My Fiancée is afraid of sex?

[40hertz]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I absolutely agree with this! TIME Techniques is a great tool for this.

I do TIME Techniques, but I have to tell you straight up that I don't feel qualified to help her, because of my limited experience. I do have 2 other people who are great, one who actually is my trainer.

You know, as a sidenote, my association with "Time techniques" is not the greatest, mostly because of the guy who created it. I think he re-named similar techniques (*cough*Time Line Therapy *cough*) just to make a name for himself. It's obvious that he wants to be the next Tony Robbins, and is not quite succeeding at it.

Now that I've said that, watch me meet him at a conference some day, accidentally make friends with him, and have to remove my post LOL.

[Curious cat]

Originally Posted by 40hertz

Now that I've said that, watch me meet him at a conference some day, accidentally make friends with him, and have to remove my post LOL.

Per Forum Rules, after a certain amount of time lapses (I don't know what that time frame is), you can't delete a post. So I'd make certain that you don't post anything you may regret later.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by 40hertz

You know, as a sidenote, my association with "Time techniques" is not the greatest, mostly because of the guy who created it. I think he re-named similar techniques (*cough*Time Line Therapy *cough*) just to make a name for himself. It's obvious that he wants to be the next Tony Robbins, and is not quite succeeding at it.

Now that I've said that, watch me meet him at a conference some day, accidentally make friends with him, and have to remove my post LOL.

The TIME Techniques that I am talking about is developed by the guy who thought me. Yes, it takes parts of Time Line Therapy, but it is not the same.

The guy who created Time Line Therapy does indeed have some negative associations to his name, mainly because of his need to be special. (my opinion, I don't know him personally)

This technique takes some of this time line therapy and a lot from other techniques, forming it into something unique, and very powerful.

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by Curious cat

Per Forum Rules, after a certain amount of time lapses (I don't know what that time frame is), you can't delete a post. So I'd make certain that you don't post anything you may regret later.

Well Cat.... taking that on board I think I'll now go and deactivate my account

[Orator]

I find this a very complicated situation and somewhat emotionally challenging. There is a conflict of egos and you want sex and she does want it and you have defined your world in terms of sex and she wants to avert it. You might have several tryouts and finally things end up with a series of rebuttals. I am afraid gradually you will develop a syndrome and that will be very expensive to you. Maybe a day will come your suppression will take over you and you become unable to win over your fiery passion and you will get perturbed and will have a kind of apathy and that situation will lead you towards a state in which you will be unable to prove yourself as a lover and this predicament will cost you precariously

[Spinoza]

+1 to what Godot said

I would just add that whatever you do I would not get married before this issue is resolved. There is no reason to rush into a marriage with an issue like this hanging around.

From everything I have seen 'We're good together and we'll work this out eventually' is a recipe for disaster going into a marriage.

[GaryMichaels]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have talked to Hailey about therapy for sexual abuse and she is going to look into it over the next few days. She finds it very difficult to talk about but she said just because we don’t do it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me and she wants to get better. She’s just afraid and she told me when she thinks about sex, it brings back bad memories. I want to help her in any way I can but I think a therapist would be more qualified to help her with this than me. I don’t want her to feel like I am forcing her to do this because I am not and I believe she already knows that.

If she never overcomes this fear I will stay with her because I have the relationship I always wanted with Hailey that I know I could never have with another woman. I’ve never had sex before so in a way it is impossible for me to miss something I have never done. With Hailey, I have somebody that loves me the same way my first girlfriend did and I honestly love her more than I have ever loved another person. Love is more important in a relationship to me than sex. I could break up with Hailey and find another woman that does have sex with me and we could have nothing in common.

Then what? I get married to a woman who I have no emotional connection with because we have a great sex life and I end up in a loveless marriage? I have watched a lot of people make that mistake and I would rather spend the rest of my life with somebody who is not just my girlfriend but she is also my best friend. Hailey is my soul mate and I have already had some of the best years of my life with this woman and it’s getting better every day. I’m still falling in love with her and this might be embarrassing to admit but I still blush over her sometimes too because she is breathtaking.

