Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

AnotherMe · 09-24-2011, 12:00 PM

Hello, This is my first post. I am so glad I found this forum. How could you go wrong with a website that's dedicated to "Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums!" I consider myself a smart person. Although, most of my life growing up I have been called "dumb" or "stupid." Oh well.

This is bothering me. Many of my closest old friends no longer call me anymore. One friend has said he would call me time and time again but never does. He lives in another state. I wonder why he does that. When he goes through hard times he usually keeps to himself. Another old friend doesn't keep in contact either but that's to be expected from him. I wonder if I am a downer or something. Maybe they are jealous? I have a wife and kid and they are both divorced. They also have drinking problems. Why do all my closest friends have drinking problems?! I don't even like to drink.

I ran into an "old friend" last night. He's crazy! Yet the whole time he's harping on me on how crazy I was. I don't get people.

Anyway, I'm rambling on. Nice to meet you all.

Agota · 09-24-2011, 04:01 PM

Well, do you call them yourself?

butterflyeffect · 09-24-2011, 05:00 PM

Welcome

If it helps, I regularly call people around me fruitcakes. Myself included. I just find that the more you get to know people, the more their quirks, talents and idiocyncrasies start to come out and they are never stereotypically normal TV personas so I call them fruity. Its not a negative thing just my way of interpreting.

AnotherMe · 09-24-2011, 06:44 PM

Thanks for the welcome.
Yes, I do call them myself. My "best friend" has said he would call me time and time again. But he hasn't. Oh well. He gets like this. But he has major issues so I guess I should not fault him. He's not worth getting hurt over.

yasny · 09-26-2011, 05:25 AM

There is a saying that goes that people are in your life for a "reason, a season or a lifetime" - something like that. Maybe these folk are just busy with their everyday stuff, or maybe it's a sign that that relationship has ended to a certain extent. Who knows, you may pick up the friendship again later. I feel that someone must want to be in your space, and you in theirs. If that want is not there, it's not there. Simple. It is sad though, but part of life. Rather have genuine people in your space than a whole lot of insincere relationships that mean nothing - either to them or to you.

Brutha · 09-26-2011, 11:24 AM

In your post you tell us all sorts of negative thinks about your "closest old friends".
You tell us that they have drinking problems.
You list a bunch of problematic things about them.

If you think that way about them they will feel the negative energy when they communicate with you.

AnotherMe · 09-26-2011, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brutha

In your post you tell us all sorts of negative thinks about your "closest old friends".
You tell us that they have drinking problems.
You list a bunch of problematic things about them.

If you think that way about them they will feel the negative energy when they communicate with you.

No that's not it. I'm usually a very funny person to be around.

mishmash · 09-26-2011, 04:32 PM

Don't feel guilty or try and make excuses for why people haven't called you.
It's not you, it's THEM
Like Yasny says, they could be genuinely busy, and push it to one side while something more important comes along - I do it all the time, and I would hate it if any of my friends were to think something was wrong with them because that's not the case - and if anything I feel really guilty.
I'm also quite forgetful and have often read texts/emails then something else comes up and it totally goes out of my head.
I also have a busy schedule, so trying to fit things in is hard.
Try arranging something you will both enjoy.
I think for those with a drink problem it's going to be hard to put something before alcohol - and surely you are better than that??

09-24-2011, 12:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
AnotherMe Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Dallas Texas Posts: 5	Old Friends Don't' Call Anymore! (So Glad I found this forum) Hello, This is my first post. I am so glad I found this forum. How could you go wrong with a website that's dedicated to "Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums!" I consider myself a smart person. Although, most of my life growing up I have been called "dumb" or "stupid." Oh well. This is bothering me. Many of my closest old friends no longer call me anymore. One friend has said he would call me time and time again but never does. He lives in another state. I wonder why he does that. When he goes through hard times he usually keeps to himself. Another old friend doesn't keep in contact either but that's to be expected from him. I wonder if I am a downer or something. Maybe they are jealous? I have a wife and kid and they are both divorced. They also have drinking problems. Why do all my closest friends have drinking problems?! I don't even like to drink. I ran into an "old friend" last night. He's crazy! Yet the whole time he's harping on me on how crazy I was. I don't get people. Anyway, I'm rambling on. Nice to meet you all.

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09-24-2011, 04:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Agota Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Barleylands, United Kingdom Posts: 1,257	Well, do you call them yourself?

09-24-2011, 05:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
butterflyeffect Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 801	Welcome If it helps, I regularly call people around me fruitcakes. Myself included. I just find that the more you get to know people, the more their quirks, talents and idiocyncrasies start to come out and they are never stereotypically normal TV personas so I call them fruity. Its not a negative thing just my way of interpreting.

09-24-2011, 06:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
AnotherMe Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Dallas Texas Posts: 5	Thanks for the welcome. Yes, I do call them myself. My "best friend" has said he would call me time and time again. But he hasn't. Oh well. He gets like this. But he has major issues so I guess I should not fault him. He's not worth getting hurt over.

09-26-2011, 05:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
yasny Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: johannesburg, South Africa Posts: 23	There is a saying that goes that people are in your life for a "reason, a season or a lifetime" - something like that. Maybe these folk are just busy with their everyday stuff, or maybe it's a sign that that relationship has ended to a certain extent. Who knows, you may pick up the friendship again later. I feel that someone must want to be in your space, and you in theirs. If that want is not there, it's not there. Simple. It is sad though, but part of life. Rather have genuine people in your space than a whole lot of insincere relationships that mean nothing - either to them or to you.

09-26-2011, 11:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
Brutha Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany Posts: 8,749	In your post you tell us all sorts of negative thinks about your "closest old friends". You tell us that they have drinking problems. You list a bunch of problematic things about them. If you think that way about them they will feel the negative energy when they communicate with you.

09-26-2011, 04:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
mishmash Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: England, United Kingdom Posts: 17	Don't feel guilty or try and make excuses for why people haven't called you. It's not you, it's THEM Like Yasny says, they could be genuinely busy, and push it to one side while something more important comes along - I do it all the time, and I would hate it if any of my friends were to think something was wrong with them because that's not the case - and if anything I feel really guilty. I'm also quite forgetful and have often read texts/emails then something else comes up and it totally goes out of my head. I also have a busy schedule, so trying to fit things in is hard. Try arranging something you will both enjoy. I think for those with a drink problem it's going to be hard to put something before alcohol - and surely you are better than that??