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GaryMichaels · 12-04-2011, 10:14 AM

There is nothing wrong with Hailey being protective.

Courtney is only eight years old and I am very protective of her too because I know there are a lot of weirdos in this world and the last thing I want is for her to be exposed to them. We have both had a share of problems in our pasts and Hailey doesn’t want Courtney to go through some of things she went through at her age and she doesn’t want her making the same mistakes. Perhaps if she was eighteen and Hailey was being overprotective there might be a problem then but at eight years old I hardly see any cause for alarm. As I believe you were only trying to help I won’t take your post as go at Fiancée’s parenting methods but you were right, it’s not your place to tell us how to raise our daughter.

TinaC · 12-06-2011, 05:56 AM

I’m sorry if I offended you Gary. I don’t know Hailey or your daughter and it isn’t my place to tell you what to do so I will keep my opinion to myself next time.

TinaC · 12-06-2011, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MessyJenny

please do not marry someone who will not have sex with you

you will eventually be forced to commit adultery

even if you don't admit it to yourself, sex is an important component of a healthy marriage

as a side note ?

my husband ex-wife had a similar experience. she hates all men, and raised her children to hate all men

don't get into a relationship that is doomed for failure or cheating from the start

i am a christian woman, and i feel for you

however, it is not fair to her if you continue to encourage this fear of hers. what i mean by that, as a therapist myself, is that you continue to accept NO CHANGES in this regard, then she will NEVER CHANGE

because

you have given her the hint it is OK by continuing with the marriage plans

have you seen a sex therapist ? someone who specializes in this particular field ?

see the links below

peace

AASECT :: American Association of Sex Counselors, Educators & Therapists

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/g…

SEX PHOBIA? Immediate Expert Help for Sex Phobia

Did you read all the thread? Gary has already answered a lot of your questions and the guy has said he is going to marry Hailey even if they never have sex. She is seeing a therapist.

Ceoarob · 12-06-2011, 07:29 AM

lol. Tina C is infamous around these parts.

GaryMichaels · 12-06-2011, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinaC

I’m sorry if I offended you Gary. I don’t know Hailey or your daughter and it isn’t my place to tell you what to do so I will keep my opinion to myself next time.

It wasn’t that you offended me Tina. I just don’t appreciate people questioning the way my Fiancée is raising our daughter or insinuating she is a bad Mother which you were doing. You couldn’t get any further from the truth. Hailey has done an amazing job raising Courtney considering everything she has been through and how she got pregnant in the first place. I have a lot of respecting for her having Courtney after she was raped and raising her (for the first few years) by herself. Courtney is a wonderful little girl and that is because of her Mother.

I believe you need to tone down some of your comments Tina. I have read some of the posts you’ve made on other threads and I don’t think you realise how disrespectful some of them are. Nobody is going to attack you if you let down your shield. Posting derogative comments on this forum is only going to win you more enemies than friends as the above poster has pointed out. I’m rather curious to why you have taken this approach as this is a forum where people come to for help.

I owe you a thank you for pointing that out to MessyJenny though. Thanks for the reply Jenny. I think you might have missed a few posts I made about this or you may have only read my original post.

MessyJenny · 12-08-2011, 02:36 AM

Sorry I just read the full thread

You sound like a great guy and Hailey is very lucky to have found someone like you

I still think you should not marry her until you have sex though

You can’t deny yourself of that

Whatever you decide, good luck with the wedding and baby.

GaryMichaels · 12-08-2011, 01:22 PM

It’s okay. Don’t worry about it

I don’t expect every member that leaves comments on this thread to read my post as it will probably take a while for them to read now. Thanks for the kind post. My Fiancée has assured me we will be making love but it definitely won’t be until after our wedding as she still needs some time. I am okay with that and as I mentioned previously, I am willing to wait for as long as it takes. Just because we haven’t had sex doesn’t mean it changes the way I feel about her. I’ve loved her for nearly seven years and during that time I have realised that sex pales in comparison to true love.

We are getting married on Saturday so the next time I am on this forum I will be a married man

ButterflyWoman · 12-08-2011, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

We are getting married on Saturday so the next time I am on this forum I will be a married man

I hope your wedding is everything you and Hailey want it to be.

butterflyeffect · 12-08-2011, 07:48 PM

All the best for a truly wonderful wedding day and a long and happy marriage.

xxx

Fred Tracy · 12-08-2011, 08:35 PM

Whew. I didn't read the full thread, but I read a lot of it. You are one brave man for entering into a relationship where you may possibly never have sex.

Good for you. I could never do it.