Thanks for the kind words rawxstasy and Tinac. People say to me that I should end my relationship with Hailey because she won’t have sex but then I look at the relationships they are in and they don’t even compare to the one I have with Hailey. Do you know what it’s like to find the one person in the world that completes you and understands you perfectly? That’s what I have with Hailey and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Unless you have found that person it would be hard for some people to understand. I do though and I am lucky because I had it twice.

I would appreciate some recommendations of therapists but I am not sure that we are in the same country but thank you anyway. This is something I will help Hailey and I will make sure my Fiancée sees one of the most capable therapists here. Thank you for the link to the Time Techniques ssandra. That is something I will also suggest to Hailey. If you guys want I will keep you up to date with everything as I have really appreciated all your help so far.

Hailey loves Courtney (our daughter) and she would never do anything to hurt her. She doesn’t see Courtney as a product of what happened to her and as votoshka suggested, she sees her as the only good thing that came out of the experience. She is overprotective sometimes but that is because she doesn’t want the same thing that happened to her happening to Courtney.

I should probably note that our daughter has a mild case of autism and is very advanced for her age. She is only eight but one of her teacher’s at school has been giving her High School and she is having no problem with it. She is very gifted and I am proud of her. I understand that it is wrong to deceive her and she already figured out that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are not real so there could be a chance she might catch on one day but it is Hailey’s decision, not mine.

[aabbcc]

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

She’s just afraid and she told me when she thinks about sex, it brings back bad memories.

You said in a previous post that the two of you make out for hours.

Maybe I'm being a bit thick, but this makes no sense to me at all. It seems reasonable to assume that if a person doesn't even want to think about sex, and is scared to have sex, they will also avoid any activities which might lead to the actual act.

[ButterflyWoman]

Gary, I know people who are very much in love and happily married and yet have no sex at all. Some stopped having sex at some point (for health reasons, usually), some never had sex (such as the couple I knew in which the husband was in a wheelchair and physically unable to have sex with his wife). Sex is a usual part of a marriage, yes, but there's no reason it has to be a big deal. If you're okay with possibly never consummating your marriage, I think that's your decision to make, and I think it's actually okay.

I do, however, think your fiancee needs to get over this. I've been raped (and sexually assaulted in other ways) and I know how traumatic it can be, and how it can shut down your sex drive, but it's possible to get over it. For her mental and emotional health and for yours, she really needs therapy, and at some point, you may be called upon to get involved with it (such as seeing the therapist for advice on how to proceed, etc.), so you should be aware of that and willing to do it if you're asked to join in her therapy sessions.

I hope she does get over it. It sucks to go through life with a huge cloud hanging over your head like that, being a prisoner of your own fear.

Personally, I admire you for sticking with her. That kind of loyalty is rare. Good on you, and blessings on you both and on your daughter.

[ssandra]

Have you tried making her more comfortable with your touch in other ways?

For example, giving her a massage on her back, while promising that, even if she begs for it, you won't have sex with her, or touch her anywhere else besides her back?

Part might be her being more comfortable with her own body as well. Do you know how comfortable she is showing herself naked (in a non sexual way) to you?
How comfortable she is touching her own body (in a non sexual and in a sexual way?)

I wrote an article about that somewhere on the forums once, and I have it on my website as well. I don't like to plug so many of my own articles, but I really think this might help her:

Body Image |

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

I don’t want to complain but I am confused and don’t know what to do. Should I just give sex the flick altogether or should I be encouraging her to see more people about this problem. I don’t want to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

Thanks for sharing your story.

As sex is part of your DNA, there's no flicking it.

Hailey is in need of healing, but it seems no one has been able to give her a new perspective on life. That's because modern therapy and traditional religions don't actually heal, but give mental games to play and they don't work.

Her abusers and her are BOTH suffering from not knowing the answer to the question "who am I?" That she was used for a sexual escape from life is a manifestation of the fear of not knowing what life is about.

Her abusers are victims too. Neither of you want to think of them like that, I'm guessing. But she was used as a drug but that "drug" use is a symptom of a deeper problem in the abusers.

She identifies her "self" as her wounds and she won't let them go. She's a "rape victim" and not simply a human being. For her to let go of her identity, she has to see who she really is....loving, creative, kind, compassionate. And when she can see herself, she will see that her abusers weren't evil (the acts were evil) but that they were mentally ill to a degree that is beyond the "normal" everyday mental illness that we don't even notice around us in society everyday. Where most people escape in a few beers, or with TV, etc...., a very few need a stronger escape.

