Have standards when it comes to your friends

[ken nubo]

You have to admit; not all friends are created alike because some people are just losers, okay? Nothing wrong with being a loser – it's not on my part to judge. But! When it comes to my friends, I'm highly selective of people who I'm “friends” with. People who are ambitious, courageous, and have the desire to be all they can be are my friends.

Does it mean if you have to end all your friendships? Of course not. I have tons of acquaintances who I can go to the bar with, party and talk to or hang out on a Saturday evening. It's for the social outlet. But they're not really friends. Friends are those people who you can hang out longer and on a continual basis. They provide mutual support for you to grow as a person and reach that potential (Whatever is it. Perhaps eating 50 hot dogs in 30 minutes?), as oppose to the mediocre crowd who just meets the status quo.

Like I said, have friends who are supportive and have high standards. Loser people will only bring you down to their levels, because if you go any higher they'll feel threaten. Staying at their level gives them the validation that's okay to be mediocre (or they'll say normal ... such dorks)

[Gene]

Originally Posted by ken nubo

You have to admit; not all friends are created alike because some people are just losers, okay?

I've heard and given lots of advice in my life regarding friends and peer groups. I have listened to my grandmother say, "birds of a feather flock together" and mean that if I hang out with the bums I will be seen as a bum by the community and that the community may well be correct in this assessment.

I have had mentors who advised me to, "Stick with the winners." He repeatedly told me to seek out and cultivate genuine friendships with those who had the thoughts, skills and careers that I wanted for my self. He helped me to understand that I was more likely to reach my goals in the company of people pursuing and achieving similar goals.

I sometimes discover that people who have been friends in the past are no longer attuned to the same wave length that I am on today. I do not stop caring about them. I do not stop being their friend. I do quite often quit hanging out with them though. If it is my goal to live a sane and sober life I do not have much interest in chugging pitchers of beer at the local bar or in watching others do so.

The above is not intended as a moral judgment on drinking to excess, falling down and puking. It just is not on my list of things that enhance my life. YMMV!

[Shamou]

Excellent posts and excellent advice Gene and ken nubo... thank you guys for sharing that with us...

.

[norbert]

Recorded words from me, although I never call them "loosers", I just call them mediocre.

Some years ago I've spent my time with lots of "normal" friends. There was no space for proactive friends to come into my life.

Even though I lost my very best friend recently and I feel totally alone, I refuse to spend my time with mediocre guys.

I've got a bunch of free space for new proactive friend(s). I'm never going to drop my standards. They are part of my core values.

[bon]

I am just getting to this realization that everbody doesn't necesary want to go higher and don't want you to either so I have dropped off many of these weighted people from my shoulders and my burdens already feel lighter. I had to really get to the point where I knew it was ok to cut people loose and not feel like I was judging them. I now feel I can fly solo to my destination because I have what it takes within me to do so and not looking externally for what is already in me. It has meant that I am mostly alone but that doesn't feel that bad now either since I really see in me for the first time. I know that if energy is of my level it will vibrate to me because I turned the downers loose.

[Freelancer]

I'm getting to the point where I am actually repelling friends not in line with my belief systems.

For instance today I tried to explain the importance of growth in life to a friend, I'm decent at explaining something however she didn't seem to 'get' it and started getting angry. I dropped the subject while hoping she'll consider it, in the meantime I'm fairly sure that this person will most likely 'disappear' out of my life eventually. Not because I try'ed to force her out but because its not a fit anymore...