My Fiancée is afraid of sex?

[GaryMichaels]

My Fiancée (Hailey) and I have been together for nearly seven years and we have never had sex. The reason being she was raped when she was nineteen years old and she became pregnant with a baby girl who is now eight years old. She has not had sex with another man since and even though she tells me that she trusts me and I am the first guy she has loved she doesn’t want to do it and frequently changes the subject when I bring it up in conversations.

To say our relationship has been difficult would be an understatement. Most of my friends and family say it is unconventional but I love this woman and I would be willing to do anything to make it work. She is the girl of my dreams.

I have taken her to therapists about this but it hasn’t changed the way she feels about sex and I’m beginning to think we will never do it. It is a problem but if we don’t I will still marry her because that is how much I love her. We have been living together for four years and her daughter believes I am her biological father and calls me Daddy. I have a great relationship with her and my Fiancée says I am the best Dad in the world.

Our daughter does not know her mother was raped and Hailey never wants her to find out. She has never seen the guy that raped her again and he does not know. She told me if he ever came one step near her daughter she would not hesitate to kill him.

She has developed a hatred for men and luckily she views me as an exception. After she gave birth to our daughter she spent three years learning self defence and spent time in the gym so if another man tried to hurt her she would know how to protect herself. She knows that I would never harm her and she says meeting me was one of the best things that happened to her.

We are finally getting married in January on the same day we got together seven years ago and she talks about it every day. Even though we have never had sex we kiss and cuddle and we do everything else most normal couples do but it does bother me sometimes because I have never experienced it.

My girlfriend before Hailey passed away when I was seventeen and I am still a virgin. Hailey is older than me and she was in a few other relationships before she was raped in which she was physically and emotionally abused and I think they contributed to her fear of sex.

I don’t want to complain but I am confused and don’t know what to do. Should I just give sex the flick altogether or should I be encouraging her to see more people about this problem. I don’t want to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.