She was raped logically. Her abusers' minds computed that sex with her would be happiness for them. They abused her to be "happy". That's why we use drugs...to be "happy". There's a paradox in there. How can rape be happiness? Because logically it made sense to the rapist's mind so much so that he did it.

My mom logically decided that suicide will solve her problems. It did. The mind is like that.

To see the big picture is to be able to let go of the wound, to let go of the identification with the wound.

I feel for her and for you and there is no other way through this than to face it. You can't deny your sexual DNA. Just like the shrinks and priests have been able to give her something catchy mentally to fix her, you can't figure out some mental way to say goodbye to sex.

[GaryMichaels]

Thanks for taking the time to read my long posts.

Hailey knows when we are making out it isn’t going to lead to sex so she has no problems with it nor does she with cuddling or hugging which we do a lot of. There are hundreds and things we do that don’t lead to sex such as rubbing our noses together, holding hands, staring into each other eyes, tickling each other etc.

She likes cute romantic things so I try my hardest to do them for her every day. I have probably written her over a hundred songs now and performed them to her on my guitar and piano. She performs songs to me too our daughter thinks it’s funny to watch us.

We both come from musical backgrounds and performed in bands and duos when we were younger but Hailey gave up music when she got pregnant and only sings in front of me or her friends. She has an amazing voice and I think it’s a shame to see it go to waste but it is her decision. Hailey used to do modelling too but she is uncomfortable about even the notion of that now and regrets doing it. She doesn’t have any body image problems that I am aware of and she works out every day. One of the reasons she works out so much she has told me so another man will never be able to hurt her.

Hailey is stronger than me and a lot of other blokes. She likes me touching her and the only time she becomes uncomfortable is if I try to touch her in private areas as I mentioned a previous post. I have seen her naked and she doesn’t mind getting changed when I am in the same room as her or even having a shower with me. She trusts me but she doesn’t like being touched in a sexual way. I don’t know if she likes touching herself in a sexual way as I have never seen her do it or talked to her about it but I could. Thanks for the link to the website Ssandra.

From what I know she has gone through an extensive amount of psychical and emotion abuse and it dated back to when she was in school where she was teased and bullied by other kids for being too smart and nerdy. Hailey told me she hated school and she would cry every day when she came home and didn’t want to go. She said she wore glasses, braces, had long dark brown curly hair and was a bit chubby but she changed her look before she went to high school.

She started running every day, got her hair dyed blonde, had her braces removed and stopped wearing her glasses and she told me a lot of the kids she knew from school didn’t even recognise her when she started High School and the kids that had teased and bullied her wanted to be her friend or her boyfriend.

Hailey said she didn’t like it though and she thought they were phoney and shallow. She didn’t like seeing other kids go through what she went through either so she stopped hanging out with them and went back to her old friends. Looking back on the things she has told me about herself I think it explains a lot of things and perhaps being raped was the last straw. She only did modelling because her friends encouraged her to do it and she needed the money at the time. With the exception of her fear of sex I think she came out a stronger and much more confident woman.

We have been looking into therapy and she is going to see a new therapist about it this week. I will be going along with her and it will be on one of the days I don’t have to teach. Thanks for the kind words ButterflyWoman. I am loyal to Hailey because I love her and I always will. Nothing can change that and I guess that is something a lot of my friends don’t understand. If Hailey never gets over this fear I will have to give sex the flick. There is no other option and I am not breaking up with her or cheating on her with another woman just to have it. It isn’t worth ruining my relationship.

Maybe her abusers were victims but you’re right, I don’t see it that way and either does Hailey. In fact she told me if the bloke who raped her came one step near her she would kick his ass this time and I believe her. I know about addiction. I was addicted to cocaine, speed and alcohol but I am now straightedge and I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs and I am a vegetarian and so is Hailey. I know what it feels like to want to completely give up on life too.

[elucidate]

You're quite the man.

It's been really lovely to read your posts.

[GaryMichaels]

Thanks elucidate

[RonSouther]

That's outstanding Gary! Congrats on such a deep love!