GaryMichaels · 12-11-2011, 12:27 PM

Thanks guys

I can now proudly say I am a married man. Our wedding was a disaster but in a good way and I think it will definitely be something we will be able to look back at in years to come and laugh. Hailey and I were both very nervous going there and we ended up spending time together talking about things before the actual wedding and I saw her in her wedding dress which I know some people say is bad luck but I don't think it will be in our case. Hailey looked amazing and she was right when she said she was going to take my breath away. I haven’t blushed so much since the first time she kissed me.

It was a cloudy day but thankfully it didn't rain and almost everything went according to plan. Hailey and I were a bit late arriving and some of the people we invited didn’t think we were going to show but we managed to get there before anybody left and from that moment on it was a nightmare. The two of us were clumsy and I tripped on something when she was walking out with her uncle and she fell on him. I stuffed up some of my lyrics when I was singing the song and said a rude word which had everybody there including laughing their heads off and I had to start the song again.

I nearly had a very embarrassing moment too where my fly was left undone but my best woman saw it and told me to fix it up before I walked out which was very lucky. I wasn't thinking properly at the time and I can only imagine the looks on some people's faces if I had got married with it undone. My wife would have found it funny but I don't think her Mother would. Everything else worked out but Hailey interrupted the minister so she could tell me about something she noticed and she wouldn’t stop laughing. When it came time for her to kiss me it was just as amazing as the first time.

My Grandfather said our wedding was different than most weddings but he liked it. I wanted to have him as my best man originally because he was always very close to me growing up but I decided to go with my best friend who is also one of Hailey’s best friends too. The only thing people complained about was Hailey wouldn’t pose properly for our wedding photos and I think everybody expected her to because she was a model but she made funny faces instead. We had some photos taken with our daughter too (our flower girl) and my Grandfather thinks those were the best ones.

We ended up spending most of the night together cuddling and she performed a song she wrote for me on the new green guitar I got her. Hailey and I will be going on our Honeymoon on Friday after we have broken up from work and we will be back before Christmas so we can have a big Christmas with our families.

Thanks for the encouragement Fred. I guess I do it because I love her. It’s nearly been seven years mate and if I was going to leave her I would have done it a long time ago.

ButterflyWoman · 12-11-2011, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

I saw her in her wedding dress which I know some people say is bad luck but I don't think it will be in our case.

If it's any consolation to you, my husband not only saw me in my dress, he went shopping with me when I bought it. We haven't had any particularly bad luck, I mean, no more than anyone else, and we're still happily married to each other.

Mazel tov on your wedding!

Criseyde · 12-11-2011, 02:29 PM

Congratulations!! Your love for each other warms the cockles of my little heart.

And it sounds like your wedding was really fun!

MessyJenny · 12-13-2011, 04:30 AM

Congratulations on a wonderful wedding

You and Hailey sound like you were meant to be and I wish you both a happy future

GaryMichaels · 12-13-2011, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

If it's any consolation to you, my husband not only saw me in my dress, he went shopping with me when I bought it. We haven't had any particularly bad luck, I mean, no more than anyone else, and we're still happily married to each other.

Mazel tov on your wedding!

It is. My wife has been concerned about it but we had talk last night and I have assured it is nothing but superstition like when somebody walks under a ladder they are supposed to have a year of bad luck. My father walked under a few ladders in his lifetime and nothing bad has ever happened to him and you think he would be the most likely candidate since he is an electrician. I think most of those old stories can’t be taken seriously and when you think about them they do sound ridiculous

GaryMichaels · 12-13-2011, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Congratulations!! Your love for each other warms the cockles of my little heart.

And it sounds like your wedding was really fun!

Our wedding was fun but that is only the beginning. We still have the rest of our lives ahead of us and I want to spend that time making Hailey feel as happy as she makes me

ButterflyWoman · 12-13-2011, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

My wife has been concerned about it

As far as I'm aware, the custom started in the days when marriages were arranged for political and social reasons, and the bride and groom had usually never even MET each other. Best for the family to sort these things out, you see, and having the prospective bride and groom meet or even see each other could mess up the whole deal.

It's also said that the custom of covering the bride with a veil that stayed over her face until the end of the ceremony was to keep the groom from seeing what he was getting and running off, but that's actually probably not true. (More likely, it was to keep "evil spirits" from seeing her and doing, well, evil things to her, or some such.)

An awful lot of wedding traditions and rituals are ancient and shrouded in mystery as to their origins, but they're just superstitions.

Jillfisher · 12-13-2011, 12:54 PM

You are a good man. I only read a few pages of the thread but I only needed to read a post to see that. For you to stay with Hailey for 6 years without having sex shows you love this gal and she is lucky to have a guy like you. She will come around in time. Be loving and accepting and when she is ready, she would come to you and when she does the love you make will be ground shaking.

