Unconfortable doing things alone

[Sajor]

A little background: I never was a social person, the last time i remember having friends was at 15-16yrs of age, since then my social life went down hill,wow its been 20yrs since i had a so called friend.

I currently rent a room at my dads house, i enjoy having family close by , but i lived by myself off and on since 17yrs old, in that period, i learned to do some activities on my own, like the movies,grocery shopping, eating alone, its weird because to this day i feel uncomfortable eating out,traveling,going to bars clubs by myself, every week i tell myself i will go to a public place, when the day comes, something pulls me back and i end up not going out, i start thinking negative thoughts , like people will think im weird or a looser for going to places were people usually go in groups , like movies,traveling, clubs/bars. On the bright side, about 2 weeks ago, i travelled from Phx,az to Grand canyon by land, i was determined to go by myself if no one was available, it so happens my dad never been there neither, so he tagged along, it was cool, because we shared the trip expense , but i was going to go alone regardless, after i did that short travel i felt like doing it again to other places, fast forward to the present, i wanted to go to the state fair a week ago, but because i couldnt find no one to go with i canceled that.

[Kait]

Originally Posted by Sajor

A little background: I never was a social person, the last time i remember having friends was at 15-16yrs of age, since then my social life went down hill,wow its been 20yrs since i had a so called friend.

I currently rent a room at my dads house, i enjoy having family close by , but i lived by myself off and on since 17yrs old, in that period, i learned to do some activities on my own, like the movies,grocery shopping, eating alone, its weird because to this day i feel uncomfortable eating out,traveling,going to bars clubs by myself, every week i tell myself i will go to a public place, when the day comes, something pulls me back and i end up not going out, i start thinking negative thoughts , like people will think im weird or a looser for going to places were people usually go in groups , like movies,traveling, clubs/bars. On the bright side, about 2 weeks ago, i travelled from Phx,az to Grand canyon by land, i was determined to go by myself if no one was available, it so happens my dad never been there neither, so he tagged along, it was cool, because we shared the trip expense , but i was going to go alone regardless, after i did that short travel i felt like doing it again to other places, fast forward to the present, i wanted to go to the state fair a week ago, but because i couldnt find no one to go with i canceled that.

I think that maybe you need to look up social phobia's. I think there you'll understand yourself alittle better. My children have the same problem.

[Leather Husack]

Go out and do things where you can make some friends. Just because you don't have friends now, doesn't mean you can't have friends. I don't like doing things alone either. Anytime I go out and do something, besides school, I'm with friends or at least family. Just go out there and meet some people.

[Sajor]

I should go out and look for friends, but tell you the truth, im just not motivated enough to do so, i need to take small steps at this, what i dread is eating alone, movies alone,

[Sajor]

Yesterday 10/29/2011, i decided to go to a sports bar to watch the ufc fight alone , b4 going i was having somewhat negative ideas, like people will think im a looser for going by myself , but i fought it and went,as i entered i noticed that i wasnt the only person that came to this event alone, thru out the event i had 2 beers, 2 waters and chicken wings, i have this sort of fobia eating alone, but them chicken wings are good so i said the hell with it and oredered my wings, i think it helped that my mind was focused on the fight , my next step will be eating at an actual restaurant where the only distraction will be my food lol................

[Clint Cora]

I agree that you should take things in small steps. But in terms of going out, I think you should include more venues that are more than just purely public, social places like bars you talk about. What about seminars, clubs, classes, courses, tours, lectures, etc., on almost every topic or activity out there? Surely these would be much less stressful than bars.

And you are right, there are lots of people who go out on their own. I vacation 75% of the time traveling the world on my own (and end up meeting lots of cool people as a result). Don't forget that many business people who travel also eat at restaurants alone too. For my last corporate job, I traveled 50% of my time and noticed that many restaurants especially in big business centres have started to accommodate single travellers by setting up single tables.

Travel solo is no longer as weird as you might have thought. It's a reality and many businesses, the smart ones, have recognized this and made efforts to cater to them.