[theuprising]

If its important to you, tell her that, and if it turns out its a no go (getting over a phobia is not impossible by any means, there is absolutely no physical blocks of her getting over this problem unless she has a chemical imbalance), reevaluate the situation and ask yourself would you be willing to be with her even if you never have sex. And then there's open relationships, and those are sticky and won't work out for everyone but its worth a shot.

[Ceoarob]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Just my opinion ... I think you should not marry her. By all means, be a very close friend or her best friend, and a father figure or "uncle figure" to her daughter. But not a husband.

One day, I think, you may decide that enough is enough and you will want to look for a sexual partner. While remaining this woman's friend. Actually I suspect she might not mind.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Ceoarob

One day, I think, you may decide that enough is enough and you will want to look for a sexual partner. While remaining this woman's friend. Actually I suspect she might not mind.

That's tricky because his love runs so deep that the thought of being with another woman, even for a night, might seem so empty but then again the curiousity may need that exploration just to get past it.

True love can support non-possessiveness.

[Criseyde]

I admire you as well.

[Mariana Trench]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

That's tricky because his love runs so deep that the thought of being with another woman, even for a night, might seem so empty but then again the curiousity may need that exploration just to get past it.

True love can support non-possessiveness.

Perhaps. But I certainly understand a monogamous urge that goes beyond jealousy.

Gary, I have no advice. I wish I could say something that would help. You sound like a wonderful person and I'm rooting you and Hailey. I deeply hope everything works out for the best for both of you.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

Perhaps. But I certainly understand a monogamous urge that goes beyond jealousy.

Gary, I have no advice. I wish I could say something that would help. You sound like a wonderful person and I'm rooting you and Hailey. I deeply hope everything works out for the best for both of you.

Ditto!

[KHM]

He has invested so much time and emotion into this relationship that walking away would be extremely difficult. You might not find that level of love again and feel regret. I divorced my wife almost a year ago because I found out she was cheating on me. Logically I made the right decision but emotionally I sometimes feel regret.

[butterflyeffect]

Hi Gary,

I just wanted to stop by and say that your relationship with Hailey sounds beautiful. There is clearly so much love between you two. Regardless of the outcome of the therapy, it sounds like the only place you are going from here is up. xx

[GaryMichaels]

Hailey’s appointment with the new therapist is tomorrow and she is very nervous about going but she knows I am going to be there with her for support. I am hoping this will help her because I don’t want it to haunt her for the rest of her life. I understand that she will probably never forget it but I just wish I could give her some form of closure. The look on her face when she tries to talk about it kills me and watching her cry does too. Even if she never feels comfortable having sex again I want to take that pain away from her because she doesn’t deserve it.

Meeting Hailey was the best thing that ever happened to me and I think the way that we met wasn’t just some big coincidence and either does she. I think we are made for each other and I have never felt more alive than when I am with her. When we first got together people used to tell me we were just going through a puppy love stage that would die off over time but it never did. My feelings for Hailey grew stronger and nearly seven years later I am still head over heels for her and every time I look into her eyes I know she feels the same way and she tells me she loves me all the time.

When I asked her to marry me we were in our final year of college and one day when we were at her Dad’s old house I got down on my knees and asked her to marry me. I didn’t think she was going to say yes but she did and I put a burger ring on her finger because I couldn’t afford a real engagement ring at the time. I was worried she was going to think it was cheap but she actually thought it was one of the cutest things anybody had ever done for her. I bought her an engagement ring after we finished college and she wanted to buy it herself but I told her I wanted to buy it for her.

We got a house and moved in together that same year. Living with Hailey and Courtney changed my life for the better and it made me grow up a lot too. I had to because I had a wonderful little girl that was calling me Daddy and I wanted to be the best Fiancé and Father I could be for the both of them because they meant everything to me. My parents were worried if I was responsible enough to raise a daughter but I proved them I was and Courtney says I am the best Dad in the world.

Courtney is an incredible kid and I taught her how to play games like Mario and Sonic and all games I used to play when I was her age. I introduced her to Pokemon which was another thing I liked when I was a child and she loves Vulpix, Eevee and Skitty. She has DVDs, CDs, books, posters, cards, plush toys etc and we even named her cat Vulpix, her rabbit Eevee and her bird Misty. We are going to get her a dog for Christmas and we’re hoping it will get along with the cat. I have been teaching her how to play guitar too and Hailey has been teaching her how to play the piano.

