Need some advice in regards to a friendship

[Lychee]

I have a problem with a friend...

Let's say I have a friend Bob and Joe. I've known Bob for little longer than I've known Joe, and we both (Bob and I) have helped each other out when it comes to work. I would say it is a mutualistic relationship. Joe and I are good friends. I am not as close with Bob as I am with Joe.

Bob has a very sarcastic sense of humor and he does crack on me quite frequently. However, I think that this is just a part of who he is and associating with him I've accepted it. A month ago Bob said something annoying/mean/rude to me repeatedly and Joe said that he was a mean person. I kind of went off on Bob while talking to Joe since I also got upset about it.

But I still keep in contact with Bob because I acknowledge that he has helped me with things. That isn't to say that I am fond of Joe; in many areas I do believe that he can be and is an ass. Anyway, we all meet up in the same place usually and today I decided to wait for Bob and Joe left. After a while I got a call from Joe saying that it was messed up how I waited for him because I said that I didn't make sense because I said that I didn't like him earlier. He said he didn't get it and I just responded with "ok" since I didn't want to have an argument with him that might put more tension between us. After that he said bye and I said bye, and then when I was hanging up the phone he said "That is retard..." and then the phone shut off. I didn't have the time to open it up since it was already about to close. Joe doesn't like Bob at all.

I wouldn't say that I am true friends with Bob. I would say acquaintances, but the main thing which is preventing me from just cutting relations with him is because he has helped me out when he didn't have to. I think that when Joe told me he was being mean and making fun of me, that kind of put fuel to the fire especially after that particular incident.

Do you think Joe is justified in thinking that I am wrong? Was my behavior or reaction to Joe inappropriate? Am I being naive in thinking that Bob cracks on me because he doesn't like me or just because ie enjoys getting on peoples' nerves? Am I wrong to thing that it is just a part of who he is? Anyone have any tips on how I can come to terms with Joe and not have this affect our friendship? Is Joe right?

[ZHereford]

It sounds like you have forgiven Bob for what he said and if you have that's cool. None of us is perfect so in some ways we do have to accept others as they are. As long as Bob does not continue to be disrespectful or rude to you, you can continue to be acquaintances.

It's possible that Joe finds your acqaintance with Bob a threat to your friendship with him. If that's the case you may need to reassure him that you value his freindship.

If Bob really is a jerk and has no intention of being otherwise, maybe you should back off.

Ultimately you have to decide what you want from Bob and Joe. Is their friendship/acqaintance worth it to you? Do you want them in your life?

Good luck!