GaryMichaels · 12-15-2011, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

As far as I'm aware, the custom started in the days when marriages were arranged for political and social reasons, and the bride and groom had usually never even MET each other. Best for the family to sort these things out, you see, and having the prospective bride and groom meet or even see each other could mess up the whole deal.

It's also said that the custom of covering the bride with a veil that stayed over her face until the end of the ceremony was to keep the groom from seeing what he was getting and running off, but that's actually probably not true. (More likely, it was to keep "evil spirits" from seeing her and doing, well, evil things to her, or some such.)

An awful lot of wedding traditions and rituals are ancient and shrouded in mystery as to their origins, but they're just superstitions.

Okay. Thanks for explaining that Butterfly Woman. You have cleared some things up for me and my wife. I had to laugh about the evils spirits. It's amazing what some people used to believe years ago. Have you ever seen the movie the Crucible or read about the Salem Witch Trials? I’m glad humans have come a long way since those days.

GaryMichaels · 12-15-2011, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jillfisher

You are a good man. I only read a few pages of the thread but I only needed to read a post to see that. For you to stay with Hailey for 6 years without having sex shows you love this gal and she is lucky to have a guy like you. She will come around in time. Be loving and accepting and when she is ready, she would come to you and when she does the love you make will be ground shaking.

I appreciate that.

I love Hailey more than anything in this world and I am the lucky guy, trust me, she is an incredible woman and Courtney is the daughter I have always dreamed of having.

elucidate · 12-15-2011, 05:05 AM

Hey Fantastic.

I'm sure all your little "nightmares" will be something you can look back on and laugh. It had me giggling when I read about your fly undone.

Best of everything to you both.

butterflyeffect · 12-17-2011, 05:28 AM

Gary, an idea that you and Hailey may like to try.

Stand opposite each other, don't talk, don't smile and just copy the other person's body movements in silence. The idea is you start with person being leader and then swap and then eventually move to no leader and just really getting in touch with each other.

I did in my therapy group about two years ago and it was really powerful. Everyone kept giggling and smiling, I guess to try and break the intimacy of it. You and Hailey are already so close but maybe it would help? You could try visualising and sending out sexual vibes throughout that way no one is being touched but its still intimate without being intrusive.

ButterflyWoman · 12-17-2011, 12:57 PM

Since the OP is on his honeymoon and won't be around to answer any further posts (and since people in this thread have answered without reading through it to see what he's already written), I'm going to close it for now. Think of it as being "on hold" until he gets back and decides what direction he'd like the thread to go.

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12-04-2011, 10:14 AM	#121 (permalink)
GaryMichaels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 100	There is nothing wrong with Hailey being protective. Courtney is only eight years old and I am very protective of her too because I know there are a lot of weirdos in this world and the last thing I want is for her to be exposed to them. We have both had a share of problems in our pasts and Hailey doesn’t want Courtney to go through some of things she went through at her age and she doesn’t want her making the same mistakes. Perhaps if she was eighteen and Hailey was being overprotective there might be a problem then but at eight years old I hardly see any cause for alarm. As I believe you were only trying to help I won’t take your post as go at Fiancée’s parenting methods but you were right, it’s not your place to tell us how to raise our daughter.

12-06-2011, 05:56 AM	#122 (permalink)
TinaC Banned Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 24	I’m sorry if I offended you Gary. I don’t know Hailey or your daughter and it isn’t my place to tell you what to do so I will keep my opinion to myself next time.

12-06-2011, 07:29 AM	#124 (permalink)
Ceoarob Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 663	lol. Tina C is infamous around these parts.

12-08-2011, 02:36 AM	#126 (permalink)
MessyJenny Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 22	Sorry I just read the full thread You sound like a great guy and Hailey is very lucky to have found someone like you I still think you should not marry her until you have sex though You can’t deny yourself of that Whatever you decide, good luck with the wedding and baby.

12-08-2011, 01:22 PM	#127 (permalink)
GaryMichaels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 100	It’s okay. Don’t worry about it I don’t expect every member that leaves comments on this thread to read my post as it will probably take a while for them to read now. Thanks for the kind post. My Fiancée has assured me we will be making love but it definitely won’t be until after our wedding as she still needs some time. I am okay with that and as I mentioned previously, I am willing to wait for as long as it takes. Just because we haven’t had sex doesn’t mean it changes the way I feel about her. I’ve loved her for nearly seven years and during that time I have realised that sex pales in comparison to true love. We are getting married on Saturday so the next time I am on this forum I will be a married man

12-08-2011, 07:48 PM	#129 (permalink)
butterflyeffect Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 801	All the best for a truly wonderful wedding day and a long and happy marriage. xxx

12-08-2011, 08:35 PM	#130 (permalink)
Fred Tracy Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 717	Whew. I didn't read the full thread, but I read a lot of it. You are one brave man for entering into a relationship where you may possibly never have sex. Good for you. I could never do it.