Hailey is always changing the date for our wedding and she now wants us to get married next month before Christmas and she has changed all the plans around and informed our families and friends. I know there are some members on this forum that have warned me not to get married to her but I want to and I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. We have been together for nearly seven years (as I have mentioned) and I have waited three years for this day because she wanted to make sure we are right for each other and she thinks we are. I can’t just distance myself from her and become her best friend because she will always be more than that to me.

Thanks for all the kind comments again and support. An open marriage is out of the question even if Hailey was okay with the idea of it I wouldn’t be. In my heart it would feel like I was cheating on her and I couldn't bring myself to do it. The only woman I would want to do that with is Hailey and if the therapy helps she won't only be my first but she would also be my one and only. You can call me old fashioned if you want but I don’t believe in having sex with a person unless I am in love with them. It would feel empty and I just don’t see a point in doing it.

My heart belongs to Hailey

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by GaryMichaels

Hailey’s appointment with the new therapist is tomorrow and she is very nervous about going but she knows I am going to be there with her for support. I am hoping this will help her because I don’t want it to haunt her for the rest of her life. I understand that she will probably never forget it but I just wish I could give her some form of closure. The look on her face when she tries to talk about it kills me and watching her cry does too. Even if she never feels comfortable having sex again I want to take that pain away from her because she doesn’t deserve it.

She's going to have to express the pain on her own. You can support her while she does that, but you can't take it away from her. Keep that in mind when you feel desperately helpless (and you will, at times).

Let me share with you a metaphor that will probably be helpful for you and for Hailey.

This thing (and probably other unhealed issues) is like an infected wound. It may or may not have "closed over", but the reason it hurts so much is because it was never properly cleaned and it has never been able to heal as a result. The only way to fix it is to open it up, clean it out, and then allow it to heal. That process isn't fun (been there, done that!). Leaving it alone to fester just makes it worse, and while the idea of opening it all up is frightening, it has to be done. Healing will only come when the fear and rage and shame and other stuff is released.

Another metaphor is that of a broken bone that was never set properly. It may have partially healed, but in order to be really functional, it has to be broken again and properly set. Then, when it finally does heal, it can do so and become strong and useful again. Having it re-broken is not nice or fun or pleasant, but if it leads to true healing and functionality, it's worth it.

I've been through the healing process (not just for sexual assault which was, believe it or not, the least o my issues), so I'm speaking from experience, and from compassion. Please believe me when I say (and please pass this on to Hailey), it is absolutely worth it.

[TinaC]

Aww. You really love her huh?

I love reading your posts. It’s cute to see a guy so in love with a girl. I wish more guys were like you. My boyfriend is a great guy too but it wasn’t easy to find him. I just wanted to say I wish you and Hailey all the best and I hope therapy helps her. You are a wonderful guy for staying with her Gary and she is a lucky gal

I can’t believe some of you are suggesting an open marriage. It looks like Gary has very strong feelings for Hailey and if he was my boyfriend I wouldn’t want him having sex with another girl.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by TinaC

Aww. You really love her huh?

I love reading your posts. It’s cute to see a guy so in love with a girl. I wish more guys were like you. My boyfriend is a great guy too but it wasn’t easy to find him. I just wanted to say I wish you and Hailey all the best and I hope therapy helps her. You are a wonderful guy for staying with her Gary and she is a lucky gal

I can’t believe some of you are suggesting an open marriage. It looks like Gary has very strong feelings for Hailey and if he was my boyfriend I wouldn’t want him having sex with another girl.

Would you want him to remain a virgin for the rest of his life for you though? It's not hard to see why people would suggest this, if you really think about it, and include his natural needs in the mix, and not just Haileys. There are two people in the relationship remember, and both their needs are important.

Gary has stated his position in no uncertain terms, and no one is forcing the issue, in fact most here have expressed respect and admiration for his decision...that doesn't mean most people would understand it, not being in that situation. It's a pretty rare scenario I'd say.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by TinaC

Aww. You really love her huh?

I love reading your posts. It’s cute to see a guy so in love with a girl. I wish more guys were like you. My boyfriend is a great guy too but it wasn’t easy to find him. I just wanted to say I wish you and Hailey all the best and I hope therapy helps her. You are a wonderful guy for staying with her Gary and she is a lucky gal

I can’t believe some of you are suggesting an open marriage. It looks like Gary has very strong feelings for Hailey and if he was my boyfriend I wouldn’t want him having sex with another girl.

