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| Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education |
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| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: india
Posts: 138
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Marriage – Problem Me and my coworker were very good friends from last 2 years, before my marriage. First of all her parents approached me to get married with her (her = shilpi=coworker) but I refused that proposal as our castes were different (caste is very important factor in India). After sometime I came to know that I am not finding the good girl to marry in our caste and hence then I approached her and that time she refused me. During all this times whatever mails and chats we had done, all this chatting, my wife has seen that. And now my wife is thinking that some sort of affair was going on in between me and shilpi, which was absolutely wrong. That’s not love that is just the mutual understanding as we were working together from last 2 years and hence we know each other well. Now my wife is very upset with me considering that I lied to her, which was also not true as there was no love involved in between me and shilpi then there was no question arises to tell my wife about her. My wife was constantly saying that she (wife) completely lost faith in me as a loyal husband. And now I don’t know what to do and how to convince her that I am not involved in shilpi and was only involved in my wife. I really love my wife. She is very understandable, loving, caring girl. Sometimes I consider very lucky t have her (wife) as my wife. Any suggestions please? I don’t know how to solve this … how to make her (wife) feel that she is best wife in this world for me. |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 44
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Exactly, I agree with IvyW. How would you feel if your wife did the same thing? What if you found her mailing and chatting with her coworker? Even if she wasn't cheating on you, you would still feel suspicious. Even the fact that you had an interest in Shilpi in the past is enough to make the whole situation suspicious. The way to get her to trust you again is to sincerely apologize to her. Let her know that you understand how she must feel about the information she found out. You have to make her feel secure. Don't do anything that you wouldn't do in front of her. Avoid any actions that could be misinterpreted as cheating. Your wife is supposed to be your best friend -- do the mailing and chatting with her instead. |
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