12-11-2011, 12:27 PM	#131 (permalink)
GaryMichaels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 100	Thanks guys I can now proudly say I am a married man. Our wedding was a disaster but in a good way and I think it will definitely be something we will be able to look back at in years to come and laugh. Hailey and I were both very nervous going there and we ended up spending time together talking about things before the actual wedding and I saw her in her wedding dress which I know some people say is bad luck but I don't think it will be in our case. Hailey looked amazing and she was right when she said she was going to take my breath away. I haven’t blushed so much since the first time she kissed me. It was a cloudy day but thankfully it didn't rain and almost everything went according to plan. Hailey and I were a bit late arriving and some of the people we invited didn’t think we were going to show but we managed to get there before anybody left and from that moment on it was a nightmare. The two of us were clumsy and I tripped on something when she was walking out with her uncle and she fell on him. I stuffed up some of my lyrics when I was singing the song and said a rude word which had everybody there including laughing their heads off and I had to start the song again. I nearly had a very embarrassing moment too where my fly was left undone but my best woman saw it and told me to fix it up before I walked out which was very lucky. I wasn't thinking properly at the time and I can only imagine the looks on some people's faces if I had got married with it undone. My wife would have found it funny but I don't think her Mother would. Everything else worked out but Hailey interrupted the minister so she could tell me about something she noticed and she wouldn’t stop laughing. When it came time for her to kiss me it was just as amazing as the first time. My Grandfather said our wedding was different than most weddings but he liked it. I wanted to have him as my best man originally because he was always very close to me growing up but I decided to go with my best friend who is also one of Hailey’s best friends too. The only thing people complained about was Hailey wouldn’t pose properly for our wedding photos and I think everybody expected her to because she was a model but she made funny faces instead. We had some photos taken with our daughter too (our flower girl) and my Grandfather thinks those were the best ones. We ended up spending most of the night together cuddling and she performed a song she wrote for me on the new green guitar I got her. Hailey and I will be going on our Honeymoon on Friday after we have broken up from work and we will be back before Christmas so we can have a big Christmas with our families. Thanks for the encouragement Fred. I guess I do it because I love her. It’s nearly been seven years mate and if I was going to leave her I would have done it a long time ago.

12-11-2011, 02:29 PM	#133 (permalink)
Criseyde Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3,157	Congratulations!! Your love for each other warms the cockles of my little heart. And it sounds like your wedding was really fun!

12-13-2011, 04:30 AM	#134 (permalink)
MessyJenny Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 22	Congratulations on a wonderful wedding You and Hailey sound like you were meant to be and I wish you both a happy future

12-13-2011, 12:54 PM	#138 (permalink)
Jillfisher Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 5	You are a good man. I only read a few pages of the thread but I only needed to read a post to see that. For you to stay with Hailey for 6 years without having sex shows you love this gal and she is lucky to have a guy like you. She will come around in time. Be loving and accepting and when she is ready, she would come to you and when she does the love you make will be ground shaking.

12-15-2011, 05:05 AM	#141 (permalink)
elucidate Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 12,751	Hey Fantastic. I'm sure all your little "nightmares" will be something you can look back on and laugh. It had me giggling when I read about your fly undone. Best of everything to you both.

12-17-2011, 05:28 AM	#142 (permalink)
butterflyeffect Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 801	Gary, an idea that you and Hailey may like to try. Stand opposite each other, don't talk, don't smile and just copy the other person's body movements in silence. The idea is you start with person being leader and then swap and then eventually move to no leader and just really getting in touch with each other. I did in my therapy group about two years ago and it was really powerful. Everyone kept giggling and smiling, I guess to try and break the intimacy of it. You and Hailey are already so close but maybe it would help? You could try visualising and sending out sexual vibes throughout that way no one is being touched but its still intimate without being intrusive.

12-17-2011, 12:57 PM	#143 (permalink)
ButterflyWoman Family Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Down the infinite rabbit hole Posts: 1,575	Since the OP is on his honeymoon and won't be around to answer any further posts (and since people in this thread have answered without reading through it to see what he's already written), I'm going to close it for now. Think of it as being "on hold" until he gets back and decides what direction he'd like the thread to go.

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