|10-30-2011, 03:09 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2007
Should I move out/move on?
A couple of weeks ago me and the neighbor/girlfriend had a long and serious talk. We realized we still enjoyed each others company but were both unsure whether or not there were any more romantic feelings between us, and decided to put our relationship part on hold until our chaotic lives settled a bit. Since then we have still hung out together, but as friends, and this is where it starts to get confusing, at least to me, and most likely to her.
You see, since then we have continued to be very affectionate and playful toward each other. We do not really kiss anymore but we do cuddle and play-fight and hold hands. To make matters even more complicated, last week we both got a bit drunk and ended up having sex, and last night she came downstairs to 'cuddle'.
I enjoy having her as a neighbor, although it seems like we are more roommates than anything due to the nature of where we live. Not only that I get along with her children really well, and they really like me. She tells her children and co-workers that we are 'just friend's' again, but the truth is that there is no real word for the relationship I have with her. We are neighbors, but much more than that, we are friends but much more, but we are not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore and I wouldn't call our friendship to be 'with benefits'.
I am still not completely sure of my feelings toward her. Part of me loves her and wants to be with her, but a small part of me feels that our differences are too great (age being a part...she is 10 years my senior). I feel that the only way to move on would be to move out and cut off all contact with her. However, I just started working again at a stable job after a summer of frequent layoffs/termination, and currently do not have the money to move to a different part of the city. Not only that, I have an awesome landlord who was very patient with me while I struggled to come up with the rent. The only other option would be to move back home, but home is 500 miles away in another part of the country and I really like the city I am currently living in.
In my previous relationships, I have cut off contact with my now-ex's, even though I have occasionally became friends later on (after the feelings have went away). This situation seems a bit different since we see each other every day on a regular basis, and I don't really want to shut myself in and become a hermit until I find the money to move out, (not to mention the mutual feelings still existing between us)
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