not as socially isolated as you...but I think the only reason for this is that I have kids and I CAN'T be completely isolated! I find it very easy to fall into social isolation, as I don't find it particularly easy to make friends (I am okay at making acquaintences, but making friends is a bit of a different ballgame).

What I would advise, is to start a course or join a club. The times I have made friends were...well generally when I did a course and was in a situation where I met the same people on a semi regular basis, and thus got to know some.

Also examine the attitudes you have about yourself and how people feel about you. I have a sort of - errm how to put it - mental construct, where I believe that people don't like me, or that I'm an intrinsically unlikeable person. Given this mental construct (which on logical examination is quite ridiculous) I find it difficult to turn an acquaintance into a friend, as I'm really not sure how to go about it. Generally, I figure that most people would prefer it if I left them the heck alone, so I don't get people's numbers or really try to involve myself heavily in their lives.

Obviously, if you've got a similar sort of mental thing happening, it's something you'll need to examine, as it will get in the way of you forming meaningful friendships.

But yeah, my best advice is to get yourself in a situation where it is easy to meet new people, and you're going to be seeing those same new people on a fairly regular basis.