I have very strong feelings for my husband, and we are still in an open marriage. Open marriage has nothing to do with how much feelings you have for someone. It has to do with how you view monogamy.

I respect that this isn't a solution for Gary in his relationship, but I think we, as a pd community, would not be right if we didn't at least offer it as a suggestion.

[SaborWolf]

I've just begun a separation with my wife & she has had man problems her whole life... and she was never raped.

Women with men issues are something that you might be able to help her through... and a good possibility that you won't.

I'm just being straight with ya. I have had countless relationships with women who have had men issues... it's like they're attracted to me, or something. But the point is that they never see a man for what he is. They seem to always be stuck in the mode of being against men. And in the marriage, when you want to live out the part of "being a man", you will most likely find resistance from her at some point.

And if this is true... you should already be seeing the multiple subtle signs by now (whether you admit that 'those' issues you see now are actually issues, is up to you), outside of the fact she is afraid to have sex with you (and it's not religiously motivated).

The American thing for me to do is to encourage you to fight the good fight, etc.

My experience tells me that you should really think long & hard on this one. You won't be able to do a life without sex, trust me. Maybe women can.. but men can't.

Sex is more important than we give it credit for.. because of its "tabooness", so to speak. But 98% of men can not do without it their whole life.. and that's a big problem if you're not that 2%.

[GaryMichaels]

I have some good news. Hailey and I went to see the therapist on Thursday afternoon and while I’m not going to post too many personal details on this forum she actually said she does want to work on her problems so we can make love and possibly have a baby someday. Hailey told me she just needs some more time to work on things and I told her she could have as much time as she needs because I want her to feel comfortable with it. The last thing want to do is rush her into doing it just so I can say I am no longer a virgin but that is a sign of hope that one day we might do it.

I understand it would be difficult for some people to comprehend our relationship but in many ways it is not for me because I love Hailey and I know she loves me. She doesn’t need to have sex with me to prove that because I feel it when we’re together. I have the same kind of relationship with Hailey that I had with my first girlfriend and that is exactly what I wanted. If we do make love (which I think we will one day) it will be a bonus but I honestly have no reason to complain. See, I have something a lot of people are not lucky enough to find in their lives and that is a soul mate.

I was literally an emotional wreck when I met her. I was depressed. I was recovering from Alcoholism and drug addiction. I was close to becoming anorexic and I didn’t have a job but none of those things mattered to her because she saw the man inside of me and she saved me. This might sound corny to some people but Hailey is not just my Fiancée and my best friend, she’s my hero. I wouldn’t be half the man I am today if it wasn’t for her. I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for her and to think that she was going through so much herself shows how strong she is.

I did feel helpless when I was in the therapist’s room with Hailey and watching her cry always tears me apart but I know she has to do this in order for her wounds to heal and she can count on me for support. I appreciate your metaphors Butterfly Woman. She had a lot of difficulty talking about it with the therapist and she stuttered when she asked her questions. She even asked me a few questions which I wasn’t expecting. Hailey and I are going to see the therapist again on Monday and she told me she likes her new therapist a lot more than the last one because she is a female.

Sometimes I wonder if I am asexual. I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about having sex with Hailey and what it would be like to do it but I don’t think I have a high sex drive. I am not going crazy over not having sex like some of my friends think I should be, I don’t have the urge to masturbate frequently and I don’t watch porn. In fact, porn grosses me out because I think about how many different blokes the females in those movies must have had sex with and that makes me sick plus I don’t get any joy out of seeing another male’s privates. I have my own. Thank you.

Thanks for the kind comments Tina. I do love Hailey very much and if anybody is lucky it is me. I have an amazing Fiancée and daughter that love me and I will never take them for granted. I respect your choice to have an open marriage with your husband Ssandra but it just not for me. I couldn’t picture myself even kissing another woman because it wouldn’t feel right to me. Hailey and I are getting married on the 10/12/11 and I am looking forward to seeing her in a wedding dress. She has already told me and her friends so much about it and no doubt, she is going to look incredible. I don’t date people on looks but she takes my breath away every time I see her.