Celibacy

[Bunterhaperton]

What is everyone's thoughts on this Celibacy? Is it perfectly normal?

I've been celibate for a long time now by choice because of being devoted to my career to able to earn money to make sure I've got somewhere to live and being able to eat to survive and have a good life.

Also, I've always been very careful around women though because of the risk of losing everything that I've worked very hard for for years if things don't work out right or if the woman I am in a relationship with changes in a negative way.

However, I have been attracted to some women in the past in which I have approached in which I have been rejected every time becuase of some silly petty reason i.e. not being good looking etc. But this has never got me down though and I've always been happy being celibate and moving on with life as I thought there was nothing wrong with it.

But, a while back, I made the mistake of telling someone at work that I was celibate because that person was curious to know as to why I was not married or in a relationship. When I told that person, that person reacted in a way in which that person thought there was something wrong with me and started bullying me because of it which lasted a month because that person then left for a different career. I didn't report it back then because I was worried it would make the bullying worse by that person in a sort of revenge/retaliation attack kind of way.

After that person left, it bothered me alot until now as to whether there really is something wrong with me in being celibate all this time because of all the abuse I received by this person which hurt me alot emotionally wise.

What does everyone else think? Is Celibacy perfectly normal?

[elucidate]

I've chosen to be celibate at one stage in my life, and it was awesome. I was able to garner so much energy that would have otherwise been depleted on casual sex, and really got in touch with my Self, really got to know myself and my mind, and what I enjoyed and wanted to do, what I found fun etc.

I also explored sexual energy and how to control it, so I got a lot of benefits from being celibate for a time.

I have been celibate for the last 8 months...but not really by choice. I just have not really wanted anyone and I don't go looking for casual encounters anymore, and have been healing from some traumatic experiences with men in the past, so it doesn't really feel that healthy for me at the moment, but in your case, I think a period of celibacy is fine...as long as it feels ok with you, you don't need anyone elses reassurance or validation.

Don't worry about what that person said...you told the wrong person, that's all. There are other people who would not batt an eyelid...like me.

[Manasarovar]

Hey if you're okay and happy being celibate, then you're okay and happy. Do you really care what 'normal' is?

Trust me, many of the non-celibate people(especially the ones who bullied you) are definitely not happy or secure with their own sex life/sexuality. If they were they wouldn't really bother to bully you. Would you rather be one of them or would you rather just be you, comfortable and content doing what you think is right?

[cassiopeia]

I think it's great. I tried celibacy earlier this year, just because the situations I was getting into with men were more of a headache than they were worth. It didn't last too long :/

Having had a turbulent love/sex life, I can definitely see the appeal of celibacy. Maybe one day.

[zeitgeist]

For me it is about energy. I am married, so I do have sex, but I don't ejaculate to keep the energy inside. It was about a year ago when I noticed a change in my energy level when I conserve my semen. It is more pleasurable and life feels more intense this way; yet, you still can have sex.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by zeitgeist

For me it is about energy. I am married, so I do have sex, but I don't ejaculate to keep the energy inside. It was about a year ago when I noticed a change in my energy level when I conserve my semen. It is more pleasurable and life feels more intense this way; yet, you still can have sex.

Yes, I had the same experience as well.

You become more alive because you are full of energy that is vital.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Bunterhaperton

I've been celibate for a long time now by choice

Well, okay, then. Your life, your choice, no problem.

Originally Posted by Bunterhaperton

When I told that person, that person reacted in a way in which that person thought there was something wrong with me and started bullying me because of it which lasted a month because that person then left for a different career.

Some people are ignorant bullies. If this ever happens again, report it, and take it up with whatever workplace authority you have available. Bullying is never okay, no matter what.

Originally Posted by Bunterhaperton

it bothered me alot until now as to whether there really is something wrong with me in being celibate all this time because of all the abuse I received

This person was abusive. It wasn't you, it was them. There's nothing wrong with your choice to be celibate.